[sylvie]

i soo appreciate your thoughts on the journalling, it's a great idea.
i think i could really learn from that.. right now, i do journal each day, it's a must of me - but not quite that detailed.. i could use looking back on all of those details, learning, accepting, forgiving, my feelings & the changes within me, as i grow with this each day...

i am leaning towards purchasing a weight scale, it's something i've not done because i really do obsess my weight.. but wondering is it healthy to obsess it some? i noticed You said you recorded weight before and after eating & i can see how looking back on the things you recorded would help in the longrun.. including the derogatory comments - in looking back.. being completely honest about your feelings, good or bad ...

i think this is really something i could benefit from doing Miss Scarlett, thank you for sharing! i'm eager to hear advice of any kind, it's all helpful to me, because i sought help not long ago and everything is so raw and new to me in dealing with these emotions and the anger and the up & down moods..

i keep telling myself i am proud of myself for doing this hard work.. And though most people in my life do not and will not understand, what's important is that i recognize the dangers in what i was doing, and i did what i thought i would never do, ask for help.. so much to celebrate for that alone, it's one of the few things that drives me to keep at this, even after i fall.. That and the love & support of a few amazing people in my life... ♥ as well as the sharing from all of you!

Thank you, so so much! (i know i keep saying thank you, but i just cant explain how grateful i am, for the sharing as well as the reps and messages, encouragement, & understanding..

PS - Today was an easier day for me - but i was free of temptation and avoided certain things.. my father, however called me today and upset me a great deal, he's a negative force in my life, very often.. That upset caused me to get very emotional and the stinkin' thinkin' began.. But i was able to deal with that upset in a healthier way through meditation (which has become a great source of comfort for me) i did a self love meditation, which put me in a stronger, healthier frame of mind..

Not the way i would deal with emotions and stress in the past of course, but i wasn't riddled with anger over NOT turning towards food - and so for today, that felt good..The difficult thoughts were there though, wanting to binge and wanting to seek out food and put myself in unhealthy situations that would torment me, a form of self abuse i have..

not acting on those thoughts, is worth celebrating for me today!