What fart did you fart today?

batennisboy · 02-08-2014, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycfem

Just another fart thread for giggles because as Pamela Anderson said in her old column in Jane Magazine, "Farts are never not funny."

THE ORANGE OOMPA LOOMPA FART

Today I farted while on an elliptical (like a treadmill) at the gym today. It was a sour silent fart that lingered, as in my prayer, "Please disappear," but no... still there, perhaps even reaching a potential no one could ever imagine it would achieve at it's humble beginnings.

Unfortunately I was on a piece of equipment right next to only one other person. It was very clear who "dealt it." She handled my toxic gas with true civility and class by simply moving to an elliptical a few machines down from me, no 'tude in the least. When I've been in the reverse situation, I have not been as generous, instead angrily inhaling the stench while giving dirty eyes to the farter, who, of course, pretends that they don't notice they are being hated on.

I tried to diagnose my fart as I continued on my cardio machine all alone, as in, what created such a monstrous expulsion? I did have an orange and some almonds before working out, or was it the power bar, or some combination thereof. I had to go with the orange.

So, what fart did you fart today?

OMFG!!!!! You have made my evening!!!! You are an inspiration!!!

mountainbikedyke · 02-08-2014, 09:12 PM

~subscribing~ because farts are funny!

Soon · 02-08-2014, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mountainbikedyke

~subscribing~ because farts are funny!

LMAO! How'd I know you'd be in this thread PRONTO?!

Medusa · 02-08-2014, 09:16 PM

I did a "scare the dog" and a "punctuation" fart today.

The "scare the dog" is exactly as it sounds. Gracie was sleeping on the bed as I was cleaning the bedroom and I let one rip. It was a loud retort, kinda like a gunshot, and it woke Gracie up and she immediately growled and stood up, looking for robber who was surely breaking in/wind.

The "punctuation" fart is the one where you make a long, vibrating fart but there is an "exclamation point" at the end. Like one last extra fart to top it all off!

PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF POP!

batennisboy · 02-08-2014, 09:19 PM

OMG...I *love* this thread!!!!!

mountainbikedyke · 02-08-2014, 09:31 PM

I like the "question mark" fart!!!

Medusa · 02-08-2014, 09:46 PM

I truly do wish T-Rex would come in here and talk about the time I chased her through the lobby of the only 5-star hotel in Arkansas at 3am while letting the World's Loudest Fart

DapperButch · 02-08-2014, 10:15 PM

I just farted in the car on the way home from the play TF and I just attended. I had to, the gas had been building up! It was a high pitched squeal of a fart.

It didn't even have a smell for some reason...

Liam · 02-08-2014, 10:34 PM

Subscribing in solidarity, pretty quiet day for farts, here.

02-08-2014, 09:12 PM	#2
mountainbikedyke Member How Do You Identify?: Masculine Woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago y'all! Posts: 256 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 373 Thanked 494 Times in 147 Posts Rep Power: 20425078	~subscribing~ because farts are funny! __________________

02-08-2014, 09:16 PM	#4
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,680 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000026	I did a "scare the dog" and a "punctuation" fart today. The "scare the dog" is exactly as it sounds. Gracie was sleeping on the bed as I was cleaning the bedroom and I let one rip. It was a loud retort, kinda like a gunshot, and it woke Gracie up and she immediately growled and stood up, looking for robber who was surely breaking in/wind. The "punctuation" fart is the one where you make a long, vibrating fart but there is an "exclamation point" at the end. Like one last extra fart to top it all off! PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF POP! __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-08-2014, 09:31 PM	#6
mountainbikedyke Member How Do You Identify?: Masculine Woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago y'all! Posts: 256 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 373 Thanked 494 Times in 147 Posts Rep Power: 20425078	I like the "question mark" fart!!! __________________

02-08-2014, 09:46 PM	#7
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,680 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000026	I truly do wish T-Rex would come in here and talk about the time I chased her through the lobby of the only 5-star hotel in Arkansas at 3am while letting the World's Loudest Fart __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-08-2014, 10:15 PM	#8
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,808 Times in 5,771 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Great thread! I just farted in the car on the way home from the play TF and I just attended. I had to, the gas had been building up! It was a high pitched squeal of a fart. It didn't even have a smell for some reason... __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

02-08-2014, 09:19 PM	#5
batennisboy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: In love with the fuzzy yellow objects of my affection. Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 82 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 284 Thanked 277 Times in 79 Posts Rep Power: 4135522	OMG...I love this thread!!!!!

02-08-2014, 10:34 PM	#9
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,876 Times in 1,860 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Subscribing in solidarity, pretty quiet day for farts, here. __________________ <3 Love is weird.

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