Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post

03-18-2015, 11:05 AM

Have your parents said you're unwelcome in their home? Or is that just a feeling borne out of this current frustration? Remember feelings are fleeting, they can come and go as quick as a bad lover!

A little background
I have a family situation. Not because I'm queer but because of how I behaved as a teenage addict. I'm now 51yrs old and the siblings [ages 50 & 45yrs] have held 31yr silent-treatment grudges.

The solution for me
What I've learned in recent years is that I have no control AT ALL over people [what they say, do or think], places or things. The things I have any control over are myself and my perception of the world.

Talking through other folks long held prejudices has never gone well for me. So instead I work on my own stuff. In some places they call it 'Keeping our side of the street clean'; I work hard on seeing my own part in such difficulties. After that I let the situation go and concentrate on making my life as happy as it can be for myself and the family I've chosen to be in my life. Giving other folks rent-free space in my head to bring me misery is a really unhealthy place and I take steps to make sure I don't hand over that level power over my thinking to anyone else nowadays.

If I was in your shoes
I would continue visiting my folks with my partner. I would be civil with the irritant. I would do my best to be kind to everyone and behave in ways that I would wish to be treated. In other words I would lead by example. Actions speak way louder than words.

03-18-2015, 11:05 AM	#8
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Speaking only from my own pink sheep of the family experience... Have your parents said you're unwelcome in their home? Or is that just a feeling borne out of this current frustration? Remember feelings are fleeting, they can come and go as quick as a bad lover! A little background I have a family situation. Not because I'm queer but because of how I behaved as a teenage addict. I'm now 51yrs old and the siblings [ages 50 & 45yrs] have held 31yr silent-treatment grudges. The solution for me What I've learned in recent years is that I have no control AT ALL over people [what they say, do or think], places or things. The things I have any control over are myself and my perception of the world. Talking through other folks long held prejudices has never gone well for me. So instead I work on my own stuff. In some places they call it 'Keeping our side of the street clean'; I work hard on seeing my own part in such difficulties. After that I let the situation go and concentrate on making my life as happy as it can be for myself and the family I've chosen to be in my life. Giving other folks rent-free space in my head to bring me misery is a really unhealthy place and I take steps to make sure I don't hand over that level power over my thinking to anyone else nowadays. If I was in your shoes I would continue visiting my folks with my partner. I would be civil with the irritant. I would do my best to be kind to everyone and behave in ways that I would wish to be treated. In other words I would lead by example. Actions speak way louder than words.