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Old 06-17-2010, 04:04 PM   #3001
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I like riding the bus. Reminds me of NYC, which is where I wish I was right now.
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Old 06-17-2010, 07:18 PM   #3002
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There is just one thing i CANT get off my mind right now....

DADDY IS PACKIN'

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Old 06-17-2010, 07:27 PM   #3003
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My grandmother. I'd rather be with her than be here in this life.



My pencil drawing of her.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:06 PM   #3004
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Default News that's just sinking in...

At this moment...

News that my Aunts cancer was not removed by the mastectomy after all. It has made its way into her lymphatic system.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:11 PM   #3005
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there are reason i watch fluffy tv all the time. 5 minutes of the news and i wanted to throw bricks through the TV.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:51 PM   #3006
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Some simple yet profound words keep swirling about my head, dipping in and out of my subconsciousness and they feel right and I like that.
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Old 06-18-2010, 01:42 AM   #3007
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Default Curiousity just killed this friendship

Just curious,

What does it mean if someone says they will call you on Thursday, and on Thursday email you they are going to the races with friends after work, but when you check the race schedule you discover that the last race ended an hour before they email you.

What does it mean when the same someone tells you that their work schedule changed and they are now working 11am to 7pm, but the pre mentioned email you just received shows they got off work at 4 something, went to the races that are already done, and couldn't possible be there with their friends?

Just curious, does this mean i'm being LIED TO AGAIN?

Note to "he who is lying": Your "get out of the dog house" card has already been used....you only get one.
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Old 06-18-2010, 03:10 AM   #3008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
Some simple yet profound words keep swirling about my head, dipping in and out of my subconsciousness and they feel right and I like that.




Are they........."Bo is great"?
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Old 06-18-2010, 03:21 AM   #3009
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Quote:
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Are they........."Bo is great"?
LOVES that you are soooooooo modest lmao
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Old 06-18-2010, 04:10 AM   #3010
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Someone I care about really not feeling well today. I hate it when I can't make them feel better or take their aches and pains away. Thankful it's their Friday.
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Old 06-18-2010, 07:22 PM   #3011
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Quote:
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Are they........."Bo is great"?
Ummm, no. But thank you for playing!
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Old 06-18-2010, 10:57 PM   #3012
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How one evening can change your thought process.
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Old 06-18-2010, 11:14 PM   #3013
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I am really tired of having to hide at my job. I wish I could just be who I am, as I am instead of going through subterfuge. I wish my work culture was different and I REALLY wish the stakes were not so high. It won't be long now before I can go somewhere else so that even if I can't fly my freak flag high, I don't have to deny it's existence. Ugh
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Old 06-18-2010, 11:25 PM   #3014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet View Post
Someone I care about really not feeling well today. I hate it when I can't make them feel better or take their aches and pains away. Thankful it's their Friday.
I know, this is hard. A friend of mine is dealing with moving with arthritis and a knee that is giving her such grief. It hurts me when people I care about are having a rough time.

You are a good friend!
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Old 06-18-2010, 11:26 PM   #3015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Bo View Post
Are they........."Bo is great"?
Ah, what the hell.. Bo IS great!!!
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Old 06-18-2010, 11:36 PM   #3016
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today the hospital blocked this website for being vulgar.

inbetween morphine shots i may or may not have made the IT people suicidal. assholes.

see me? it worked. i'm posting.
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Old 06-18-2010, 11:50 PM   #3017
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I believe in forever, I've known it. Yet, we can't stop the flight of spirits that take it from us. We simply have to live knowing our every mortal moment is a gift we must nurture and give our heart permission to feel again. We can do this. We must do this to continue to be human.

I tire of laments of lost loves or being hurt. No one is immune from this. Nor from having your lover die. Grieve and heal, then open your senses again because there is something grand yet to be experienced. You (I) will regret not taking this chance.
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Old 06-19-2010, 12:47 AM   #3018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperFemme View Post
today the hospital blocked this website for being vulgar.

inbetween morphine shots i may or may not have made the IT people suicidal. assholes.

see me? it worked. i'm posting.
good for you!
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Old 06-19-2010, 12:52 AM   #3019
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-K is awesome. we have so much in common yay
-R is so adorable and I am glad she already feels comfortable with me.
-Tomorrow is going to be super busy w/Daddy, we have a bridal shower to go to THEN a birthday party :/ so exhausting.
-More D, please.
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Old 06-19-2010, 01:59 AM   #3020
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It seems lately I go through my days aching for sleep and then I get in bed and have zero desire or inclination to sleep at all. I seem just so wrapped up in anxiety and worry, and it seems somehow that I am half happy and half miserable most of the time. I wish I could take a tour of the minds and feelings of other people. I've lived so many years in various simultaneous moods. Heavy, dark, brooding - then light, peaceful, flexible, playful.

Sometimes I am so sure that I've always been myself, that I have a very solid sense of self - then, at times, it's hard to know what a self is at all. Things seem so so so defined at times, and then the lines all blur and all the paint runs together and there is nothing solid at all in this world. Sometimes my skin seems so real and so mine - then sometimes I look down at my arm and imagine it could just as easily belong to another person entirely. Sometimes, when I've been overdosing on meditation, this body of mine seems like clothing I've outgrown, and this whole world seems so far from where I am.

I have a friend who almost died once in the hospital. She says she encountered God that day. She says she knows she is supposed to live because he sent her back, but she yearns to return to Him.

I cannot say I've experienced similar, but there have been days this year where life has seemed like such a distant and unreal thing - where it seemed like light and connectedness was the real reality, the overwhelming reality.

My beautiful gf will be done soon with her summer class, and we are planning to spend our time indulging in whatever enjoyments we can squeeze in before it's time for her to return to school. I am going to be meeting her parents soon. She really is the most awesome person. She's just beautiful through and through. Her computer-programmer mind and her bee-stung lips and her knack for understanding inexplicable people and her melancholy eyes, her long legs, her freckles, the peace she carries with her, her military bearing, her sweet oval face and her proud forehead, her tomboy grace, her swan neck, her quiet and funny observations, her strange and charming drawl, her ethics. Well, and then there's a light shining from her somehow. She seems just made of moonlight and fire. I never could have imagined her before I met her, and when I met her, I was not looking for a new relationship, but she poured all that light and fire into me and it was such a balm to my troubled, troubled soul.

Last September, a friend told me what her father had told her about relationships. He said, "You know it's the right relationship when the two of you are better together than either of you are apart - when the sum adds up to more than the two of you alone." Having just come out of the opposite type of relationship - where no matter how much love there was between us, the relationship made us both less than we were individually - this little piece of advice was so timely. Hearing it gave me the chance to say to myself, "I want that."

And that's what I want still.
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