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Old 01-12-2012, 09:28 PM   #24
CherylNYC
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How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme lesbian
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I'm a woman. Behave accordingly.
Relationship Status:
Single, not looking.
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
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I have to chime in because I detect a whiff of sexism here. Would a femme woman ask whether she should simply not date at all because she's living on disability and can't afford to take her dates out or buy nice things for them? I think not. I wish there wasn't a presumption that the male/masculine partner is supposed to foot the dating bill. I honestly thought we laid that to rest in the 1970s! Silly me.

I work and make enough money to support myself. If I met someone I liked I wouldn't be particularly concerned if their income was far smaller than mine, as long as they were living within their means and they were not a deadbeat who simply refused to work. Yes, disability income is usually quite low, but many people live on SSI. I wouldn't rule them out of my dating pool because the pool is already very, VERY small! And as Dapper pointed out, SSI is a steady, reliable income.

As for PTSD, many of us live with this disorder. I would rule out an active drug addict or alcoholic. I would rule out an abusive person, or a mean one. PTSD wouldn't keep me away as long as it's managed. That said, one of my criteria for dating is that my potential dates should be less crazy than me. My late gf didn't exactly fit that criteria, so I obviously didn't take my rule very seriously. The way Caren was able to live honourably with the affects of her traumatic history made me respect her more every day. Her grace and forgiving nature were gifts that continue to inspire me.

Of course most of us who are dating have some idealised perfect person that we fantasize about. Well, that person just doesn't exist. We all have quirky/disfunctional/difficult traits. We all have outright character flaws. We all have histories that make us who we are. Just keep looking and you'll find women who will be happy to know you exactly as you are.
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