[CherylNYC]

It feels as if the older I get, the more invisible as a femme lesbian I become. First of all, I now own a car and I no longer ride my motorcycle everywhere full time, and year 'round. I did that until I was about 48 years old. Besides the fact that riding through winters in New York makes any person look bad-ass, (bad-ass woman=lesbian is often a safe assumption), my motorcycle and my helmet are bedecked with rainbow stickers. That's been my regular cue to the world for most of my adult life.

But it's not just the motorcycle. Something else has changed. I may look softer now, and for better or worse, I think I blend in better. My closest friend who has known me since I was in my mid twenties commented on it the other day. She said, "You look more and more like a straight girl. If I were meeting you for the first time I might not guess you were queer."

I don't like it, but I don't think I'm prepared to deliberately change anything about myself. At least not yet.