I read what you wrote...
you've gone through so much.
I too have gone through a lot...
There's times though I had found me so angry at God though., but it seems then eventually God and I talk about my anger... its like God is still teaching me about anger... I have a ways yet to go about anger...
I can at times trust God even when it doesn't make anysense, but other times its as if I need to let my anger out towards God...
now how did I go towards this word anger... I don't know, but it seems there's this hope, purpose, desires, and when its taken away, I have deep emotions and there's times I'll try to suppress these emotions and all it does is it gets worse...
But its like I can't suppress my emotions for long as I eventually dirrect my emotions at God.
But the part I'm learning is my relationship with God is: eventually through my allowing God, then the very emotions that I dirrect to God is renewed and God teaches me more about the emotions...
I guess what I'm saying is: there's no way I can be nice 100% to God at all times... It seems that God gets my all, all of me, just as I am...
And I really am learning and in my learning, its so personal and yet, if someone was going to observe me, actually my own folks, looks down on me, for the type of relationship I have with God., as my folks are more church looking good type with so many laws they try to keep...
I can't do that, keep any image...
There's so manythings that happens that brings me down that I dont' know how people can actually always have a nice image with God...
I can't have a nice image with God, and in this, as I'm real with God, ...
I went to God when so down, and it wasn't pretty, but it was then I learn first hand from God.
God is my friend and there living in me,
thankyou for sharing...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.
Dear Citybutch,
Thank you for your kind post. It made me smile ear to ear. Yes, the path to God is not a one way street as alot of folks believe it is or would like to think it is.
I have come to learn from others visually like Shirley MacLaine, Roy Rogers and his wife Dale Evans, plus those who have a gift like Damon Brinkley. God has always drawn me from an early age because of the abuse I endured, and I asked for help from God. However, the spirits are very obvious to me. I think because I am not like most people. I don't have a voice like others. My voice is internal. I hope this makes sense.
I feel that there is more to life than what we know it to be. There are those who feel like they have to eat fish on Friday end of story. Then you have those people who have other views. The God I know to be is of love. For example someone said that God is punishing Japan so He caused the earthquake and the tsuami and now the nuclear nightmare. It makes me very nervous so I don't watch the news now. But I know God did not have anything to do with that mess. It is the same with my sister dying of skin cancer. God had nothing to do with that. She died from cancer. Cancer is horrible. It makes me sad, and want to scream at the top of my lungs. I pray for a cure every day. I hope to see that happen one day.
It is my faith and belief system that knows my sister is safe, happy, and healthy now. She isn't suffering. What most people don't know online is that I was the last person to see her alive. She died 45 min. later after I left her. I went directly to St. Jude's Shrine. I prayed to Mary and Jesus to take her. I would rather suffer missing her, and the pain involved, than to witness her suffering.
What I don't understand is why folks want to start a pissing battle online over who is right or wrong on someone's faith? It makes no sense to me. It doesn't matter what site it is on because I have seen it time and time again. That to me is just a reflection of how much this still a big controversy. Again, like someone wants to debate who is/is not psychic, orbs, ghosts, spirits, the knights of Templar, Mormans, and so on. It is what it is.
Now before my sister died from cancer, I had to endure my adopted step father dying from bone cancer, then my adopted mother dying from Altzheimer's Disease. My older adopted gay brother read the book you mentioned. He got alot from the book. I read a few pages and put it down. It went in one ear and out the other. I have no clue as to what I read. Nodda.
I just wish others would have an open mind and heart to this. I just see so much hatred and opinions that it has to be one way only. It isn't. Life is not like that.
Thank you again for your post. I very much enjoyed it.
Namaste,
Andrew
|