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Old 11-09-2009, 01:53 PM   #1
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While I have utmost respect for anyone's identity, whether it be Butch, Femme, Trans, or otherwise, personally I have not much use for a label.

It does become interesting at times as I often ask my friends, "what am I?" and most laugh. Maybe someone should come up with a non-specific gender/identity word to help describe us fellow out-of-box types.

I know I am non-heterosexual. Isn't that enough?
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:13 PM   #2
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While I have utmost respect for anyone's identity, whether it be Butch, Femme, Trans, or otherwise, personally I have not much use for a label.
i'm with you an this!

i couldn't say with any certainty that i am anything when it comes to gender/sexuality/orientation.

i *could be* damn near anything at any given time ... i like it that way
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:22 PM   #3
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[QUOTE=BatterUpBaby;2430]While I have utmost respect for anyone's identity, whether it be Butch, Femme, Trans, or otherwise, personally I have not much use for a label.

It does become interesting at times as I often ask my friends, "what am I?" and most laugh. Maybe someone should come up with a non-specific gender/identity word to help describe us fellow out-of-box types.

I know I am non-heterosexual. Isn't that enough?[/QUOTE]


If it's 'enough' for you, then yes, it's enough.

For me, it wouldn't be enough because I am way more than 'just' non-heterosexual. I earned my queer/femme stripes honestly and I'm proud to wear them on my sleeve.

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Old 11-09-2009, 02:28 PM   #4
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I just don't feel the need to wave the flag of my identity, whatever that is.

My point was not to say who earns or deserves whatever label they feel most comfortable with, but rather to find a good word to describe like-minded people as myself.
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:52 PM   #5
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I just don't feel the need to wave the flag of my identity, whatever that is.

My point was not to say who earns or deserves whatever label they feel most comfortable with, but rather to find a good word to describe like-minded people as myself.
and i don't care so much if there is an acceptable word or phrase for such like-minded individuals ... what i am hoping for is a sense of acceptance for us/them. to be able to mix and mingle with label-loving folk without an ever-present sense of our "otherness"

many times, i have found that my refusal to give people an easy way to classify me make them uncomfortable. i get that. but i'm not going wear a label that doesn't fit just for someone else's comfort
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:57 PM   #6
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I just don't feel the need to wave the flag of my identity, whatever that is.

My point was not to say who earns or deserves whatever label they feel most comfortable with, but rather to find a good word to describe like-minded people as myself.

I understood what you were saying. But you asked a question, and I answered.

If you feel that 'non-heterosexual' is enough for you, then that's great - why not use that label (because it is a label) when describing yourself?

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Old 11-09-2009, 02:59 PM   #7
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I don't have to wave a flag....I am obviously Butch at first glance and happen to have it tattooed on my body.

I came up with my own "label"...don't care if anyone likes it or not. I am me, and that is just how I want to be. My andro friends around here don't get it, they never will. Some of you might not get it....that's cool.

So, to label or not to label....it is your choice...
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:04 PM   #8
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Im a fairweather label user, and what I mean by that is it seems to me that categories are important for a lot of people, me not so much.

I feel personally that I am a Butch but I am also so many other things that to categorize myself seems limiting sometimes.

Sometime i really want to spit on labels and other times i claim them, what i do know is that life is mercurial and dynamic and im not a static person by any means.
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:07 PM   #9
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I don't have to wave a flag....I am obviously Butch at first glance
for you, Gin, this is truer than true! always has been

but it doesn't always work that way for all people ... people look at me in my feminine trappings, they may know that i am with a butch, and assume i am femme.

and they would be wrong.

i hear "of course you're femme! just look at you!"

grr ...

if i must be labeled, i already have one built in: donna
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:07 PM   #10
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and i don't care so much if there is an acceptable word or phrase for such like-minded individuals ... what i am hoping for is a sense of acceptance for us/them. to be able to mix and mingle with label-loving folk without an ever-present sense of our "otherness"many times, i have found that my refusal to give people an easy way to classify me make them uncomfortable. i get that. but i'm not going wear a label that doesn't fit just for someone else's comfort
And I don't blame you. I wouldn't either.

It's really no one's business but yours how you ID and if you feel that you're being pressured/discriminated against here because you refuse to ID one way or another, then I'm sure that the Admin would want to hear about it.

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Old 11-09-2009, 03:14 PM   #11
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And I don't blame you. I wouldn't either.

It's really no one's business but yours how you ID and if you feel that you're being pressured/discriminated against here because you refuse to ID one way or another, then I'm sure that the Admin would want to hear about it.

Words
no no, nothing like that has happened ... although i do have some concern and an eye for the future. i toyed with the idea of starting a thread similar to this for days ... i'm not gonna lie, i'm a little gun shy to initiate any heavy gender discussions. i'm glad BatterUpBaby did it
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:16 PM   #12
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I'm just me and I never liked labels either. All I know is that I love and adore feminine women. All shapes and sizes. They just knock my socks off.
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:17 PM   #13
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the tone of this site seems to be much more open to free thinking, i dont think anyone is going to send the thought police after them here...

it feels like people are not going to get smacked down for saying something they want to express or think or feel...not so much for other places unfortunatley
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:18 PM   #14
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mmmmmmm i love shapes and sizes...yum
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:27 PM   #15
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Default depends on where you're at and who you're with

when traveling in the world outside queer culture, labels don't really apply so much, do they?

personally, i'm fond of being called mister. i just like it. i gots a ton of labels, not any of them indicative of my sexual proclivities. i think w/in queer culture, it's used mostly as a marker for who's fair game for what. again, with polarities and binaries, eh?

some people in this world cannot find the box, let alone the outside of it. they need labels, billboards and some hand-holding. the key is that you're cool with who you are. anyone who isn't, probably isn't worth the time.
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:43 PM   #16
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i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:50 PM   #17
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i am unnaturally fond of Flavor Blast Goldfish crackers ... label me for that

Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

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Old 11-09-2009, 04:01 PM   #18
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Do they make you fart?

If they don't, then you're obviously a femme because everyone knows that femmes don't fart.

Seriously.

Words
hhahahahahahahahaaha!! NO!! and NO, missy!!
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Old 11-09-2009, 04:08 PM   #19
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okay, back to serious ...

for years, claiming 'femme' was very much a part of who i thought i was.

on other butch/femme sites (i don't feel the need to specify) i was that bitch who grilled non-label-lovers who came to the site claiming they didn't label themselves. "this site is for butches and femmes! if you don't identify, wtf are you doing here?! go find your own site, you ... you LESBIAN!" i didn't even realize my own need at the time to label them ... or even that i was doing it.

i was so wrapped up in how important my own label was to me that i didn't even listen to where they might have been coming from- i was blind to everything but what i perceived to be an attack on my own labeling of myself.

in light of the course of my own journey in recent years, i can see myself on the other side of that controversy. i probably deserve it ... (i really was a bitch)
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Old 11-09-2009, 04:10 PM   #20
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Well, since you're eating crackers made of poor little goldfish then you're obviously not a vegetarian, which rules out the possibility of your being a lesbian, (because everyone knows that lesbians only eat hummus and tabouleh), so...I have to wonder....

Do you only eat goldfish crackers or do you sometimes eat other types of crackers as well (in which case, you must be bi-sexual because everyone knows that bisexuals are indecisive and lack the ability to choose one type of cracker and stick with it)?

Well?

Words

Last edited by Words; 11-09-2009 at 04:12 PM. Reason: Oops, sorry, sorry your 'back to serious' post too late...
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