[dark_crystal]

It has been a crazy week!

I work for a municipal government, so our health insurance is subject to change every new fiscal year. This year we changed from Cigna to BCBS, as of last Tuesday (October 1).

Neither my therapist nor my psychiatrist are on BCBS. I have to find a whole new treatment team.

I was in a spiral over that, then on Friday one of my assistants got me to approve something i knew would upset my other assistant, so i spent the whole weekend dreading a confrontation i was sure would be ugly (it was fine) and picked a big ugly fight with Mr. Jenny on Saturday.

I was so concinced that my other assistant was going to hate me now that i applied for a branch manager job that i normally would not have considered.

THEN yesterday, i went for the feedback on my psychological testing and found out i DO have ADHD-PI (PI= predominately inattentive) and have had it my whole life.

So a big part of my early trauma is now explained-- i was raised by a third-generation perfectionist and i had a disorder that meant i made a lot of mistakes and forgot stuff all the time and was shamed all day every day for it.

So NOW i have to find a whole new treatment team BUT i am also eligible for accommodations at my job which i am totally going to pursue.

I am going to be allowed to work at home on anything that requires sustained attention, so that way i can use my office hours exclusively for meetings and my staff's petty dramas and i won't be trying to like, put together the annual budget while people are in and out having crises all day.

Yesterday i got called for an interview for that branch manager job and now that my assistant isn't mad, i don't know why i applied. I have to call back and decline the interview, which i hope does not hurt me if i ever apply to that system again.

Anyway, big emotional roller coaster.

I guess i will go and revive the ADHD thread now