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Old 11-27-2017, 10:15 PM   #13621
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Mom's second chemo treatment tomorrow. I hope they can do it and it goes well.
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:05 PM   #13622
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Way too much..........
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Old 11-28-2017, 09:32 PM   #13623
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Default Bowties

I "met" a lovely kind butch on a dating site not too long ago. Well, we never met in real time but exchanged a few messages and then I kind of dropped off the site altogether for completely different reasons, but the first thing that caught my eye about that profile, was the bowtie this very handsome butch was wearing in a photo. It was kind of nerdy and hipster and cool and I liked it so much. I think more butches should wear a bowtie now and again. It's quite snappy.
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Old 11-28-2017, 09:45 PM   #13624
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Originally Posted by VintageFemme View Post
I "met" a lovely kind butch on a dating site not too long ago. Well, we never met in real time but exchanged a few messages and then I kind of dropped off the site altogether for completely different reasons, but the first thing that caught my eye about that profile, was the bowtie this very handsome butch was wearing in a photo. It was kind of nerdy and hipster and cool and I liked it so much. I think more butches should wear a bowtie now and again. It's quite snappy.
YES, I so agree!

In my younger day I could pull of the bow tie look rather nicely, however now that I'm older, not so much!
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Old 11-29-2017, 01:56 PM   #13625
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Default November is National Adoption Awareness Month

I'm not sure how I wasn't aware of this before today. I'm adopted; mine occurred in 1959 so it's very different than it might be today. My birth mother never saw me, my adoption records are sealed, and the only thing I knew about my birth parents was the demographic information the adoption agency was willing to provide. (As an aside, I was adopted through The Cradle, which still operates in Evanston, Illinois.) My brother was also adopted through this agency three years later.

There seems to be two kind of adopted kids. Those who have to know about their birth parents and those who have no curiosity whatsoever. I was the first type and my brother was the second. I have cousins who are adopted and he was the first type and she was the second.

When my birth mother and I finally connected, the only thing I needed from her was to hear her actually say she never wanted to give me up. I didn't need to be a part of her life. I didn't need to meet my two half sisters or my half brother. I didn't want another mother; my mother was more than enough for me. My mother, who had always been supportive of my wanting to get in contact with my birth mother, did a 180 when it became reality. My mother was so threatened by the idea of me having the ability to replace her, she became irrational about something she had previously supported. I guess we all have our innermost fears which may not be exposed unless they become reality.

And for those of you who know adoptees, our mom is the one who took us home. Our birth mom or biological mom is the one who gave us to our mom. I don't feel a need to identify my mom as the woman who raised me; when I say mom that's who I'm talking about. I would venture to say that that is true for 100% of adoptees.

And for those who believe the platitude "your parents chose you," the truthfulness of that is dependent on the time of the adoption. My parents didn't choose me; the adoption agency chose me for them. Somehow people think that "your parents chose you" makes you more special than those kids who joined a family via biological means. There isn't a competition between the two.

I hold women who are able to recognize that they cannot provide what they want their child to have and who are able to give their child to another person/couple to raise in the highest esteem. I cannot imagine doing that. My birth mother's solution to having given away her child was to believe I was a still birth. She thought the adoption agency went through with having her sign the paperwork so she wouldn't have to know her baby was dead. The social worker at The Cradle said this is actually not unusual. It doesn't stop the birth mother from thinking about you on your birth date, but it does prevent constant wonderings about how you are and what you're doing.

Lastly, I could never understand why people thought my mom and I looked alike. She was a brunette with hazel eyes and a tanned complexion. I'm blond with blue eyes and a fair complexion. We did look alike - our facial expressions were identical. I learned to roll my eyes from her. We looked alike and nothing alike. Proof positive people see past the obvious differences to find the similarities.
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Old 11-29-2017, 07:34 PM   #13626
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Femmewench,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Best Wishes,
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Old 11-29-2017, 08:05 PM   #13627
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that I need to call an old friend whom I've not communicated with in months ... she shared something deeply personal with me ... I gave her my opinion and that was not to beat herself over the head about it ... and do not take any action yet or if ever - just to be careful because I did not think she would like the consequences if she took action and I knew for a fact it was something terribly out of character for her ... this is a straight femme friend, a good soul, I have known almost 2 decades, not that it matters ... btw, it is recovery related, not that that it matters either

It is about being honest ... I loosely quoted our literature by saying to her "except when to do so would harm others ... " She has admitted it to god, to herself and to another human being (me) ... I think anything more with this particular one would be overkill and bring on significnt undesirable consequences.

This woman has been sober years and years and years ... I have always thought her to be a perfectionist. Sometimes one does not need to be perfect --->>> only employ a little common sense.

I pass.
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Old 11-30-2017, 09:34 AM   #13628
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My spouse going blind from her Macular Degeneration.
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Old 11-30-2017, 09:36 AM   #13629
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Originally Posted by Gayandgray View Post
My spouse going blind from her Macular Degeneration.
((((((((((((( you & your spouse )))))))))) I am soo sorry , must be hard to watch.
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Old 11-30-2017, 05:12 PM   #13630
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((((((((((((( you & your spouse )))))))))) I am soo sorry , must be hard to watch.
Thank you. Yes it is so sad to see her lose more of her vision every day. The Retina Specialist had originally told us that she would not go totally blind, that she would still see shadows and stuff. But she is losing it fast. The blind association had given her special magnifying glasses and screen for the tv, “bump” dots for the microwave, etc, and that helped some. She is very depressed but refuses to take the antidepressant our doctor offered because she said she takes enough medicine now.
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Old 11-30-2017, 06:53 PM   #13631
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Default gayandgray

I am sincerely sorry this is happening to your spouse.
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Old 12-15-2017, 11:32 AM   #13632
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My Mom died a year ago today.

My head keeps replaying the last few months of her life - the fall, the hospitalization, the rehab, the assisted living, and finally the hospice.

My heart says watch the home movies, flip thru the photo albums, remember the good times.

My emotions are all over the place.


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Old 12-15-2017, 03:08 PM   #13633
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Originally Posted by Kobi View Post

My Mom died a year ago today.

My head keeps replaying the last few months of her life - the fall, the hospitalization, the rehab, the assisted living, and finally the hospice.

My heart says watch the home movies, flip thru the photo albums, remember the good times.

My emotions are all over the place.


(((((((( kobi )))))))))) I wish I could tell you that the emotions all over the place goes away but it doesn't ~ you just learn to cope. Every Sept. 1st I still cry like it was that day ~ I stay to myself and reflect, I was her care giver and all the days, weeks before her demise all plays back in my mind. I know you and your mom were very close . Just think of happy she would be looking at you at Christmas time happy that you have someone new in your life
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Old 12-16-2017, 12:56 AM   #13634
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How my ex is going to react when she sees me for the first time in 3 months, I am going to be wearing a binder. I am kinda looking forward to her reaction but at the same time, kinda stressing over it.
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Old 12-16-2017, 11:16 AM   #13635
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How commercialized Christmas has become over the years.
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Old 12-16-2017, 12:56 PM   #13636
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On my mind: I spilled 1/3 bottle of lavender essential oil on the arm of my giant chair and it’s putting off some intense fragrance and chill vibes.

I don’t mind
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Old 12-16-2017, 01:12 PM   #13637
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gayandgray View Post
How commercialized Christmas has become over the years.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-18-2017, 09:07 AM   #13638
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I am feeling very anxious.

I'm sitting here waiting to have a mammogram done.

My anxiety is completely irrational, I know it is, but I'm still a wreck.

My mom died when I was a kid. She died at age 41 from leukemia. So many people used to tell me how I was "just like her." They were trying to be comforting.

Unfortunately in my little kid head that got a bit twisted. I came to believe I was also going to die in my 40s from cancer.

See what I mean about irrational?

I know intellectually it's not true, and yet every time I have a test done my anxiety sky rockets until I get the results back.

So I'm sitting here focusing on my breathing and waiting my turn.
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Old 12-18-2017, 09:18 AM   #13639
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Friday and im anxious about getting my binder in today....
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Old 12-19-2017, 06:32 PM   #13640
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What the doctor told me yesterday.

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