I agree with the internalized homophobia angle that e presented. I think it applies to both butch/butch and femme/femme coupling, but it seems the femme/femme dynamic can more often be seen as arousing in the same way that hetero men often think of two women together, as if they are hot and sexy but incomplete in a way that makes it easy to fantasize sliding in there as a man or a butch and completing the image.
Butch/butch, however, is more often seen as complete, just as gay male couples are, and not inviting that idea of a masculine person to complete the image (not that no one ever fantasizes about being a third with two men or two butches, but that it's not as common to hear about or see, and I think more often the locus of interaction is projected to be the third party rather than the first two).
It's yet another manifestation of misogyny, I think, just as I think all homophobia is when cut to its core.
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