WHat an excellent thread!! I have to add femme privilege on top of all the other privileges I have: white, upper middle class upbringing, educated, previously heterosexual married mama, able bodied. I chose Judaism as an adult so I don't feel as though I have encountered a lot of antisemitism in my life. The privilege of being a femme and having the ability to disclose my sexual orientation if I choose to is a definite privilege. When I first started dating my partner I did not notice any difference in how I was treated. As time has gone on I am now noticing people looking or seeming uncomfortable. I am sure it was there before I was just oblivious. It never even occurred to me to look for or expect that before because I have never encountered any discrimination in my life.
To those I have come out to in my community and in my family I have experienced some not very nice reactions. The only thing I think has made it easier is the femme invisibility factor. I don't look queer to most straight people so I am more palatable I guess.
The interesting thing to me is that the place I feel the most out of place is the queer community. I don't have any credibility. I've only had one partner, hopefully always will. I don't have a history of activism. I'm not sure if time will change that. So many of the experiences of other femmes here I have yet to experience or may never experience. I guess I don't know how to unpack all this privilege. I'm trying.
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