Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkieLee
What is on my mind right now...
A mix of emotions. My brother is being released from prison today, after almost 8 months. He has been an addict for his entire adult life (20+ years hardcore). In my heart I know that him being locked up this time, saved his life.
Part of me is happy that he is starting over with a fresh, clean slate. But the other part of me worries that he is going to relapse. Worrying about his lying, stealing, & keeping my parents in constant fear, are some of the many things that I can't seem to shake off. Not to mention, the fear of losing him forever to his addiction.
All I can do is try my best to think positive and say a little prayer.
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Sweetie..
Let me tell you about my baby brother..
He is 38 yrs old and since he was 13 he has been in and out of trouble..
He has done state time twice and been in local lock up more times that I can remember..
He has a history of rage and violence.. and unfortunately is a big boy who has never lost a fight.. (well.. except the time he knocked me over a chair and I came back at him with 3inch nails.. I say I won that one, cause I only had a lil black eye and he had nail marks from his cheek to his chest.. in august... in missouri... sweat much?)
He stole,lied,wrecked EVERY car my mother has had, made my parents life a hell.. (My dad still hides his wallet, and my mom keeps her purse next to her always)
He's an alcoholic and a drug addict.. I wrote him off because I will not submit myself to his behavior...
Two years ago he came in drunk and hit my 87 lb mother.. Hit her so hard that she hit the wall... He didn't remember any of it..
That was the last drink he had... He's clean two years... No more trouble with the law.. He is working pretty damn hard to change habits of a life time... He still is pretty much of an imature asshole in my mind.. but he is trying..
One interesting fact is... about 8 months ago he was diagnosed as Bi-Polar.. He says that the meds his is on make the world a different place...
Anyway.. The entire reason I'm telling you this is... Change can happen.. I understand the fear, the distrust, the disbelieving... I can also understand that hope that this time it's going to be different..
And sometimes.. sometimes... this time is different..