Building a Culture of Empathy

[mariamma]

I am on a spiritual journey and have been for many years. I'm a nurse by training and have a spirit guide whom I have known since I was 4. My journey has taken me from plant medicine, healing, astrology and tarot to care-giving, motherhood, nursing and the intersection of science and spirituality.
Everything we think/emote/do is because of hormones, neurotransmitters or other trace protein structures. One needs a certain hormonal balance to feel well-being, happiness, empathy, love, anger, psychosis, depression, the need to eat or pee, have sex, avolution (feeling a lack of desire to do anything) shame, pride, etc., etc., etc. This journey has brought me to learning about how people experience the energy of an emotion, hormones, perceptions, etc. (perceptions run mostly via serotonergic and dopaminergic neural network). It is all seen in animals as well since they can have the same hormones and neurotransmitters as humans.
Neuroendocrinology, neurobiology is an exciting and new area of research. It is terribly complex and convoluted. Most of the research is available online or in recent books.
This link is to a non-profit in California working towards raising consciousness about empathy and building a culture of empathy. Because this is an emotional process involving oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain and body (vasopressin and oxytocin are molecularly similar and often work together) it ends up being deeply spiritual and communal. I know others follow spiritual paths. I am curious how others experience emotions, perception, etc. etc. and how empathy works in our lives as women who have bore children or worked with children, or with animals, or with communities at large.
I do believe genders work with feelings differently because of how nature (genetic expression of hormones and neurotransmitters) and nurture (how our emotions guided us and were guided by our environment) works with in the human body, subgroups, and the global community.
Thank you in advance for whatever wisdom you have to share.

[mariamma]

http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/05...ync/39238.html
Went to facebook and a friend linked this to her page. Oxytocin in action!

[mariamma]

Another article on empathy. The author explains well how I feel most of the time.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...after-yourself

[Toughy]

Everything we think/emote/do is because of hormones, neurotransmitters or other trace protein structures.

I wish I knew why the above statement just irritates the bejesus out of me.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I wish I knew why the above statement just irritates the bejesus out of me.

I do irritate people with my blanket statements. Here is some of the science behind what I say.
Your adrenals make about 50 hormones, some being stress hormones, water balance and mineral balance hormones, the gender inducing hormones, etc http://www.safemenopausesolutions.co...fficiency.html
If you feel like a woman, you will have more estrogen than testosterone and vice verse. If you feel like you are both male and female, you probably have high amounts of both hormones.
http://www.twinspirittribe.com/page/page/4580470.htm
If you are schizophrenic, you have too much dopamine. You can have temp. schizophrenia with meth use or a parasitic infection
http://blog.neura.edu.au/2012/08/07/...mmatory-topic/
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0311085151.htm
If you are empathic, you are skilled at using oxytocin.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8WV1zAh9zU"]Mirror Neurons - YouTube[/nomedia]
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmEsGQ3JmKg"]mirror neurons part 2 - YouTube[/nomedia]
Serotonin engenders well-being and happiness.
http://raypeat.com/articles/articles/serotonin.shtml
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1...?dopt=Abstract
I can do a better job with explaining myself. I've just hear so much about this stuff on the radio that I assume everyone knows by now. There's a new study coming out every week on anxiety and GABA or ACTH, vasopressin and anxiety, etc., etc.
If you saw the previous links, they talk about oxytocin and empathy. Oxytocin also engenders bonding, trust, is a primary hormone involved with love, it is what you 'break' when you break a horse (as opposed to the more modern technique of gentle breaking). You break the horse's trust and get the horse to bond with the trainer (instead of dame or the herd). Dogs also have high oxytocin which is why dogs and horses are therapy animals. They help ADHD and autistic kids read and connect to others better.
I hope this answers anyone's questions. I know it's easier to believe I am a deluded crazy person. My lack of patience doesn't help. But there is a reason why I say and write about what I write about. I'm not pulling dreams out of thin air.

[Glenn]

Mariamma; I believe there are two roads we can go by to rewire and/or rebalance ourselves and our environment, and that is via meditation and medication. This faster paced industrial society creates much less empathy and utilizes more natural resources. We need to slow down. Deep meditation can slow down the breath and heart rate and help us to heal (along with medications)and consume less natural resources, and also raise the level of our spiritual energy. You know that the spiritual energy of one empath can raise the consciousness of many.

[mariamma]

Thank you for your observation Glenn. You are right. Meditation and medication CAN both work. I believe with meditation, one changes the hormonal balance without conscious intention. The intention is for clarity or peace of mind or returning to balance or homeostasis. The hormones and neurotransmitters (and the energy signatures they give off, these signatures are not measured by science but can be felt as Chi, Ki, prana or kundalini by spiritual practitioners) just end up getting balanced out and the person meditating feels a benefit.
Meditation generates more serotonin too. Serotonin is a light-generating molecule, has been on earth for 3 bil years and energetically brings spirit or the Light of God into a body. The word Namaste means "the light within me honors the light within you". I believe the word refers to the energy of serotonin.
I also believe theta brain wave state occurs (that meditative head space artists, musicians, dancers, etc. get into) and re-sets the brain and body hormonally. There is little science behind this YET people report 'feeling attuned' or a return to balance after being in theta brain wave state. In shamanism, this is the brain state you get into to connect with the Great Spirit/Source/God. People can independently learn how to heal in this state but it usually takes a teacher. Only serious bad-asses (Shaman) can figure it out without help. Maybe 1% of the population????
Oxytocin is amazing in that a person with high amounts will see a person with high amounts and energetically respond to that person. At first sight, they feel like "I've known you all my life". If one is going to bond with anyone, there will be oxytocin involved.
Medication CAN change the hormonal level in the body and brain. The person on the medication still has to figure things out and change one's mind-set. Medication does help to change the mind set but you still have to change the mind set. It can take months.
The non-profit I linked this thread to talking about rape and how it is representational of a culture and how it reveals a lack of empathy. Thing is, rape will often have more than 1 perpetrator at a time. There will be a connection between the groups of raping males. They will bond over rape, war, violence, etc. So building a culture of empathy is focused on what this all means.
The bonding that happens in life and with oxytocin, it happens mostly at birth. Oxytocin is what is released in order to deliver a baby. You will have the highest amount at birth (either being born or giving birth) then at orgasm, then with yoga, dance or hugs (it must be the muscle clenching. it's released when you stimulate nipples or clench uterus/prostate in orgasm).
I suspect raping males, warring or violent males have been broken (like one breaks a horse) and cannot bond appropriately. Mirror neurons in the brain makes one feel what another feels. You cannot SEE how you are hurting another if you are raping and enjoying raping. The mirror neurons are not working appropriately.
Off the topic of meditation and medication but salient nonetheless.

[Toughy]

I know the science of brain chemistry. Blanket statements in general irritate the bejesus out of me.

edited to add: my experience tells me that blanket statements about science will absolutely come back and bite you in the ass.

[mariamma]

a pdf on Practical empathy and sexual assault survivors. The author is dealing more with empathy in the acute phase but I like the 7 traits of empathy in action.
I see the kindness that they speak of as the action of estrogen. It also is integral maintaining a healthy and connected relationship.
http://www.cvcn.nl/wp-content/upload...mpathy-SSA.pdf

[Toughy]

I see the kindness that they speak of as the action of estrogen.

I think you have it backwards. I have to want to have empathy in order for estrogen to be produced. If I don't want to have empathy ain't no empathy estrogen gonna be produced.

[Ginger]

I guess I subscribe to the nature/nurture way of looking at things.

I think people have the amount of empathy they have, because of genetic, chemical or other physical elements (including the stuff you're talking about), but also because of how they were socialized and treated when they were infants and children.

That said, how do we go about Building a Culture of Empathy, as your thread is titled? it sounds like a wonderful goal, but I wouldn't know how to get it started.

[aishah]

some tools i have found helpful for learning more about how to practice empathy:
i thought it was just me and the gifts of imperfection by brene brown (her ted videos are also good if you don't have time to read her books, but her books are downright amazing)
non-violent communication - i haven't read the full book by rosenberg but i've read a lot of the free material about it online, and it's definitely worth checking out.
dialectical behavior therapy - also a lot of free information online. emphasizes mindfulness, interpersonal, and emotional regulation skills and stresses nonjudgmental, empathic communication in much the same way as nvc.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I guess I subscribe to the nature/nurture way of looking at things.

I think people have the amount of empathy they have, because of genetic, chemical or other physical elements (including the stuff you're talking about), but also because of how they were socialized and treated when they were infants and children.

That said, how do we go about Building a Culture of Empathy, as your thread is titled? it sounds like a wonderful goal, but I wouldn't know how to get it started.

This ..

I believe that if how we raise our sons changed then we'd have a bit of a less violent world. Teaching our male children differently to what they are being taught now would hopefully eliminate the hate culture towatds woman.

How we treat our young when they are in our care could change the balance.

[princessbelle]

I so agree with that as well....empathy depends on a huge amount of things. Some chemical some not.

If you took two totally diff people and subjected them to something very sad, to one it may be extremely unjust and affect them way different than the next one. Is that all chemically induced? Depends on how far you want to dissect it.

If you have a world where everyone was treated with hormones, the "right amount" of a feel good medication, you would have a world full of stepford people. Yuk.

Our experience, our cultures, the way we were raised, how we live our lives now and heck even how we feel that day depends on the level of empathy we bestow on our worlds....


IMO Empathy is a feeling that is subjective AND objective and it evolves at different times and with different degrees which is one of the primary ways we are all unique. Personally, I like it that way.

[aishah]

i think of empathy as a skill, personally. i believe some people are born with more of a predisposition to it than others (because of neurochemistry, etc.) and also that it's encouraged or discouraged by the environments we grow up in, so maybe some people are naturally more talented with it. but imho it is also something that can be learned and practiced. to me it's more than just a warm fuzzy emotional connection. the warm fuzzy emotional connection may happen because of a neurochemical reaction, and it may help us be empathetic and compassionate, but the neurochemistry alone doesn't teach us the skills we need to relate to other human beings with empathy and compassion.

the issue of how people react to difficult situations is also an issue of resilience. some people are more resilient than others. that's why some people cope better with trauma and stress. resilience is partly chemical and partly due to upbringing, but it can also be learned to some degree. and some aspects of resilience, like having a good support system, do require conscious action.

[nycfem]

On a micro level, how do we build a culture of empathy here on BFP?

One thought I have is that it is important when we post that we think that any member could be reading the post and how will they feel after reading it if they are, for example,

400 pounds
Chinese
Muslim
homeless
elderly
a parent of a differently abled child

etc. etc.

In other words, I think it's important to have empathy for every single member of our site by not assuming that everyone is like us and showing sensitivity towards readers we don't know anything about every time we post. This goes for posting a joke, a rant, or making a statement to all (i.e. considering whether it really fits "all").

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

I guess I subscribe to the nature/nurture way of looking at things.

I think people have the amount of empathy they have, because of genetic, chemical or other physical elements (including the stuff you're talking about), but also because of how they were socialized and treated when they were infants and children.

That said, how do we go about Building a Culture of Empathy, as your thread is titled? it sounds like a wonderful goal, but I wouldn't know how to get it started.

I believe you're perfectly right IslandScout. It does matter how you work with it. We are socialized to preform certain actions depending on the culture we were raised in. In Southern Africa, they have a spiritual concept of Ubuntu where they encourage sharing and communal living (ideally). I provided a link but it basically means 'I have because we have, if you have needs, then I have needs since we are One.' How they deal with empathy there is different than how Americans deal with it.
If dialogue comes out of this thread, then that's good. Not sure everyone in the world likes the idea of empathy or sharing. It's too hippie and new-aged for some. Too up close and personal for others. I do believe women who are mothers handle it differently since having a baby is a hugely emotional experience. I started this thread to share the idea Building a Culture of Empathy and also because I wanted to see how others feel/sense empathy and how they use it in their lives.
You always have a wonderfully simple and concise way of cutting to the meat of the matter IslandScout and I appreciate reading your observations. You often make me look at things in a different way.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by aishah

some tools i have found helpful for learning more about how to practice empathy:
i thought it was just me and the gifts of imperfection by brene brown (her ted videos are also good if you don't have time to read her books, but her books are downright amazing)
non-violent communication - i haven't read the full book by rosenberg but i've read a lot of the free material about it online, and it's definitely worth checking out.
dialectical behavior therapy - also a lot of free information online. emphasizes mindfulness, interpersonal, and emotional regulation skills and stresses nonjudgmental, empathic communication in much the same way as nvc.

Thank you for sharing Aishah. I had not heard about dialectical behavior therapy. *curtseys and does happy dance*

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

This ..

I believe that if how we raise our sons changed then we'd have a bit of a less violent world. Teaching our male children differently to what they are being taught now would hopefully eliminate the hate culture towatds woman.

How we treat our young when they are in our care could change the balance.

Yes, absolutely! Thanks for sharing.

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

On a micro level, how do we build a culture of empathy here on BFP?

One thought I have is that it is important when we post that we think that any member could be reading the post and how will they feel after reading it if they are, for example,

400 pounds
Chinese
Muslim
homeless
elderly
a parent of a differently abled child

etc. etc.

In other words, I think it's important to have empathy for every single member of our site by not assuming that everyone is like us and showing sensitivity towards readers we don't know anything about every time we post. This goes for posting a joke, a rant, or making a statement to all (i.e. considering whether it really fits "all").

Good point. I know I have an issue with bringing ALL my brain info to most situations. As the practical empathy pdf link revealed, being totally present and not bringing baggage into a therapeutic relationship is number 1 on that list of 7 requirements. You cannot effectively practice empathy if judging, measuring, being overwhelmed to the point of sympathizing.
This is something I know I need to be more mindful of. Thanks for your observation NYCfembbw. Loved your photo on the now closed thread btw. Your happy smile was the best part. You looked content.