Originally Posted by TexasCowboi
02Jul13.....so...... I seemed to have found a new level of ballistic/impact protection..... okay, okay.... let me start from the beginning......
In my infinite wisdom..... no... no.....let me start again.....
I am not losing my better judgment.... I knew full well what I was getting into, I just had trouble remembering how much it hurt.... I was raising the artform of flying through the air, to a new level.....
A few weeks ago, I went out and bought a cheap pair of roller skates..... when one does this, there comes a time when you actually have to skate..... you know, put the skates on and go skating.... where the wheels on the skate actually roll.... and...well,
I did this at the ripe age of .... well.... let's just put it this way, before this past Saturday afternoon, I had not been skating....(on roller skates.... the old fashioned 4-wheel kind)....in almost 30 years....(those of you who know me, already know where this is going)....
I finally worked up the nerve to go to an actual skating rink where I sat down, took off my shoes and put on my skates, laced them up and smiled..... then I realized I had to roll over to the rack to put my shoes in the little cubby hole..... after slowly rolling over to the cubby hole, without falling yet, I managed to place my shoes in the little easy to reach section......
Now, with my new found confidence, chuckling at all the little kids that were rolling around, falling down and promptly getting back up, my thought was this...."if I fell, I wouldn't.... I mean, WHEN I fall, I hope I can get back up that quickly".... gliding along cautiously..... getting faster and more confident, I start a few cross-overs in my turns..... and about 45 minutes into my new found confidence in a cross-over, it happened..... a little too much confidence too quickly, my wheels clipped and I went air-born..... the hang-time left a lot to be desired, I've done better..... I hugged the floor with the enthusiasm of a little kid at Christmas time... My arm folded up underneath me as I slid a few more feet, but not before My right boob tried to punch a hole through the floor and a squeak emanated from the air rushing out of my lungs..... I don't think I felt too much crepitus from my rib-cage as I popped back up and continued on my merry way.... I think I heard a lady ask me if I was okay... she was skating for her 50th birthday.....
as of today, I continue to nurse my rib-cage and brace for the sneezing or coughing...."sneeze-squeak" or "cough-moan".... what do I do?..... go out and get a pair of faster skates and padded undergarments..... maybe next time I'll post a video.... although, this one would make my running buddy, Jean, proud... I think she would have actually asked me if I was okay before she started laughing at me....
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