Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie
My name is Drew and I am an alcoholic-addict. I have been clean for 25 years. But that's not what this thread is about.
My 17 year old daughter Jessica is abusing drugs and alcohol. She refuses to admit she has a problem although there are some tangible consequences happening as a result of her drug use. Her violent outbursts at her grandmother (my ex-wife's mother), whom she lives with, have her grandma in fear for her life. Jess hangs around adults who take drugs and are violent people, she has stopped going to high school altogether, and she has stolen her grandmother's ATM card and withdrawn $700 with no explanation about what she did with that money, and she is bringing her friends home to live with her even though her grandmother doesn't want them in her house. Jess simply threatens to get rid of her grandmother's dog and she caves.
I can't convince Jess's grandmother to kick her out or report the stolen money to the police. I can't convince her do anything about this. My ex-wife (who has legal custody of Jessica) doesn't want anything to do with Jess and won't get involved in any constructive way. She yells at her mother and at Jess and that's about it. Jessica's biological father is a practicing addict himself and has a history of being violent with her when she was younger. Basically I am the only parent in her life who believes she needs some tough love and treatment for her addiction, but I have no parental rights since I am not biologically her parent. I can't have Jess come live with me because I am on disability and living with my parents in a retirement community. What complicates this further is Jess will be 18 in 2 months. Then there will be nothing any parent can do as far as forcing her into treatment.
Are there any other people who have someone in their life who is on a crash course with jails, institutions and possibly death due to an addiction? Perhaps we can support each other here.
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I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I am a recovering addict myself...3 years clean in august. My younger brother is currently in the grips of addiction. He has lost his drivers license after getting 2 DUI's within weeks of each other. He also had to move back in with my parents after he was beaten badly by his roommate because of an argument over drugs. I have had a few serious talks with him about his addiction and I have offered support to help him stop. He denies that he has a problem. I did the same thing for years. I was arrested once for possession, lost a girlfriend, made bad choices, damaged my relationship with my family, and overdosed a few times. The last time that I used spent 6 days in an ICU...recovering from a near fatal overdose. My brother was in highschool during most of my using years. He stayed away from drugs because my downward spiral scared him. He started using when he went to college. He lasted 2 years there before being expelled for selling drugs out of his dorm room. He had a string of dead end jobs. He had an offer for a really good job...but couldn't pass a drug test. A few years ago he made an effort to quit using and attempted to change his life for the better. He joined the air national guard. He made through 6 weeks of training before leaving for bootcamp. 2 days before leaving he went out and got high. He failed the pre-bootcamp drug test and was discharged. It makes me sad and angry that he can't get clean. He knows how bad things got for me...but still uses. I have come to realize, in the past year, that I can't get him to stop. He is the only one that can do that. I was the same way. I needed to experience something that would make me see how bad my addiction had gotten. I hope my brother has that experience as well. It is hard to accept that I can't do anything to help him. It is hard...but I have let him go. I have come to understand and live with the fact that he might die because of his addiction. I have made it clear to him that if he does want to stop...I will be there for him...that is all that I can do.