[tiaras-and-books]

I'm just now beginning to be brave enough to refer to myself as femme, and even that I'm only comfortable with here on bfp. I don't know why it takes feeling brave about it.

Anyway! For me it wasn't a single aha moment. It was gradual, and had a great deal to do with finding BFP and being able to connect with a lot of what femmes here shared. It kind of helped me sort out my own feelings, to read about what other people had sorted out for their own, if that makes any sense.

It's a little about outward stuff - if I could afford it, I'd have mani-pedis all the time, the cutest clothes ev-ar, all that sort of stuff. Femme doesn't specifically mean that, in my opinion, but if I had my druther's I'd be one heck of a cute pinup type.

But mostly, and really, it's about the inside stuff. I don't know how to explain it except that once I began to have a grasp on what "femme" kind of meant, it was just a calm sort of "yes. that means me." kind of feeling, as if I already knew that about myself and I was just learning the word for it is all. Which is sort of the way it was, I guess. I feel like the type of energy/power/whatever I have in me, it's feminine in nature. This is remarkably hard to explain! Hopefully/probably a lot of you know what I mean, anyway.

So for me, it's about that energy, and what happens to that energy in response to someone who's butch to some degree.