[pajama]

Originally Posted by TruTexan

Someone who cries victim a lot is sometimes the abuser. Huge Red Flag. The rest of the red flags, there's just so many that are so different.

Originally Posted by always2late

I think that the most insidious form of abuse is the one that is not overt, because it is seldom recognized AS abuse while it is occurring. Emotional manipulation, threats of self-harm or suicide, the abuser claiming that they are being victimized or even claiming to suffer some form of abuse at the hands of the person they are abusing....these can often be overlooked as the truly abusive acts that they are...and can be more damaging because they are, at times, tolerated or excused for far longer than physical abuse would be.

Originally Posted by JustLovelyJenn

• He was extremely determined to get things his way. He even asked me to marry him every day for a month before I agreed.
  
• He was very quick to point out his needs and insist on having them filled.
  
• Things I needed or wanted could be explained away, there wasnt enough time, or money, or whatever... it could wait for now.

I came in here to read and learn. I have been blessed to never have been in an abusive relationship. In my 20s I would say I was the abuser, for the above reasons. Traits I learned from a lifetime of watching my aunt abuse my Mother and our family is such ways. I'm glad others on here were able to point out better than I, this form of manipulation and control IS ABUSE!

Peace to all of you and thank you for sharing your stories and insights.
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