Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[Sachita]

I have been having amazing dreams lately about this. There is a person in my dreams but I can't see hys face.

I have dreams and fantasies of someone kneeling in front of me with adoring eyes. Not because I require hym to but because hy knows it comforts me. Hy really enjoys spoiling me... fixing me healthy food, feeding me, bringing me coffee and even washing my hair. Hy wants my world to be perfect. I adore hym because of this.

I'm not sure I could be in a standard BF relationship again. Its not that I want or even expect someone to be my slave but to understand and address my core needs. That primal essence I call Goddess within me. The masculine aspect of my nature that wants to project aggression and penetrate hys very existence.

I miss this in Wanton boi- the adoration, the service, the whole entire dynamic but I don't miss the craziness and all the drama. I hope one day to find this again in a secure, sane and loving relationship.

[Sachita]

Female led relationships- IMO are sexual, spiritual and emotional. A femdom dynamic that is infused with magic. Adoration, service and worship of the divine feminine within a Domina (or whatever you choose to call this essence in you)
The right connection can raise my vibration to unreal levels. I feel alive and connected to the universe. The wrong connection drains me and although I am a strong and capable woman, I need to be inspired, adored and appreciated for all that I am. If you are lucky enough to see me in this space you'll witness a seductive and magical energy. The simplest movements are infused with power and light.

lol- yes I am rambling. I'm probably lonely and needing to talk about this. I wonder how people perceive all this. Perhaps if you are lurking you can jump in and tell me. I'm especially interested to hear from people not into femdom relationships and how they look at a butch-femme dynamic that includes female domination.

[Sachita]

I've been thinking..... lol I think a lot about this as I re-evaluate my life. The many chapters I've lived and how I arrive at this place today. There is no doubt that I don't fit into the typical butch-femme dynamic. Even though I'm attracted to masculinity and there are parts of the BF dynamic I really love and other parts I can do without.

So I stepped out of the femdom world i was living in, one that was quite refined and totally 24/7. I'm not even sure why. I was hoping to somehow blend my desire for BF with my femdom world or meet in the middle. It was exciting stepping into another world, almost like role-play. lol I was digging it but there were times it seriously ruffled my feathers. I just don't fit into a domestic role. I'll never forget a butch I dated who scoffed at the idea of me having a maid. And who refused to help me cook or clean. Needless to say that didn't last long. None of them last long. yet each time I would sit down, look them straight in eyes and explain what type of woman I am. My standards are high, I am feminine, seductive, smart, picky and I need to be spoiled and adored. I'm thinking that they never got that manual because they were all clueless.

Snow posted something:

" I think the whole none approachable is a stigma that comes from sexism because there are people that can't handle a Femme/Woman/Female Power source"

I don't know if this is always the case but I do feel that a lot of butches have a strong longing to fully express their masculinity. They've fought so hard to identify that they clasp onto traditional hetro relationship values. But what a lot of people don't see, beyond the facade, is how the essence of femininity truly does lead in one way or another. Women have power in so many ways and its up to them to cultivate and learn how to use it constructively. That arm candy that seems plumb dumb isn't as dumb as you think. Sure he might be spitting out the words and appear in control but she has him wrapped around her finger.

I'm getting off point lol

anyhow I encounter a butch who spent some time with me after she had broken up with a GF. She lived in my house for an extended visit trying to get her shit together and perhaps remain with me. It was perfect. It was romantic and yet she was suzie homemaker in a masculine body. She waited on my hand and foot, cooked, cleaned, massages, wonderful conversation and we spent hours talking. I was careful to keep an arm's distance because I knew she was just out of a relationship. To make a long story short she did leave and did end up back with the ex. I was crushed.

I enjoy being the bread winner, so to speak. I enjoy having a butch who enjoys taking care of our home, cooking, cleaning, spoiling me and isn't threatened if I feel sexually aggressive. I don't want to pretend that I';m not kinky. At the same time I don't want to feel like I'm fulfilling/servicing someone's sexual fantasies. Does that make sense? I've had people come to me who were purely curious about submission or seeking sessions from an experienced top. I'm not here for that. It needs to be able me.

So I'm wondering how many butches out there feel comfortable being a house butch and allowing the woman to truly lead the course of the relationship. I see it all around me even when they pretend they don't. I'm just wondering how many enjoy it and are proud to be in that space.

just sharing some thoughts and processing a lot inside. I have decided that this will be the only relationship I will allow myself to have. I am seeking a boi/butch who will be my awesome little fag/June Clever, sometimes daddy, sometimes butler, sometimes just intelligent human. Hmm maybe even two? Oooo maybe a boi and girl? lol my mind is wandering now.

[Soft*Silver]

I am re-visiting this thread, after having been away for a few months from it.

My submissive and I are doing well together. He is obedient, faithful, loyal,and correct in all his services and adoration to me. I have no complaints whatsoever. In fact, this is the easiest relationship I have ever been in. I have my limits, he honors them. And serves fully up to them.

I take care of my own house. He often stays with me but has his own residence. I am the Suzy Homemaker, making dinners, baking, cleaning. When I can. When I cant, he steps in and does it all. His service isnt to replace a spouse or be a maid nor to butler me. Though, often, he does. When needed. Otherwise, I need my independence.

He would never change the dynamics nor push the boundaries, nor dishonor me by presenting himself to me in any fashion other than as a stable, workable person.

He offers me his emotions, his love, his caring. I am tended to well. I also tend to him well. I give him back what he needs from a Mistress.

We have incredible conversations. His intellect is astounding. Gifted intellectually, he can converse on about any subject. I learn much from him. He loves to hear my points of view and we smile as we heatedly debate on different topics.

THIS is how life is suppose to be in a Femme led relationship, for me anyway. I no longer want to struggle. I dont need to be the one working so hard that my heart hurts and my brain feels unwired. I have had it with relationships that were cruel in their hoaxes and empty heartshells of affections. What I have now is real. And what my life was suppose to be defined as. I do not blame anyone in my past for my sorrows, except myself. As a strong Femme, I KNEW. I acknowledge that I KNEW I was forcing the round peg into the square hole, with the past decade of relationships. The only way it fit is if parts of me were shaved off and forced into places I never should have gone, had I been true to myself.

But then is Then and now is Now and I am happy. Could I be in love with this person eventually? Yes. But thats another topic. And not for one right now. For now, I am doing well in this relationship as it is.

[Sachita]

hey there Ms Tia, nice name!

I know what you're saying. I think its about female priorities regard;ess of how that manifest in a relationship. We evolve with a relationship and the cool thing is that as long as we identify our innate power and find a counterpart thats all that really matter. We each have our own needs and what we expect out of a relationship. It seems that you have found your comfort zone with this man and thats all that really matters.

I personally am not a Susie Homemaker type but it doesnt mean I can't treat some sub special and pamper her/hym. I often cook and flutter about my home in a ultra femme manner, however its a choice and not an expectation. I prefer my sub boi to be domestically attentive and adoring in a pseudo feminine way even if hy is butch or even masculine. It's a ying yang thing. The most important, for me, is that hy follows my direction and isn't afraid to bend the rules to please me. in fact hy enjoys the pendulum swinging!

I am happy for you. You seem peaceful, fulfilled and in your zone. Kudos to you.

[Soft*Silver]

I am very territorial about my home and my kitchen especially. I have a need to maintain my own territory and am good at it. I enjoy his care when I am down, but then it is out of need, not contractual purpose. I am pampered in many ways, but I dont need to be gluttonous of frivolities to feel Mistressy, but thats me. I see a distinction in my household than yours. We are just different, with different needs. Good luck with yours.

[DapperButch]

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