Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaDrug
 I think I worded mine completly wrong I appologize.
Over the weekend, I went to a Butch-Femme Social and came to the conclusion, that you are who you are. It's something I've always known and felt, just never put into words or expressed. Its okay to label yourself whatever you want, butch, femme, soft, hard, black, white, purple, etc., but as soon as someone else tries to smack a label on you then its wrong.
I dont know why my generation has such a problem with accepting or labeling themselves, maybe it's the idea that as soon as they label themselves it will open a flood gate to others labeling them too? |
Let me try this... to me and only me (personal opinion)... I was kind of taken aback by the former sentence of not accepting myself... not offended just made me think...
I do not have a hard time accepting who I am. For many in the area I am living in there is no such thing as butch, femme (and so forth with the labels). you are either straight or gay. there is no in between... I have tried to have conversations about the topic with others and I get the confused look and the question well "which one are you" (to me and those who know me within this community, it is clear that I embrace the femme side of things).
To an outsider they think butch just means short spiky hair, and lesbian just means two women who... well... yeah... It is difficult to place a true label on myself outside of the community. to them I am just a plain lesbian, done deal... that chick is gay ("though she doesn't look or act gay" true words over heard or directly spoken to me).
I know who I am and who I would like to become and maybe it is a bit passe to say but I do not always see where the labels outside of the community make a difference. it is not like I will walk up to someone and be like... "Hi, I am hp and I am a femme" hello look with three heads. People will only see us with in a community as lesbians or dykes (the stereotypes we are placed in by those outside the community).
I respect where the labels come from, how they came to being and the struggle that our past brothers and sisters in the LGBTQA community have been through. Maybe I am being confusing but with everything out there via facebook, twitter and other social networking tools... maybe somethings need to be kept private, within a select community.
As for others labeling me... I get annoyed with it. I told someone I was a femme and I am looking for a butch/ boi to be partnered with... because they heard "Boy" and not "boi" they were like... so you are bisexual or are you just straight (I shook my head trying to explain eventually I changed the topic)... I have come into my own as an independent woman, and I do not need others questioning my sexuality, I have not gone back in the proverbial closet, however I do keep things a bit more private than I did when I came out at 18.
*sigh*
Not sure I am making much sense... I am not trying to offend, just trying to place my words... I am here to learn and educate.
I hope my 2 cents is worth something...
hp
*peace*