Bottoms up...

[TenderKnight]

So, I wanted to create a thread about bottom space, which I feel is a little diffrent from sub-space. For me, when I am in bottom mode, I move diffrent, respond diffrent, and FEEL diffrent.. More open and accepting of my Top's touch and command.. I don't think, I enjoy.. I do.. My goal is to allow my Top to use my body as they want to.. This is something that I am kind of just opening myself to again, and I have to say, I am enjoying it! lol This is also more of a sexual space for me..

On the other hand, sub-space is, for me, more of an evolved space.. It involves D/s as well as B&D.. It is something that I have to fight for at times, to find that perfect giving over and letting go.. It is within myself, in my own head, in the dark with my breathing and the sensations across my body. It is DEEP.. Bone and soul deep.. Total diffrent head space then being a bottom.. lol

I am not sure if this is the same for everyone, but I would love to hear some of y'alls input on this.. I guess as a switch, I can explore many diffrent spaces, but I seem to have the most fun in bottom space.. lol.. When in pup space, I am mainly in bottom mode too.. Unless I get Alpha, in which case, it's a total OTHER head space.. lol

hmmm.. I guess with sexual bottoming, the point is to eventually get each other off.. In sub space, the point is the exchange of energy.. A give and take that involves much more then condoms, lube, and a ball gag (which, by the way, I have found I LOVE ball gags!!! lmao). I also tend to push myself as a submissive.. I try to take more, be it a flogging, needles, breath play.. I like to dance along that edge and I tend to go for black flagging Tops *shrugs*

So, I guess this is a thread that is asking for stories, input, opinions, and experience about being a bottom, or dealing with bottoms as opposed to submissives.. I look forward to your input and thanks for reading, lol

In Light and Leather,
Tony

[Mitmo01]

I will have to post more on this later but im finding myself more and more accepting of this space that is called bottom---I find myself wanting to allow so many things that i crave and need that i shut off inside for so long....ITs like an awakening really and sometimes its kind of overwhelming..

I will be back because i would like to hear more from other people who are innately inclined to this position like myself..

[TenderKnight]

Mitmo01, sorry it has taken me so long to reply, I was actually hoping someone else would come in too, but oh well

You know, it took me a while to become "OK" with being a bottom.. It was very much a guy pride thing.. But you know, I have found that I don't have to be Top to be powerful.. I find great power and quiet strenght when I bottom in a BDSM sense.. I love being able to take what my Top can dish out.. It brings me a quiet pride that I was able to handle it.. Not to mention the wonderful peacefullness that takes me when I hit *space*..

I really hope that you are able to explore that part of you with a partner(s) that get you and are able to bring everything you have to the surface so that you can release and explore that side of yourself.

I have to admit, when I Top, I kinda stress out.. I usually get some Top-drop stuff too.. I mean, I am a very safe Top and it would kill me to know that I harmed anyone.. Which I have, not in a BDSM sense, but more on a personal level.. I know too that Tops can be hurt by my actions as a bottom.. *sighs* It is always such a delicate dance for me..

One of the other benefits for me being able to bottom with a Top that i trust is that I am able to say, "wait.. I need some cuddles now, please".. Not like wimping out, but more like if I start feeling like I'm not doing it right and my Top is getting frustrated with me, it takes me into lil space.. Not a space where I can take a beating and not be harmed by it.. I am becoming more safe with myself, being honest with what I *really* need to keep me safe.. That is *my* role and part in the safety issue.. If my Top has no clue that I just dropped into lil space, how is He/She going to know that maybe I need some cool down or a hug or even just a few words letting me know that I am being a good boy.. I'm proud that I can be a safe bottom for my Top..

These are just my free flowing thoughts, I hope that they make sense and I really hope that some more folks come in to share or maybe ask questions.. I think that a thread about bottoms and an exchange of ideas on the topic would be a good thing for others, not just me.

In any case, thank you for your post, mitmo01 and again, sorry it took me so long to respond.

In Light and Leather,
Tony

[TenderKnight]

Awww.. 165 veiws but only one person had input or a comment? Am I truely the only bottom here?? Is Mitmo01 the only person interested in this thread??

Hmmm.. Ah well, will wait and see

[TenderKnight]

OK, I have been contacted by a few members in private.. I just want to make clear that I get privacy and not wishing to air your personal life online.. My above comment wasn't meant to guilt people into posting or anything.. I'm happy that people have been reading and do care about the topic. Thank you all for your input and thoughts, both in this thread and in private.

-Tony

[Luckydwg07]

I have just recently been with a a friend who has turn my world upside down n very happy about it .
I have always been a top and was always expected to be one; however I agree the bottom can be a very nice place especially when it satisfies my partner and can feel oh soo nice. The whole experience in moving into positions is a real turn on for me!. I get an "egg" just thinking about it. I enjoy all the space and find that I peak many more times because of such an encounter with this beautiful being.
I have had minimal if even slight s/m intrigue I also do not enjoy everything a bottom might beg for but letting go and experiencing the bottom aspect is not at all giving up control its liberating. hard to explain but ..we understand our roles and comforming pleasure. When I want to be or asked to be dominant I am without hesitation and I guess that maybe my primary role.
I have been with different partners who ask for different kinds of intimacy and I play hard this is just another wonderful experience
Thanks for the thread!

[JinxdGirl]

I've been active in kink for well over a decade. I've always identified as a bottom that aspires to be submissive.

In my home leather group I was known as the door knob bottom, because, for me, when I bottom it's a mutual scratch that needs itching. For that space in time the Top can do and say pretty much whatever they want, within the set limitations of that play date. Outside of play I do not submit to that Top or anyone else for that matter. Simply because I've yet to find anyone I can allow myself to submit to. Submission for me is huge and it's not something I can do lightly. (Not that I'm saying others can or do, just that I cannot.)

For me to bottom is to give all of myself for a short amount of time and I have loads of fun when I bottom. Bottom space for me is just about as close to heaven as I've ever known, but I can't go in search of it or I'll never find it. To bottom to someone can be cultivated. To submit to someone would have to be organic. That said, trying to cultivate bottom space is beyond my ability. It happens when there has been substantial exchange, typically through pushing my concept of how much I can withstand.

I think I've rambled off course and forgot where I was going.. so I'll wrap up by saying this:

I, too, am a bottom. You are not alone. And someday, I just might be able to respond without losing my signal and stay on point.

PS: Sorry if this was a guys only thread, after looking over everything again I notice I'm the only nonmasculine responder.

[TenderKnight]

Originally Posted by Luckydwg07

I have just recently been with a a friend who has turn my world upside down n very happy about it .
I have always been a top and was always expected to be one; however I agree the bottom can be a very nice place especially when it satisfies my partner and can feel oh soo nice. The whole experience in moving into positions is a real turn on for me!. I get an "egg" just thinking about it. I enjoy all the space and find that I peak many more times because of such an encounter with this beautiful being.
I have had minimal if even slight s/m intrigue I also do not enjoy everything a bottom might beg for but letting go and experiencing the bottom aspect is not at all giving up control its liberating. hard to explain but ..we understand our roles and comforming pleasure. When I want to be or asked to be dominant I am without hesitation and I guess that maybe my primary role.
I have been with different partners who ask for different kinds of intimacy and I play hard this is just another wonderful experience
Thanks for the thread!

Hey! Thanks for your input here I totally understand the thrill of letting go and when it's with a partner that you are totally into, it's even better! I'm glad that you are finding so much fun and enjoyment out of this experience, and I totally agree that bottoming isn't always about giving up your control.. Thank you for taking the time to post

-Tony

[TenderKnight]

Originally Posted by JinxdGirl

I've been active in kink for well over a decade. I've always identified as a bottom that aspires to be submissive.

In my home leather group I was known as the door knob bottom, because, for me, when I bottom it's a mutual scratch that needs itching. For that space in time the Top can do and say pretty much whatever they want, within the set limitations of that play date. Outside of play I do not submit to that Top or anyone else for that matter. Simply because I've yet to find anyone I can allow myself to submit to. Submission for me is huge and it's not something I can do lightly. (Not that I'm saying others can or do, just that I cannot.)

I feel the same way.. I find it really hard to submit out of bottom/scene space.. I am always respectful, but something inside of me just refuses to bend" for just anyone.. Honestly, when someone *expects* me to bend just because of thier title, my respectometer goes down to about zero.. Maybe this is something I need to work on, maybe it isn't.. But, as I said, I am always respectful to whomever it is I'm meeting, in or out of the Scene.

For me to bottom is to give all of myself for a short amount of time and I have loads of fun when I bottom. Bottom space for me is just about as close to heaven as I've ever known, but I can't go in search of it or I'll never find it. To bottom to someone can be cultivated. To submit to someone would have to be organic. That said, trying to cultivate bottom space is beyond my ability. It happens when there has been substantial exchange, typically through pushing my concept of how much I can withstand.

I love the use of the term organic here.. I totally agree with that.. There is one Top in my life that I would love to submit to.. With him, I don't have to think about it, it's the energy between us.. Sadly, neither of us are in a place to get into a D/s relationship.. It is very fun bottoming for him though! Even if he can be a crule bastard.. lol

I think I've rambled off course and forgot where I was going.. so I'll wrap up by saying this:

I, too, am a bottom. You are not alone. And someday, I just might be able to respond without losing my signal and stay on point.

PS: Sorry if this was a guys only thread, after looking over everything again I notice I'm the only nonmasculine responder.

lol, not a guys only thread by any means.. Just happens that I'm a guy and all the rest that responded are guys or butch.. lol Thank you very much for your input on the subject!

[deeperstill]

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

I feel the same way.. I find it really hard to submit out of bottom/scene space.. I am always respectful, but something inside of me just refuses to bend" for just anyone.. Honestly, when someone *expects* me to bend just because of thier title, my respectometer goes down to about zero.. Maybe this is something I need to work on, maybe it isn't.. But, as I said, I am always respectful to whomever it is I'm meeting, in or out of the Scene.

TK,
respectfully, i do not think Dominants expect (or want) every sub or bottom to submit to them. They merely expect the same respect one ought to show anyone in play space or elsewhere. Unless it is a negotiated scene or relationship that is all a sub or bottom owes any "titled" person.

[TenderKnight]

deeperstill,

I should have clarified, not all Dominants expect this, but I have been around some people in the scene that *DO* expect it.. These are people that are not safe for *me* to be around, mainly because they use thier title and role to boost thier ego.. There are some that do this, and those are the folks that I am refering to. Mainly people that are new to the scene or just have issues that they have not resolved within themselves.

Most of the people that I *DO* hang out with in r/t that are in the scene don't act like this.. But there are some that name drop and use thier title or the people they know to try to impress others around them. Those are the people that I refer to. Most people that have my respect don't act like this.

Sorry if I seemed to make a broad generalization about Dom/mes.. That was not my intention, at all. Thank you for letting me clarify that.

In Light,
Tony