[Bootsandheels]

You’ve heard it all when finally faced with whether or not to take a real shot on someone…
“Aw…just take a flying leap!”…Just jump! “Gotta step off that cliff…
And one of my new personal favorites I’ve heard as of late:
“Flying is the best part of jumping…”…Ya…riiiiiight…..Mmmhmm.
Tell that to my shattered heart down there…oh and bring the broom & dustpan would ya? It’s right next to the superglue and duct tape-over there…

(*Big Breath….in and out slowly…eye roll for dramatic nuance…)

I've been kicking and fighting this…this whatever this has been for 11 months now…this THING…that I’ve had going with this BUTCH…person…thing…and NO …
(*synchronized mechanical clicking cog noises here…)
Don’t you dare call her my girlfriend! I’m not commited…not in love…never will be again…not like THAT…I don’t believe in that kind of love anymore…I’m DONE…do you hear me?
(*a loud KERPLUNK here….)
D.U.N. done! I love her,…but I”ll never be IN love with her or anyone else AGAIN…do you hear me?
(*low pitched enormous WHOOSH here….)
This is ALL you’re going to get-this is it, take it or leave it…and if it‘s not enough then TOO BAD!!!
(*High pitched whistling rocket sound here…)

*Cue music...Cyndi Lauper singing…“When you fall I will catch you…. I’ll be waiting…time after time…”

Damn…
she caught me…again and again…
she set me upright on my feet where I could dust myself off, look her in the eye and say with a steady killer glare…
“Why?”

Because I love you.
“No.”
Because I love you.
“No.”
Because... I LOVE YOU.
“Oh…”

I’ve watched her prove it
Day after day…
I’ve watched her walk it out
In her gentle way…
I’ve felt it (no one’s ever treated me THIS way…)
I’ve fought it
Please…just…just go away…”
No
“Why?”
Because I love you.
“So?”
I’m not going anywhere…
“Like I care…”(snicker)
Yes you do.
“What…?”
Care.
“Why?”
Because you love me.
(300lb stones hits castle walls and completely crumbles…)
“Oh…
Shit…”

Boots
lkf 7/15/2011
For those military history geeks:
Trebuchet:

Another artillery piece that was similar to the catapult in mechanical function but appeared much later was the trebuchet. The first known trebuchets appeared in medieval Europe in the 12th century. The trebuchet is probably the engineering marvel of entire medieval period. Trebuchets were the only known exception to the rule that ancient artillery was technically superior to medieval artillery. The trebuchet was not only the engineering marvel of medieval Europe, but also, it probably hastened the end of the medieval period. It did this by simply ending the usefulness of medieval fortifications, or castles.

The primary difference between the catapult and the trebuchet was that the catapult used elasticity as its power source while the trebuchet used a counterweight for power. This was an advantage in earlier times when elastic materials were difficult to obtain. Another enormous advantage of trebuchets over catapults is that trebuchets did not have a stop position to the mechanism and this greatly reduced wear and tear on the machine. Counterpoise siege engines largely replaced the catapult by the middle of the 13th century.

Although nearly anything could be thrown by a trebuchet, the preferred ammunition was spherical stone shot that could be as large as 300-pounds, or 135-kilograms, according to modern estimates. The counterweight of a large trebuchet could be as much as 10 tons, or 9100 kilos, and the throwing end of the arm could be 50 feet, or 15 meters long. Some trebuchets had a hollowed out cavity to hold the ammunition while others used a sling. Slings increased the range substantially and it is believed that they had a range of at least 300 yards, or 275 meters. Another feature that increased the range of the trebuchet was the addition of wheels. It is believed that the trebuchet was remarkably accurate and it could do serious damage to fortifications of the period. Many of the medieval castle ruins attained that state because of the trebuchet. Small trebuchets were used to clear archers and crossbowmen from defensive positions.