If you don’t know someone, if you’re meeting for the first time, there has to be something that makes you want to connect. Putting online aside for a moment, there’s going to be something about the way they look that catches your attention, something that causes that immediate visceral attraction. I’d venture to guess that even online there’s going to be something about the way you assume they look (that picture you build in your head) that catches your attention.
I’ve never really understood why it’s shallow to be attracted to certain physical qualities or why it’s shallow to pursue those attractions.
It seems to be considered a “bad thing about us” if we are only attracted to certain things. If we don’t pursue partnerships outside what we “typically” desire. If we say out loud that we desire xyz and only desire that. Why is that bad? Why is that shallow?
It seems to me that we are assigning a value judgment to our or others desire. Which leads me to ask…if you don’t desire something does that mean you are judging that thing to be bad? If someone does not want to be with you does that mean you are bad/awful/unworthy? Because, often when I’ve heard this type of statement it is said in the context of “you are a shallow (bad thing) if you can’t look beyond your desires”. Because a person doesn’t want to be with you romantically/sexually (whatever) does not mean that they find less value in you as a person? Because you don't want to be romantically/sexually with a person does that make you bad?
Perhaps people can explain what they mean by shallow. As I hear that word it a negative judgment of an act that seems damn typically human to me. We desire what we desire.
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