[CherylNYC]

I'm white and I've dated/partnered with many women of color. I'm a New Yorker, so the law of averages will kick in when you live in a racially diverse place like NYC. That said, I like to think of myself as a strong ally for POC, and I speak out often to other white people about racial injustice, so it's possible that women of color may feel less unsafe when they date me than they would dating a white woman who needs more education. I hope I'm not flattering myself.

I agree with Bully. I see the world differently when I'm with a POC. No matter how many anti-racism workshops I attend, nothing replaces the lived experience of witnessing how differently white people behave when they encounter people who aren't white. I think it's a positive thing that I haven't lost my anger about it.

I'm dating someone who is Mexican American. So far we haven't experienced any overt racism as a couple, BUT... I'm an ardent, life-long feminist and she sometimes struggles with the cultural Latin machismo within her. She would probably object to that characterization, or at least to the part about struggling, but we've had some conflicts over who pays for what. And then she says, "This is my culture". We joke about it, but when her sister heard that I'm a feminist she laughed her head off and said, "Let me know how that works out".

Another cultural conflict between us which could come up later is that she's Catholic and I'm a Pagan/Wiccan. So far, so good. But I think if I ever meet her family my spiritual practice will become a problem.