[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I have been in a couple of abusive relationships in my past. Relationships I do not usually talk about outside of the trauma work I have done on them.
I have also witnessed abuse by others and a lot of the warning signs mentioned can be applied across the board when it comes to DV; straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, ect ect men, women, MtF, FtM, ect ect even vanilla and BDSM folks dominant, submissive, ect ect ect each can be an abuser and/or victim.
One thing I always had to keep in mind was while there were warning signs that could be applied across the board there are some that are specific to that person whomever they are.
If you ever fear for your life in any way for any reason no matter who you are you are most likely in an abusive relationship. This was always the hardest warning sign for me to swallow and to acknowledge that I felt whenever I felt it in the past. A lot of that has to do with the myths mentioned in some earlier posts about male or masculine identities and what society and sometimes our own families can teach us about pride and self worth. I know for me as a FtM it was always hard if not impossible to admit when I was being abused especially if it involved physical abuse or I feared for my life. I always felt "less then" at these times which would be why reporting the abuse did not happen, seeking help in the DV community did not happen, and I think was the one thing that always played into the going back to them over and over even when I knew better.
Still though that is the one behavior of mine that I will never understand no matter how much therapy I have around the trauma why did I always go back over and over even times asking them back hell begging them to come back. It is a red flag or for me it is especially when added to the other ones mentioned.
My biggest advice is listen to the people that know you and better yet if you are in therapy listen to your therapist if they suggest you examine something...examine it.
Also for the guys out there she doesn't have to hit you for you to fear for your life.
Kuddos to everyone that has posted either about recognizing their warning signs or changing their behavior. Both are big...