[imperfect_cupcake]

I'm having a bit of an issue with my age and level of experience in life/sex today. Two of my exes are now seeing girls 10 years my jr. Both of them are dead sweet, lovely, intelligent girls. They also have smooth, lovely skin, pert tits and round firm asses. Oh an long dark curly hair.

My wife ran off with someone with no experience, straight girl that turned out to be not straight - so that triggers a bunch of political stuff for me... and the other girl is just a doe eye'd sweet girl with some, but not a heap, of experience.

I'm feeling a bit old a battle scarred today. I know I have a ton of experience and that's all grand, but it tends to paint me as a cougar type older femme and to be perfectly honest, I'm just not.

I'm just as sweet, soft and vulnerable as I was in my 30's. I'm tired of 20-30 something dykes coming up to me and telling me "oooo I bet you'll eat me for breckfast!"

No I fucking won't, actually. Piss off!

I don't want to be pegged into the Mature experienced woman who will show you things and unlock your secret desires then you can fuck off with those new skills and go pull sweet innocent things.

I've got a side to me that seems to be more invisible with age. If I'm maternal, dominant, firm handed, experienced and a bit tough... then as I age that's all jim dandy. But my sweet, vulnerable girl side seems to become more and more invisible and unacknowledged.

It was fine to be that way till I hit 40. Then I've been thrust into a different realm of how my femininity should be played out in terms of desirability.

And I've never been hacked off about aging before - I've always been relieved by it. But today when I was doing massage work on my ex's new gf (we were over before she met her) and I was running my hands over her 10 year younger body and listening to my ex tell me "she's lovely and sweet, isn't she?? what do you think? you like her??" in the kitchen... yeah, I do like her. She really is a lovely person.

But I feel, if I'm totally honest, banged up and worse for wear. And like a part of me is utterly invisible.

So how does femininity age? I feel shoved into a different "role" if you like as an older and, frankly over-expereinced femme. Having given sex seminars, worked in sex shops, done phone sex, webcam girl and pro-domme (that's a job, not exactly who I am), written about dyke sex, shown quite a few butches/genderqueer/androgdykes their first connection with their female dick... I don't get to be viewed as the sweet girl that I am. I don't know how to make people still see her.

So I'm trying things to make her more visible. Like stopping swearing, not maybe dressing quite so femme-fatal. Reminding people my favorite flower is daisies.

How do other femmes deal with this switch over and being thrust into Mature femininity? I feel a massive loss. And to be honest it really hurts.

I think about Maude from the Movie Harold & Maude (on of my most favourite romance films) and Maude is incredibly sweet, charming, funny, delightful and full of a mature and experienced innocence that I wish I could convey. I adore Maude. You can still clearly see the spritely girl she is.

But yes, do others feel this pressure in femininity, a shift as they age?

Maybe I'm just feeling it more having had two ex's select girls 10 years my jr with little experience.