[Esme nha Maire]

Bex-9Tales, the one thing I'd definitely disagree with you about is regarding MTF socialisation as male and thus experiencing male privilege as necessarily happening, or necessarily happening to the extent that one could justifiably claim to have experienced the male experience of the world, in all cases.

Even that, like so many things, varies from individual to individual. I didn't have to work on thinking like a woman in the slightest; it was just natural to me. Or, put another way - I've always just thought like me, and no-one seems in any doubt that I'm female these days! I haven't a clue what it feels like to be male, think like a male, etc. (gah! stereotypes!.. -can't be helped, for sanity's sake). I'm not claiming any kind of superiority in any sense over that, that's just my personal experience.

As a child, I was treated as if a male child, and expected to be and behave as such, but internally I simply was not, and behaviour wise, well, I was just me, and caused some degree of concern from a fairly early age, I later discovered, although my oddness was put down by my parents to my being bookish and introvert at first, and possibly gay when I was older. I say 'possibly' because I didn't really fit their notions of what a gay lad would be like either, which is hardly surprising, because I wasn't one. And whilst I was presented with "here are these expectations of you, 'cause you're a boy", what I paid most attention to was what was expected of girls and women - because I - the me in here (taps the side of my head) was a girl.

Like yourself, I was aware of issues relating to behaviour with regard to personal safety, but I suppose I had the "geek escape clause" working in my favour . Geeks are expected to be eccentric! And I most definitely was (and am) a geek!

Whilst going through the transition process and being a member of a support group, it became apparent to me that there is a very wide variation in MTFs, not simply visually, but also mentally. But just as some did come across as rather blokey in behaviour, with others it was hard to imagine them as ever being anything other than women , and I don't mean just visually. I was not the most extreme case of being naturally female/un-blokey in behaviour, either.

And male privilege? I'm not claiming that categorically I experienced none whatsoever, but quite honestly, I'm damned if I can think how. The experience of being belittled due to being clearly rather odd (because I simply didn't have it within me to be 'one of the guys') previously felt pretty much the same as does being belittled for being a woman now, the only difference was that I didnt experience trans-hate pre-transition.

Hence my raising the subject of socialisation, because I've seen over-generalisations on the subject in both directions. Rather than experience male privilege and then female lack of privilege, it's been my experience of always lacking privelege, initially because I did not fit expectations, and then due to being visibly female. I'm just as sure that some MTFs do not need to adjust their behaviour and thinking in order to fit in well as female in todays society as I am sure that some do.

I've found it interesting to read of FTM's experiences here, and I've been getting the impression that it's probably more common for them to feel they've experienced both sides of the male/female divide because of the different way in which their dysphoria manifests and its timing. But I'm guessing - I obviously cannot know for sure if this is so, and would be interested to know how they feel about this.

I note that I've seen more than one FTM here express disquiet at the fact that once they have transitioned, they will be seen to be part of a group (males) some of who behave in ways they feel are anywhere from simply damned impolite through to abhorent. Indeed I've pointed out to one FTM myself that not all cis-men behave badly, and in transitioning they will have just increased the chances that some womans next encounter with a bloke will be a pleasant and amiable one.

I'm bemused that I have yet to see any MTF express disquiet that post-transition they will be seen to be part of a group (females) that behave thus-and so. I can't help but wonder whether there's a touch of societal skewing of peoples thinking about what it is to be male or female going on there. I mean, women can behave badly just as men can, and certainly not every MTF woman is an angel, just as not every man is the devil incarnate.