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Old 06-10-2020, 11:36 AM   #6479
FireSignFemme
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Guilty about pretending to be happy, cheerful, sunshiny. Like like I'm over being mad at J or wasn't bothered at all by her treating me poorly at a family event. It's just now with my grandson involved, when it comes to being real, the stakes are so much higher.

Guilty for feeling jealous about my son's stepmother babysitting while J goes to a doctor's appointment. I know it's safe and sane that, in the unlikely event of just in case, I don't. Still it bothers me that she can and I can't.

Guilty for being petty and immature when I know it's only temporary. Just until he can pick up the phone and dial 911. Especially when between the two of us I'm actually the one who gets to spend more time with him because unlike her I don't have to work.

Besides after all he's not my grandson, he's OUR grandson. Hell I'm over 50 and I learned before the age of 7 it's nice to share, yet here I am, still working on it.
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