[Signmypapyrus]

Bump

I’m about to spend time with my family, and thankfully I won’t see my assailant, but seeing my family always comes with its problems.

A slightly older female relative began molesting me when I was about three. Then when I was eight, a friend spent the night and touched me inappropriately. I don’t fault these girls because I believe they were molested as well.

I told when I was ten and got into therapy, although I struggled with PTSD, depression, and suicide ideation most of my life until my twenties.

When I was twenty, a guy raped me and none of my relationships have been... healthy. It’s the main reason I don’t date. I need someone so patient, and while I think that person is out there, I’m in no rush.

I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was ten, consistently for the past seven years. I’ve primarily done CBT and hypnotherapy. I still struggle with things— I have pretty bad anxiety, especially around people I don’t know— but at the same time many people have described me as badass, terrifying, etc. Sometimes this is a defense mechanism, other times it’s because I’ve had a childhood equatable to Dorothy Allison and what am I going to do? Sit around and cry about it? No.

My heart is definitely for kids who have had traumatic childhoods, who are lost in a system not geared toward them. Many teachers, myself included, are not equipped to handle these kids, but I have some things up my sleeves.

Thanks for this thread!!