Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

imperfect_cupcake · 09-10-2016, 12:38 PM

Thank you!

I'm learning. I'm finding if I date differently I have fewer problems this way.

I no longer date people who smoke pot every day (hard in Vancouver!)
I no longer date binge drinkers
I no longer date people recently single as they find it too difficult to slow down, mostly.
I no longer date repeating serial monogamist daters (from intense monogamous short term relationship to the next. They really, really want to be in a relationship and figure it out on the fly, rather than be single).
I no longer date people who have mental health issues that have not been addressed and under treatment for less than five years.
I no longer date people who have addiction/drink issues that have not been sober for less than five years.

That generally has removed most of the people who rush or pressure me.
I'm also very up front that I won't a) move cities b) move in with them. Ever.

I'm also just not fond of "new relationship energy." In fact, I hate it. And I'd much rather skip to the part where we are comfortable and less interested in impressing each other. That doesn't come without trust though. So I have to grit my teeth through the bit I loathe... And come across as anti-romantic curmudgeon (unless they have a great sense of irreverent and dark humour, enjoy playful sarcasm and then it's not painful at all, it's fun).

Haven't had any luck. But I'm not trying that hard. Have just assumed I'll be single and have been pretty good with it. I'm hoping for someone who wants and will be happy with a lovely *relaxed* date night once a week between connected and playful individuals. Rather than a live in partner who will look after them and keep their house nice.

Lol I'll let you know when hell freezes over.

09-10-2016, 12:38 PM	#336
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,726 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Thank you! I'm learning. I'm finding if I date differently I have fewer problems this way. I no longer date people who smoke pot every day (hard in Vancouver!) I no longer date binge drinkers I no longer date people recently single as they find it too difficult to slow down, mostly. I no longer date repeating serial monogamist daters (from intense monogamous short term relationship to the next. They really, really want to be in a relationship and figure it out on the fly, rather than be single). I no longer date people who have mental health issues that have not been addressed and under treatment for less than five years. I no longer date people who have addiction/drink issues that have not been sober for less than five years. That generally has removed most of the people who rush or pressure me. I'm also very up front that I won't a) move cities b) move in with them. Ever. I'm also just not fond of "new relationship energy." In fact, I hate it. And I'd much rather skip to the part where we are comfortable and less interested in impressing each other. That doesn't come without trust though. So I have to grit my teeth through the bit I loathe... And come across as anti-romantic curmudgeon (unless they have a great sense of irreverent and dark humour, enjoy playful sarcasm and then it's not painful at all, it's fun). Haven't had any luck. But I'm not trying that hard. Have just assumed I'll be single and have been pretty good with it. I'm hoping for someone who wants and will be happy with a lovely relaxed date night once a week between connected and playful individuals. Rather than a live in partner who will look after them and keep their house nice. Lol I'll let you know when hell freezes over.