Talk to me about hair.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

So I happen to be a Femme Top I've had my hair short and long and not once during my short hair trial was I having "Tweener Butch Tendencies"

I'm not sure what that really means or implies perhaps you could shed a light on what you mean?

I personally find your post to be WRONG, SEXIST and LACKING EDUCATION regarding gender appropriation.

[justkim]

Wow, simply Wow!
I have short hair and I don't think it makes me masculine...
Hair doesn't make the woman...
I cut my hair short as it is easier to manage since I have tons of it...
I probably handle power tools better than most, does that make me less than?
Does that mean someone will show up and take my femme card away?
Pretty sad that you associate someone's hair length with how femme they are or aren't.
It is comments like that that make me sick... nothing but assumptions...

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

Why? Maybe because it's their hair and their heads?

Your views are narrow, but I'm glad to see that you are able to see that for yourself.

The length of someone's hair does not denote their procivities in one way or another.

Again, it's their hair and they can do whatever they want with it be it braid it, shave it, flatten it, curl it, or cut it. You, as someone whose hair is not in question, do not have any say in the matter as it is not your hair and your head.

I hope I've helped clear up some of your confusion.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Better yet how about you don't roll up into The FEMME Zone with that kind of sexist shit.

That would be AWESOME!

[willow]

My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[justkim]

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?

Originally Posted by flutter

My hair has been long, longer, short, very short, curly, straight, half shaved/half long and every style and colour combination imaginable. At no point was I more or less femme than I am now because that's who I am and who I have always been.

Last weekend I was mixing cement in a bucket to fill in rat holes and at the same time having a minor melt down because I couldn't find the shade of eye shadow (pink but not toooo pink) that I wanted.

Our hair doesn't make us who we are, any of us. It is my pleasure to know, very well, one damn fine butch with long hair I hope this helps you LuckyButch.

p.s. I have since found the eye shadow (I didn't want anyone losing sleep over that). Crisis over! lol

[Julie]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

This Femme has been completely bald... Crew Cut and now, I just wear it really very short.

This entire post from you... Makes me want to show you what a FEMME TOP I am and beat your sorry bottom butch ass.

How dare you come in here with your misogynistic sexist and narrow minded view - In the FEMME ZONE?

Julie

[UofMfan]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

I am both appalled and disappointed by this post.

Leads me to wonder if 1982 is your birth year, but even so that is no excuse. My son was born on that year and I must tell you he would never even think, let alone express, such narrow minded thoughts. Besides 30 is not that young.

In this day and age I expect more from the younger generation. I think you need to step back and do some real processing and think real hard about what some wonderful women have replied about your post.

Perhaps even come back and apologize for your sexist, misogynistic, narrow minded and ignorant opinion.

[Novelafemme]

Oh dear. I am guessing that you were asserting your preference for femmes with long hair and inadvertently (I hope) inserted your foot into your mouth. Again, I hope.

For me, like Julie, I have had a shaved head, super long hair, medium length, short, and pretty much everything in between.

When it's long I wear it up in an Audrey Hepburn type of do. It was starting to get very thin on top from years of being pulled back, so when my partner and I both went through cancer last year, I went short. And I love it! I'm honestly not sure I will ever grow it long again!

My femininity has nothing to do with my outward appearance and everything to do with who I am inside. Am I any less femme because I can do the same work (and sometimes harder AND better) a masculine identified person can? Um, that would be no.

This is so not the place for heteronormative, misogynistic stereotypes.

[willow]

Originally Posted by justkim

Flutter so glad you found the shade of *Pink* you were looking for...
Did you get the rat holes filled in?

I did get the holes filled in. And, next weekend I'll fill in the new ones

[kittygrrl]

I would do a semi-permanent dark blue on hair at the nape of the neck (maybe a quarter of your crown) so it peaks out..that's hot right now..and it'd look amazing also..but it will wash out, so you don't have to live with it if you get tired of it. I'd leave it long in back & do something dramatic with in front but that's just me.

[Random]

Originally Posted by LuckyButch-1982

Some femmes cut their hair short/very short,why?
Maybe my mind was narrow,because I thought short hair was a masculine sign.
If a femme cut her hair very short,she probably had tweener/butch tendencies,or she was a top femme.
I hope I was wrong.
But I am still confused,why some femmes cut their hair short/very short?

I call it hair liberation and for me it is a deliberate act...

Why I cut my hair...

I cut my hair because I can..

I cut my hair because my being butch or femme does NOT depend on how I might look or present, but how I feel inside.

I use clippers on my hair because I love extremes and stepping out of any box that the world might put me in...

I cut my hair so I can grow it back out again, so I can shave it all off... It's a three year cycle..

I shave my hair off because attitudes like yours made me feel like I was less than if I cut my hair....

I can't allow that..

[Random]

Originally Posted by justkim

Wow, simply Wow!
I have short hair and I don't think it makes me masculine...
Hair doesn't make the woman...
I cut my hair short as it is easier to manage since I have tons of it...
I probably handle power tools better than most, does that make me less than?
Does that mean someone will show up and take my femme card away?
Pretty sad that you associate someone's hair length with how femme they are or aren't.
It is comments like that that make me sick... nothing but assumptions...

Kim...

So, if I wear a skirt while mixing concrete, think my femme card is safe?

[justkim]

Random, I would like to think that your femme card is safe or anyone else's for that matter. We all brings something beautiful to the table so to speak. Rock it!

Originally Posted by Random

Kim...

So, if I wear a skirt while mixing concrete, think my femme card is safe?

[Nurse Darlin]

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[nycfem]

Makes me think of the saying, "If God wanted people to be gay, God would have made Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve."

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

I have never had short hair, nor have I ever had the desire to. I think long flowing hair is beautiful on a femme and perfect to run fingers through! My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

[aishah]

wow. why is it that people associate long hair with being female? i mean -that is biologically essentialist and somewhat transmisogynist on top of being really upsetting in general.

personally i am femme and have had long hair, short hair, and shaved (bald) hair. because my hair is super thick, frizzy, and dry, i prefer it either long or bald - currently it's long. but i was no less femme when i was bald...and actually it was emotionally and physically an extremely affirming thing for me as a femme when i did go bald. specifically because my whole life people have attached so much meaning to my hair and i've felt a lot of pain and pressure because of it - shaving allowed me to let go of a lot of that bullshit.

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

i henna my hair using body art quality henna powder mixed with lemon juice, and i use coconut oil to make it more manageable. i've never used chemical dyes over henna but if the henna and the chemical dyes are both good, your hair shouldn't fall out. however, because henna binds to the hair unlike chemical dyes (it's reallllllly permanent), you may have some weird color reactions if you try to dye over it. that's why i usually don't recommend henna to folks who are really into getting specific color results or who use chemical dyes a lot.

[Beloved]

Originally Posted by Nurse Darlin

My opinion is that long hair is a girly thing. I have 3 daughters all whom have long hair. At one point or another, one of them have said they wanted to cut their hair short. I have told them, if God wanted me to have little boys, he would have gave me little boys, not little girls. This is my opinion only...and to each his/her own!

I am sure this wasn't your intention, but this "opinion" may come across as insensitive to some here. And it's kind of surprising to me to find this opinion on a butch-femme-genderqueer forum. Lots of butch women/trans were forced to wear dresses, have long hair, and the like. Gender is fluid and if your daughters are truly "girly" short hair can never take that away from them. And if they are not girly, it's better to let them be whoever they are. I don't usually get into the God thing, but since you did, God made everyone and there is a great variation in gender and gender expression and I am soooo glad for that! Without it the butch/femme dynamic wouldn't exist.

Have a happy 4th.

[KayCee]

Originally Posted by aishah

but then again, a lot of folks might not think i'm femme enough since i wear jeans and t-shirts pretty often, too.

Is there even such a thing? femme enough?

I used to have thick long hair, wavy and if I let it air dry it was full of curls. Many people complimented me on it. But due to an ailment I had to let it get cut off and wear it shorter now...and feel no less femme than I have before with long hair...and it goes and looks good with ANY clothes I choose to wear.


If someone would automatically consider me being butch because I have shorter hair I would feel insulted. Not that being a butch is something wrong..of course not (I looove butches...lol)...but it's just not ME.

Personally I despise this whole stereotype 'put in a box thing'..like first sight..'ah..you belong in that box or the other'....or 'oh...she has long hair, must be a femme then'....

And what about bio men who like to wear long hair? Are they femmes too?..lol..no, but seriously:

Nothing (hairdo, type clothes, make up or not, toolbox in the hand or not...lol) can 'change' me or make me feel less femme than what I am truly inside!

[Nurse Darlin]

My apologies for seeming insensitive. I guess I should just insert foot into mouth and lower my head. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.