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Old 01-14-2012, 03:16 AM   #35
Soft*Silver
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I have a severe case of PTSD, have had panic attacks, relapsed a few years ago after 20 year of sobriety, and have multiple medical problems and health care needs. I was so poor I lived on $115 a month from welfare for over 2 years before I finally got on SSDI. Even now, I am dependent on family and a very very small handful of friends who help me get by. Had it not been for them, I would literally be living under a bridge in a cardboard box. I had a series of relationships that rocked whatever stability I did have and then an accident that took me all the way down. Not exactly datable material and I knew it. The fact that I knew it meant I was getting WAY better. The self preservation I was establishing so that I wouldnt put myself in harms way was significant. I am capable of love but just wont do it because one mistake by the other person could set off my PTSD and god help them....it wont be good. I have extracted myself from potential relationships because I DO love the people. Its how I love them. To not hurt them. And at this stage of my life, thats all that could come of this...

in saying this, I am saying that all the advice about knowing yourself and where you are in your healing and life journey is the key. If you are ready, you are ready. But I caution you to also know what you want too. Do you want to date or are you looking for a relationship? Because I think too many people set out wanting to do the latter and say they want the former. Thats bad news because its based in denial. You might be ready to date but not ready for a relationship. think some on it.

as for money, (and I shook my head over this as I read your words), I have dated the uppercrust and the indigent. I got treated like shit by the one with the most money and some of my relationships were with people who got food stamps. Which i do, by the way. I refuse to carry shame around about my financial stability. I am so broken I cant work, both mentally and physically. If you think not giving me food stamps to survive will pad your pockets more, good for you. Hope this never happens to you...
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