Ask a trans person!

[Bit]

Linus and Greyson, thank you both very much!

Originally Posted by Linus

Did the person in question know both of you before Nick began transition?

Linus, it always seems to be strangers... maybe Nick knows them but, I doubt it. It's really bad in restaurants and grocery stores.

Originally Posted by Greyson

Evening Bit. I am going to give your questions a shot. This has happened to me where I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. And, as a matter of fact it did seem to happen more often when I was in the company of femmes and other ladies.

Greyson, this is what I was wondering. Now I'm wondering if, in the company of men, Transmen might not have this strange situation... in other words, this thing which has always happened around me, this thing which somehow makes strangers think that any Butch I am with is my sister rather than my lover, is this "the-thing-which-makes-me-invisible-as-a-Femme" at work in yet one more way to make people "un-see" a Transman?

If it is, then I can finally understand the knee-jerk reaction some Transmen have had to the idea of staying in the community, and the insistence some Transmen have had on being with straight women rather than Femmes. It never made sense to me and I felt really hurt by the overwhelming way some guys rejected not just the community but also Transensual Femmes.

I never understood why the person who most wanted to support a guy would be the person he rejected... but if a Femme's very presence is enough to make strangers everywhere "un-see" a Transman's truth, it becomes clear why so many guys shy away.

Am I on the right track here? Or am I way out in left field?

I'm telling you, I have been SO TEMPTED to turn to these people in shock and say--as politely as I can, to educate not to blast--"why are you calling him a lady? We would prefer it if you said 'you guys' or 'you folks' please."

I refrain because it isn't my battle to fight, and I wouldn't do that to a guy without permission.

...........but omg I cringe, I cringe, I cringe.....