[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by sylvie

Anyway, all this to say, i no longer enable him, i no longer even ASK about the drinking, none of that.. so i've walked away from that part of his life, however now i am dealing with his anger.. and i think the reason for it is because he sees me, trying to help myself and he has no desire to help himself, so he sets me up to fail...

So yes, i really do need to step away from it all, sad that i live about 2 blocks away from him, so i'm apt to bump into him here there and everywhere, but i need to stop tolerating his crap.. No bringing the no no foods in this house, and if he cant stop doing it, i wont go to HIS house.. i no longer call him, and if he calls me and he's in a mood, i tell him i have to go, and i'm not arguing with him..

this is a very big step- celebrate it for itself! yes, there are other steps to take, but for now, put some energy into strengthening these boundaries

have you been to ACOA meetings? They might be just as helpful as OA for you http://www.adultchildren.org/

You mentioned on Wednesday that you were calling for counseling. how did that go?

it seems like getting help is such a project! i remember my 2nd couseling session, after i had been sent home from my first with instructions to

1. see my primary Dr. for a physical to assess damage done to my body
2. find a nutritionist
3. find a psychiatrist and get on antidepressants

i came back the follwoing week, after spending innumerable hours tracking down providers and making sure my insurance covered them and getting appointments and referrals and all the rest

and told my therapist "CHEESE AND RICE! if i didn't HAVE ocd i never would have gotten through all the red tape for getting TREATED for ocd!"