Femmes Who Strap <3 - Page 5

TruTexan · 03-05-2015, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedreamerin

I'm an old soul, don't I know it? The new things are a bit awkward for me at first. However, if I am paired with someone that has the patience and willingness to take on the challenge of my sexual naiveté, well I think we could have a ton of fun. It's about trust. I've never been strapped or given it... My first response to the initial question was "me? Strap? HELL NO" and not because it is in any way disgusting it is just, hmm, I think I would need to understand the body of my lover more to be comfortable enough to wield a device and offer pleasure.
There is a popular trend these days where women are looking for women who are experienced, and can 'throw down' so to speak. That is all good I am sure, but the reality is that not everyone is at that champion gold metal level yet. That doesn't mean that the sex can't be good or even fantastic. I think it's just seldom is anyone willing to take the time to 'become' the better lover...
Now I have ranted, my apologies!
All of that wording and I just wanted to say this. I am shy of trying the strap as a femme, but if she wanted it, and was willing to have some patience with me, I'd give it a try.

I gotta love your attitude ! You go girl! Enjoyed reading your post. Woot ! Woot ! Woot!

bright_arrow · 03-05-2015, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedreamerin

I'm an old soul, don't I know it? The new things are a bit awkward for me at first. However, if I am paired with someone that has the patience and willingness to take on the challenge of my sexual naiveté, well I think we could have a ton of fun. It's about trust. I've never been strapped or given it... My first response to the initial question was "me? Strap? HELL NO" and not because it is in any way disgusting it is just, hmm, I think I would need to understand the body of my lover more to be comfortable enough to wield a device and offer pleasure.
There is a popular trend these days where women are looking for women who are experienced, and can 'throw down' so to speak. That is all good I am sure, but the reality is that not everyone is at that champion gold metal level yet. That doesn't mean that the sex can't be good or even fantastic. I think it's just seldom is anyone willing to take the time to 'become' the better lover...
Now I have ranted, my apologies!
All of that wording and I just wanted to say this. I am shy of trying the strap as a femme, but if she wanted it, and was willing to have some patience with me, I'd give it a try.

Trying it on by one's self is entirely different from wearing one with/for a lover, just a small thing to remind yourself when you're standing in front of a mirror thinking how foolish you find yourself looking (these may have been my first thoughts). Patience and the ability to laugh during sex I find are also very important. Don't be afraid to speak up and say "I/We need to do this to make it better/more enjoyable/etc." Chances are your partner will go right along. Is it sex after all, and who doesn't want to enjoy it?

thedreamerin · 03-07-2015, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bright_arrow

Trying it on by one's self is entirely different from wearing one with/for a lover, just a small thing to remind yourself when you're standing in front of a mirror thinking how foolish you find yourself looking (these may have been my first thoughts). Patience and the ability to laugh during sex I find are also very important. Don't be afraid to speak up and say "I/We need to do this to make it better/more enjoyable/etc." Chances are your partner will go right along. Is it sex after all, and who doesn't want to enjoy it?

You are exactly right. I will keep that in mind.

Tuff Stuff · 08-17-2015, 10:43 PM

Hummm,thinking...no,not for me.But i'll tell y'all what,i like to watch femmes,lesbians,women,men,strap it on and watch 'em pleasure their partners,seeing as i'm so big into voyeurism and all.

Not a crime...hey,i always ask permission to watch!

yeaah right,prove it!!

jools66 · 08-19-2015, 09:54 AM

Hi everyone,
This is a brilliant subject.
If I had to label myself, it would be maybe as a soft butch.
But labelling is not something I care for.
Having been someone who as strapped, and who has been on the receiving end to, I have to say I really enjoy both.
To me its about what the other person likes and how it makes them feel as much as my own needs and desires to.
I would like to think that a person I choose to have a relationship with would be open to new experiences.
Even if it was to try it once.
Having said that, I would never make someone do anything that they absolutely didn't want to do.
I have felt ashamed on occasions for bringing up the subject of me wanting to strap for someone who was more butch than me.
This I found a very uncomfortable feeling, and their negative reaction prompted me to never talk about it ever again with them.
This felt like I had to hide what I really wanted and I felt restricted.
I truly felt by their reaction that I was less of a woman somehow.
That it wasn't my place to ask for what I needed and wanted.
I had my role, and it wasn't to be deviated from.
The consequences of this reaction was that I really feel with future lovers, that its a should I ask for it or not dilemma.
This is something that you shouldn't have to even need to repress.
But yet you feel ashamed to request it because of a negative reaction.
My first gf wasn't even bothered about me strapping, she liked it, and l liked her doing it to.
We should all be able to feel free enough to explore new things with the person we are with.
Its just hard to know what their judgement of you will be if its something that you have never approached before, even if you think you know that person pretty well.
And sometimes its just embarrassing and intimidating to bring the subject up if your not that confident.
And this shouldn't be the case in this day and age, but sadly its still a reality.
For me personally, well I have now come to terms with the fact that I'll be damned if I am not able to say and ask for what I want.
Is just a question of approaching it in a comfortable way so that the other person doesn't feel like they are under pressure to do it, or to think that if they don't its going to be a major issue.
I am interested to know more about this femme cock topic that so many of you are talking about.
Please enlighten me.
Great post btw

DapperButch · 08-19-2015, 10:07 AM

I talk about what I like in bed even before the first date if I think I am going to like the person. For me though this is about being Stone. I tell them what that means for me (my boundaries) at the first date if I think things are going to go somewher. I would have no interest in dating somebody who isn't sexually compatible. So, if you decide that strapping is a "need to have" in your sexual relationships, then only date those people. Things get complicated if you don't tell people prior to getting attached.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jools66

Hi everyone,
This is a brilliant subject.
If I had to label myself, it would be maybe as a soft butch.
But labelling is not something I care for.
Having been someone who as strapped, and who has been on the receiving end to, I have to say I really enjoy both.
To me its about what the other person likes and how it makes them feel as much as my own needs and desires to.
I would like to think that a person I choose to have a relationship with would be open to new experiences.
Even if it was to try it once.
Having said that, I would never make someone do anything that they absolutely didn't want to do.
I have felt ashamed on occasions for bringing up the subject of me wanting to strap for someone who was more butch than me.
This I found a very uncomfortable feeling, and their negative reaction prompted me to never talk about it ever again with them.
This felt like I had to hide what I really wanted and I felt restricted.
I truly felt by their reaction that I was less of a woman somehow.
That it wasn't my place to ask for what I needed and wanted.
I had my role, and it wasn't to be deviated from.
The consequences of this reaction was that I really feel with future lovers, that its a should I ask for it or not dilemma.
This is something that you shouldn't have to even need to repress.
But yet you feel ashamed to request it because of a negative reaction.
My first gf wasn't even bothered about me strapping, she liked it, and l liked her doing it to.
We should all be able to feel free enough to explore new things with the person we are with.
Its just hard to know what their judgement of you will be if its something that you have never approached before, even if you think you know that person pretty well.
And sometimes its just embarrassing and intimidating to bring the subject up if your not that confident.
And this shouldn't be the case in this day and age, but sadly its still a reality.
For me personally, well I have now come to terms with the fact that I'll be damned if I am not able to say and ask for what I want.
Is just a question of approaching it in a comfortable way so that the other person doesn't feel like they are under pressure to do it, or to think that if they don't its going to be a major issue.
I am interested to know more about this femme cock topic that so many of you are talking about.
Please enlighten me.
Great post btw

jools66 · 08-19-2015, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I talk about what I like in bed even before the first date if I think I am going to like the person. For me though this is about being Stone. I tell them what that means for me (my boundaries) at the first date if I think things are going to go somewher. I would have no interest in dating somebody who isn't sexually compatible. So, if you decide that strapping is a "need to have" in your sexual relationships, then only date those people. Things get complicated if you don't tell people prior to getting attached.

Hi dapper,
You are way more confident and know who you are than some other people.
Some people like myself would not be so confident to bring this kind of subject up with someone on a first date.
I would never approach that subject until I knew the person, but seeing what you wrote has given a new perspective on things.
Your approach is less complicated, and honest.
Maybe it cuts all the wasted time out, but I have to wonder if by doing this you may lose a potential good friend in the long term.
If you get along with that person and you bring this up, and you said no this is what I like and that's it, you may alienate someone who would become a very cherished important person to you.
This is just my way of thinking, but again dapper, I can see that your point of view makes sense to

Daisy Chain · 08-19-2015, 05:02 PM

Gosh.....where to start..?

So many points I can think of.

OK, in no particular order. I agree with Dapper in that I think its important to know what each others wants, needs, likes, dislikes, boundaries and deal breakers are in the bedroom..{or over the kitchen table etc etc..}. It would be pretty soul destroying to date/interact for any length of time, grow close to someone and have hopes of being together only to discover that sexually you were incompatible. For me it wouldnt have to be on or before the first date but fairly soon after.

In a personal reflection.....and with respect this is specific to me...as an old school Femme....I am often expecting {and happily so..no martyrdom here} that there is a fair chance the Butch I was drawn to may be stone. And can see a stone Butches need to make this clear from the get go, the same as a stone Femme would/may want to also. I myself would not claim being stone as a label...I am fluid with this. I am stone if my partner requires it, it is of no major importance to me either way. There is a whole wonderful world of pleasure out there to be enjoyed in many many ways is my point here.

For me personally, I have never, nor wish to strap. I am certain it would feel completely alien to me. Equally, for Femmes who enjoy to, I celebrate and support your choice to.

What I think is of real importance is knowing you have the absolute right to feel able to say that something is either very important to you to have in a relationship or that something is unacceptable. Please dont ever let anyone shut you down in stating your personal preferences.

As for thinking you may loose a potential good friend in the process. Wouldn't such straightforward honesty be a firm building block in the beginning of a friendship ? And if you were to be `only friends` after testing the water on a romantic level it should make no difference to that friendship at all what the details of each others sexual tastes are.

Be true to yourself and proud of who you are, whether that be a stone Butch, strapping Femme, a switch or any of the many many other identities we may or may not be at any given time on our journeys, with or without any given partner.

Thank you for reigniting this interesting topic.

Daisy

Poss · 11-30-2015, 03:56 AM

me wearing a strap-on!

As I read through this thread, a nagging thought kept popping up 'GET ME OUT OF HERE!' I'm glad I didn't because this is a topic being discussed between my partner and I at the moment.

Neither of us have ever had anything to do with them before. I don't know what the concept of 'packing' means or a woman having a 'hard on' is. What I do know is, that since my partner and I started talking about them; my partner is more and more frequently coming up behind me and thrusting into me repeatedly, as if she's already wearing one.lol It really turns my on when she does this too. I'm like 'come on, I'll race ya to the bedroom' ...and off we bolt.lol

We are actually looking at buying one. We have google searched them and are discussing what would best suit our needs and desires. There is a lesbian sex toy shop in Melbourne where we are intending on buying it. I'm thinking of ringing ahead to talk with the owner before we venture there.

I have never been in a sex shop or anything like that in my life before, so it's a bit scary and intimidating to think of going in there. I do want us to see all the different kinds there are and make this purchase together. It's a very personal and important item for us to buy, so I don't want to buy it over the internet.

What's made my mind boggle at this thread, is the thought of me wearing it. We have spent the whole time discussing my partner harnessing it on and penetrating me, not the other way around. I really hope my partner doesn't want me to strap it on because I am not wanting to at all. What's bothering me is that my partner may very well want me to, just so she knows what its like for me.

My partner is butch, dominate and on top. I'm femme, submissive and on the bottom ...and that's how I like it. Even when my partner rolls me on top of her sometimes, she's still in control and continues deeply penetrating me. I sexually touch my partner too, but it's not in the same way. I know I'm going to have to ask my partner this question, but what if she says 'yes'?

DapperButch · 11-30-2015, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poss

but what if she says 'yes'?

Be honest with her. You have a right to set a sexual boundary, just like she, or anyone else does.

You can tell her you are not interested in that. Full stop. End of story.

Or, you can say you don't see yourself interested in it, but you are open to seeing how you feel after you all get it and she wears it. The other thing to remember is that even if you are the one wearing the strap on, she can still be in control.

There is nothing wrong with either of the above responses. It is ok if it is a firm no from the beginning. People should never puts themselves in uncomfortable situations in order to please their partner. Some things just don't "feel right", and that is ok.

Definitely talk to her about it before you buy it. Then you can let go of that anxiety, or any barriers that would impact an otherwise fun time while buying it.

Poss · 12-01-2015, 01:49 PM

Your reply makes all the sense in the world, but then there's me!

The thing is that I have done and will do again ...put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to please my partner. This is no reflection on my partner at all and has to do with the way I am. I really love pleasing her even if I am apprehensive about whatever it is that I'm about to do.

I thought about this dilemma since I posted it. If my partner asks me to wear it, I have decided that I will. I’ll let her know that I feel awkward about it, but that I’m prepared to do this for her. Basically my desire to please my partner is way stronger than the thought of me saying no.

I really hate having to hold the heifer’s heads tight in the cattle crush whilst my partner dehorns them. Their blood gushes out all over my face, my legs feel like jelly and I cry. These days, I get down on my knees, turn my head to the side of the cattle crush and hold the halter tight for dear life …but my eyes still well up. After it’s all finished, my partner gives me a big bear hug, holds me tight and tells me how much she loves me and appreciates what I do for her.

So in the scheme of things, strapping on isn’t really that big of a deal right? Well I sure hope not. I guess I’ll soon find out. I might be going through this for nothing, because my partner might balk at the thought of it …if I’m lucky. I don’t feel so worried now, so I’ll just wait and see after we buy one. If she asks me to strap on for her, I will.

ButterflyATX · 12-01-2015, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

I definitely still feel Femme, but there's also this genderqueer, boi-ish side in there that wants to come out. I feel both at the same time--fully powerful in my Femme identity but also feeling a little bit like a boi.

This is an AMAZING thread!

I am totally in awe of femmes who pack and/or strap. I am SO envious of that power you must feel, but I just can't imagine ever doing it, myself..... even if a partner asked me to.

giggleluver · 12-01-2015, 07:30 PM

Oh yeah! I thought I was the only one who's strapped on as a femme. It's been a while since I have had the pleasure of using the strap on my Butch as the last 2 people that I dated were tops exclusively.... I am still open to using one if it is pleasurable to my lover.

DapperButch · 12-01-2015, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poss

Your reply makes all the sense in the world, but then there's me!

The thing is that I have done and will do again ...put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to please my partner. This is no reflection on my partner at all and has to do with the way I am. I really love pleasing her even if I am apprehensive about whatever it is that I'm about to do.

I thought about this dilemma since I posted it. If my partner asks me to wear it, I have decided that I will. I’ll let her know that I feel awkward about it, but that I’m prepared to do this for her. Basically my desire to please my partner is way stronger than the thought of me saying no.

I really hate having to hold the heifer’s heads tight in the cattle crush whilst my partner dehorns them. Their blood gushes out all over my face, my legs feel like jelly and I cry. These days, I get down on my knees, turn my head to the side of the cattle crush and hold the halter tight for dear life …but my eyes still well up. After it’s all finished, my partner gives me a big bear hug, holds me tight and tells me how much she loves me and appreciates what I do for her.

So in the scheme of things, strapping on isn’t really that big of a deal right? Well I sure hope not. I guess I’ll soon find out. I might be going through this for nothing, because my partner might balk at the thought of it …if I’m lucky. I don’t feel so worried now, so I’ll just wait and see after we buy one. If she asks me to strap on for her, I will.

I don't know, Poss. What I am hearing here is that you are willing to put your partner first, even if it is to your own detriment. That really isn't healthy....for either of you.

It is one thing to say you feel awkward but are still willing to give it a go, but it hearing it side by side with someone that is horrid for you, but is something that MUST be done is really uncomfortable for me.

Sexual acts shouldn't be equated to having to do something that is hard, yet needs to be done.

When your partner says she loves you and thanks you for helping her with the cattle's head it is because it is a necessary evil. I can't imagine that your partner would want you to strap on for her if she knew that your discomfort in doing this is not as bad as it is with the cattle, but that it is a similar process.

Maybe I am off here.....all I can tell you is that reading that you would do something sexual that seems to be quite uncomfortable to you, only to make your partner happy, actually makes me feel a little ill. I am imagining how horrible I would feel if I knew my partner did something she didn't want to do just to please me. It would feel like I am violating her, I think.

I can't imagine any healthy partner wanting you to do that for them.

Angeltoes · 12-01-2015, 08:31 PM

This is a good thread.

I can't imagine myself strapping. I'm not against the idea, but I'm pretty sure I have no skills...lol.

*Anya* · 12-01-2015, 08:51 PM

I have a couple of thoughts.

First of all, boundaries are critical for anyone.

We all may have a hard boundary. Mine is anything anal for myself. I don't have to justify it to my partner or to myself.

It just is.

I do want to say, however, that this is different than my trying something sexual for the first time and any associated discomfort or anxiety I may have if I have not done it before.

I felt scared and anxious the first time that I kissed a woman, the first time that I touched a woman sexually and the first time that I went down on a woman. Actually, the first time I did all those things with my first bio male boyfriend, I felt unsure and anxious, too.

The first time I strapped, I felt awkward and very unsure but I soon let go of those feelings and enjoyed it immensely.

Penetration is a hard boundary for my GF so, that is off the table and I totally respect that.

My point is that a hard boundary is very different from feeling anxious and unsure about our sexual skills in a particular area. No one can tell us what is right or wrong for us but ourselves. It may take us a while to figure out which is which, but if we trust ourselves and our partner; we will come to know what is right for us.

Gemme · 12-01-2015, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poss

What's made my mind boggle at this thread, is the thought of me wearing it. We have spent the whole time discussing my partner harnessing it on and penetrating me, not the other way around. I really hope my partner doesn't want me to strap it on because I am not wanting to at all. What's bothering me is that my partner may very well want me to, just so she knows what its like for me.

I'm seeing this from a different perspective than the others, although I agree with the discussion on healthy boundaries and not doing anything that will put you in a bad place.

You say yourself that your partner and you are only talking about her strapping. The whole time it's come up, with the no deviance. She's the one to strap.

My question to you is this: why are you stressing yourself out about something that's not even on the table? It seems like unnecessary stress to put yourself through. Let it go. Unless there's something else going on, it seems like your partner is happy to be the one to strap and that seems like what you'd rather have anyway.

imperfect_cupcake · 12-01-2015, 09:30 PM

Poss, I'm not all that fond of strapping, mainly because I'm submissive and a bottom and it's super rare I've been someone I know that is dominant, top, and masculine and still wants me strapping.. But you know what? It HAS happened. And it's not nothing like suddenly growing a cock and becoming dominant and it's really awful and I can't deal.

Actually it just turns out it's a plastic toy I am not connected to but am wearing in a submissive way to have my partner use from me to please themselves. They stay exactly who they are. They don't morph, I don't morph, no one changes and a good time is had by all.

It's not the strap on. It has no magic qualities. The same strap on worn by a stunningly sexy Butch bear dominant top, worn by a bottom boi doesn't suddenly make them by magic into a dominant. They stay just as much a bottom as before they strapped it on.

You won't change if you wear it. I personally cant wear the same strap on a lover wears if it's realistic. It puts me off. Kind of squicked me out. So She me bought one that she wanted me to wear. It was dark blue and had grooves, not a head. Then she tied my hands behind my back to help me feel less toppy the first time, and threw me back, and used me like a post while grabbing my boobs and at no time did she become less masculine. There wasn't a single iota of feminine girly squeal that came out of her. It's was all Butch musk. So, no one becomes something they aren't just by strapping on - or by using the strap on the other way round.

I also fist people, but I stay submissive and they stay all boy, all Butch, and in charge.

If you can't imagine that, then perhaps you've just never been exposed to it. I've been in a hella lot of sex parties, fuck clubs, bdsm fetish play nights, etc and I have seen and taken part of even Dominants getting whipped with a flogger by their sub and STILL being in charge. One of my exes used to get me to flog her and she did it as a release for emotional reasons. I was simply there to serve her. She was absolutely in charge of it.

We don't have to fit inside a bog standard box. But if you have never seen it or been told, you might not know.

There is more than one way to be top, dominant, and masculine.

I'm not saying you have to, but if you are worried because the only thing you've read on this site is the whole "connecting with you cock" thing.... Well, that's only ONE way of many that people use them. I have never, ever connected with one. And it doesn't change who I am. But if it's what a top/Dom wants, then by all means, put it on me and make me take it

!

Poss · 12-02-2015, 03:31 AM

The replies to this thread since my last post are amazing and thought provoking. I have seriously taken on board what you have all written. It's wonderful that we feel so open to honestly discuss this subject matter in here. Social networks sites likes this are almost non-existent anywhere in the world. It's certainly encouraging me to view this topic from different angles.

I do think I've been over thinking this whole issue of being femme and strapping on for my butch partner. Right now if my partner was involved in this discussion, she'd look at me and say "YOU THINK!" lol

The thing is, if I don't sexually explore further than where I've already been before; then how will I ever know if I'd like it or not? How will I know if strapping-on is really a boundary, unless I go that far to find out?

It was me that initially raised the discussion between us about using a strap-on during our love making. We aren't getting any younger and its very rare now that we are able to continue making love all night until the sun comes up; like I'm 51 in a few weeks time and my partners in her mid 50's. I was thinking it would be easier on us both if we used a strap-on and some lubricant. We are in our 18th year together and spicing things up by utilising a sex toy seems like a good way to go about it. I just hadn't thought of strapping it on for my partner until now.

Who knows, we could get to the shop and find out that there are strap-on's for femmes and for butches. We could buy one of each and go on living a sexually active happy, healthy and loving relationship long into our retirement years.

If I keep this thinking up, it might be me asking my partner if I can strap-on for her ...just kidding (I think?).lol Because I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable about going into sex shop for the first time, doesn't mean I shouldn't go in there. So if the situation ever arises that I strap-on and find it very difficult to penetrate my partner; then I'll concede that it's a sexual boundary for me, but not before.

DapperButch · 12-02-2015, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poss

The replies to this thread since my last post are amazing and thought provoking. I have seriously taken on board what you have all written. It's wonderful that we feel so open to honestly discuss this subject matter in here. Social networks sites likes this are almost non-existent anywhere in the world. It's certainly encouraging me to view this topic from different angles.

I do think I've been over thinking this whole issue of being femme and strapping on for my butch partner. Right now if my partner was involved in this discussion, she'd look at me and say "YOU THINK!" lol

The thing is, if I don't sexually explore further than where I've already been before; then how will I ever know if I'd like it or not? How will I know if strapping-on is really a boundary, unless I go that far to find out?

It was me that initially raised the discussion between us about using a strap-on during our love making. We aren't getting any younger and its very rare now that we are able to continue making love all night until the sun comes up; like I'm 51 in a few weeks time and my partners in her mid 50's. I was thinking it would be easier on us both if we used a strap-on and some lubricant. We are in our 18th year together and spicing things up by utilising a sex toy seems like a good way to go about it. I just hadn't thought of strapping it on for my partner until now.

Who knows, we could get to the shop and find out that there are strap-on's for femmes and for butches. We could buy one of each and go on living a sexually active happy, healthy and loving relationship long into our retirement years.

If I keep this thinking up, it might be me asking my partner if I can strap-on for her ...just kidding (I think?).lol Because I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable about going into sex shop for the first time, doesn't mean I shouldn't go in there. So if the situation ever arises that I strap-on and find it very difficult to penetrate my partner; then I'll concede that it's a sexual boundary for me, but not before.

One word.....Excellent!

View Poll Results: Femme cock poll - I'm a femme and I:
Love to strap and find it vital to my sex life.	16	10.88%
Enjoy strapping and am happy when/if I get to.	30	20.41%
Tried strapping and hated it and/or didn't like it.	18	12.24%
Have never tried it, but would like to.	21	14.29%
Never ever ever want to strap.	62	42.18%
Voters: 147. You may not vote on this poll

08-19-2015, 09:54 AM	#85
jools66 Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: uk Posts: 287 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 191 Thanked 682 Times in 225 Posts Rep Power: 3036734	great topic Hi everyone, This is a brilliant subject. If I had to label myself, it would be maybe as a soft butch. But labelling is not something I care for. Having been someone who as strapped, and who has been on the receiving end to, I have to say I really enjoy both. To me its about what the other person likes and how it makes them feel as much as my own needs and desires to. I would like to think that a person I choose to have a relationship with would be open to new experiences. Even if it was to try it once. Having said that, I would never make someone do anything that they absolutely didn't want to do. I have felt ashamed on occasions for bringing up the subject of me wanting to strap for someone who was more butch than me. This I found a very uncomfortable feeling, and their negative reaction prompted me to never talk about it ever again with them. This felt like I had to hide what I really wanted and I felt restricted. I truly felt by their reaction that I was less of a woman somehow. That it wasn't my place to ask for what I needed and wanted. I had my role, and it wasn't to be deviated from. The consequences of this reaction was that I really feel with future lovers, that its a should I ask for it or not dilemma. This is something that you shouldn't have to even need to repress. But yet you feel ashamed to request it because of a negative reaction. My first gf wasn't even bothered about me strapping, she liked it, and l liked her doing it to. We should all be able to feel free enough to explore new things with the person we are with. Its just hard to know what their judgement of you will be if its something that you have never approached before, even if you think you know that person pretty well. And sometimes its just embarrassing and intimidating to bring the subject up if your not that confident. And this shouldn't be the case in this day and age, but sadly its still a reality. For me personally, well I have now come to terms with the fact that I'll be damned if I am not able to say and ask for what I want. Is just a question of approaching it in a comfortable way so that the other person doesn't feel like they are under pressure to do it, or to think that if they don't its going to be a major issue. I am interested to know more about this femme cock topic that so many of you are talking about. Please enlighten me. Great post btw

11-30-2015, 03:56 AM	#89
Poss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Gay, Lesbian, Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married in 2018 Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 38 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 160 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1932746	My mind boggles at the thought ... me wearing a strap-on! As I read through this thread, a nagging thought kept popping up 'GET ME OUT OF HERE!' I'm glad I didn't because this is a topic being discussed between my partner and I at the moment. Neither of us have ever had anything to do with them before. I don't know what the concept of 'packing' means or a woman having a 'hard on' is. What I do know is, that since my partner and I started talking about them; my partner is more and more frequently coming up behind me and thrusting into me repeatedly, as if she's already wearing one.lol It really turns my on when she does this too. I'm like 'come on, I'll race ya to the bedroom' ...and off we bolt.lol We are actually looking at buying one. We have google searched them and are discussing what would best suit our needs and desires. There is a lesbian sex toy shop in Melbourne where we are intending on buying it. I'm thinking of ringing ahead to talk with the owner before we venture there. I have never been in a sex shop or anything like that in my life before, so it's a bit scary and intimidating to think of going in there. I do want us to see all the different kinds there are and make this purchase together. It's a very personal and important item for us to buy, so I don't want to buy it over the internet. What's made my mind boggle at this thread, is the thought of me wearing it. We have spent the whole time discussing my partner harnessing it on and penetrating me, not the other way around. I really hope my partner doesn't want me to strap it on because I am not wanting to at all. What's bothering me is that my partner may very well want me to, just so she knows what its like for me. My partner is butch, dominate and on top. I'm femme, submissive and on the bottom ...and that's how I like it. Even when my partner rolls me on top of her sometimes, she's still in control and continues deeply penetrating me. I sexually touch my partner too, but it's not in the same way. I know I'm going to have to ask my partner this question, but what if she says 'yes'? Last edited by Poss; 11-30-2015 at 03:58 AM. Reason: spelling

12-01-2015, 01:49 PM	#91
Poss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Gay, Lesbian, Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married in 2018 Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 38 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 160 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1932746	I appreciate you replying to my post in this thread DapperButch Your reply makes all the sense in the world, but then there's me! The thing is that I have done and will do again ...put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to please my partner. This is no reflection on my partner at all and has to do with the way I am. I really love pleasing her even if I am apprehensive about whatever it is that I'm about to do. I thought about this dilemma since I posted it. If my partner asks me to wear it, I have decided that I will. I’ll let her know that I feel awkward about it, but that I’m prepared to do this for her. Basically my desire to please my partner is way stronger than the thought of me saying no. I really hate having to hold the heifer’s heads tight in the cattle crush whilst my partner dehorns them. Their blood gushes out all over my face, my legs feel like jelly and I cry. These days, I get down on my knees, turn my head to the side of the cattle crush and hold the halter tight for dear life …but my eyes still well up. After it’s all finished, my partner gives me a big bear hug, holds me tight and tells me how much she loves me and appreciates what I do for her. So in the scheme of things, strapping on isn’t really that big of a deal right? Well I sure hope not. I guess I’ll soon find out. I might be going through this for nothing, because my partner might balk at the thought of it …if I’m lucky. I don’t feel so worried now, so I’ll just wait and see after we buy one. If she asks me to strap on for her, I will.

12-01-2015, 07:30 PM	#93
giggleluver Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme, Mostly bottom, little Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, girl Relationship Status: Happy, single, polyamorous Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 62 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 93 Thanked 174 Times in 39 Posts Rep Power: 1717999	Oh yeah! I thought I was the only one who's strapped on as a femme. It's been a while since I have had the pleasure of using the strap on my Butch as the last 2 people that I dated were tops exclusively.... I am still open to using one if it is pleasurable to my lover. __________________ Giggle *You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream and that is pretty much the same thing.* Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. ~Leo Tolstoy

08-17-2015, 10:43 PM	#84
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,318 Times in 506 Posts Rep Power: 9408452	Hummm,thinking...no,not for me.But i'll tell y'all what,i like to watch femmes,lesbians,women,men,strap it on and watch 'em pleasure their partners,seeing as i'm so big into voyeurism and all. Not a crime...hey,i always ask permission to watch! yeaah right,prove it!!

08-19-2015, 05:02 PM	#88
Daisy Chain Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Hy calls me Hys Kitten Join Date: May 2015 Location: 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning Posts: 729 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,814 Thanked 1,810 Times in 448 Posts Rep Power: 0	Gosh.....where to start..? So many points I can think of. OK, in no particular order. I agree with Dapper in that I think its important to know what each others wants, needs, likes, dislikes, boundaries and deal breakers are in the bedroom..{or over the kitchen table etc etc..}. It would be pretty soul destroying to date/interact for any length of time, grow close to someone and have hopes of being together only to discover that sexually you were incompatible. For me it wouldnt have to be on or before the first date but fairly soon after. In a personal reflection.....and with respect this is specific to me...as an old school Femme....I am often expecting {and happily so..no martyrdom here} that there is a fair chance the Butch I was drawn to may be stone. And can see a stone Butches need to make this clear from the get go, the same as a stone Femme would/may want to also. I myself would not claim being stone as a label...I am fluid with this. I am stone if my partner requires it, it is of no major importance to me either way. There is a whole wonderful world of pleasure out there to be enjoyed in many many ways is my point here. For me personally, I have never, nor wish to strap. I am certain it would feel completely alien to me. Equally, for Femmes who enjoy to, I celebrate and support your choice to. What I think is of real importance is knowing you have the absolute right to feel able to say that something is either very important to you to have in a relationship or that something is unacceptable. Please dont ever let anyone shut you down in stating your personal preferences. As for thinking you may loose a potential good friend in the process. Wouldn't such straightforward honesty be a firm building block in the beginning of a friendship ? And if you were to be `only friends` after testing the water on a romantic level it should make no difference to that friendship at all what the details of each others sexual tastes are. Be true to yourself and proud of who you are, whether that be a stone Butch, strapping Femme, a switch or any of the many many other identities we may or may not be at any given time on our journeys, with or without any given partner. Thank you for reigniting this interesting topic. Daisy

12-01-2015, 08:31 PM	#95
Angeltoes Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Nunya Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Bernlandia Posts: 1,740 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,286 Thanked 5,525 Times in 1,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	This is a good thread. I can't imagine myself strapping. I'm not against the idea, but I'm pretty sure I have no skills...lol.

12-01-2015, 08:51 PM	#96
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,801 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have a couple of thoughts. First of all, boundaries are critical for anyone. We all may have a hard boundary. Mine is anything anal for myself. I don't have to justify it to my partner or to myself. It just is. I do want to say, however, that this is different than my trying something sexual for the first time and any associated discomfort or anxiety I may have if I have not done it before. I felt scared and anxious the first time that I kissed a woman, the first time that I touched a woman sexually and the first time that I went down on a woman. Actually, the first time I did all those things with my first bio male boyfriend, I felt unsure and anxious, too. The first time I strapped, I felt awkward and very unsure but I soon let go of those feelings and enjoyed it immensely. Penetration is a hard boundary for my GF so, that is off the table and I totally respect that. My point is that a hard boundary is very different from feeling anxious and unsure about our sexual skills in a particular area. No one can tell us what is right or wrong for us but ourselves. It may take us a while to figure out which is which, but if we trust ourselves and our partner; we will come to know what is right for us. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-01-2015, 09:30 PM	#98
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Poss, I'm not all that fond of strapping, mainly because I'm submissive and a bottom and it's super rare I've been someone I know that is dominant, top, and masculine and still wants me strapping.. But you know what? It HAS happened. And it's not nothing like suddenly growing a cock and becoming dominant and it's really awful and I can't deal. Actually it just turns out it's a plastic toy I am not connected to but am wearing in a submissive way to have my partner use from me to please themselves. They stay exactly who they are. They don't morph, I don't morph, no one changes and a good time is had by all. It's not the strap on. It has no magic qualities. The same strap on worn by a stunningly sexy Butch bear dominant top, worn by a bottom boi doesn't suddenly make them by magic into a dominant. They stay just as much a bottom as before they strapped it on. You won't change if you wear it. I personally cant wear the same strap on a lover wears if it's realistic. It puts me off. Kind of squicked me out. So She me bought one that she wanted me to wear. It was dark blue and had grooves, not a head. Then she tied my hands behind my back to help me feel less toppy the first time, and threw me back, and used me like a post while grabbing my boobs and at no time did she become less masculine. There wasn't a single iota of feminine girly squeal that came out of her. It's was all Butch musk. So, no one becomes something they aren't just by strapping on - or by using the strap on the other way round. I also fist people, but I stay submissive and they stay all boy, all Butch, and in charge. If you can't imagine that, then perhaps you've just never been exposed to it. I've been in a hella lot of sex parties, fuck clubs, bdsm fetish play nights, etc and I have seen and taken part of even Dominants getting whipped with a flogger by their sub and STILL being in charge. One of my exes used to get me to flog her and she did it as a release for emotional reasons. I was simply there to serve her. She was absolutely in charge of it. We don't have to fit inside a bog standard box. But if you have never seen it or been told, you might not know. There is more than one way to be top, dominant, and masculine. I'm not saying you have to, but if you are worried because the only thing you've read on this site is the whole "connecting with you cock" thing.... Well, that's only ONE way of many that people use them. I have never, ever connected with one. And it doesn't change who I am. But if it's what a top/Dom wants, then by all means, put it on me and make me take it ! Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 12-01-2015 at 09:37 PM.

12-02-2015, 03:31 AM	#99
Poss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Gay, Lesbian, Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Legally Married in 2018 Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Victoria, Australia Posts: 38 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 160 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1932746	Sexual boundaries ...how do I know what they are if I haven't been there before? The replies to this thread since my last post are amazing and thought provoking. I have seriously taken on board what you have all written. It's wonderful that we feel so open to honestly discuss this subject matter in here. Social networks sites likes this are almost non-existent anywhere in the world. It's certainly encouraging me to view this topic from different angles. I do think I've been over thinking this whole issue of being femme and strapping on for my butch partner. Right now if my partner was involved in this discussion, she'd look at me and say "YOU THINK!" lol The thing is, if I don't sexually explore further than where I've already been before; then how will I ever know if I'd like it or not? How will I know if strapping-on is really a boundary, unless I go that far to find out? It was me that initially raised the discussion between us about using a strap-on during our love making. We aren't getting any younger and its very rare now that we are able to continue making love all night until the sun comes up; like I'm 51 in a few weeks time and my partners in her mid 50's. I was thinking it would be easier on us both if we used a strap-on and some lubricant. We are in our 18th year together and spicing things up by utilising a sex toy seems like a good way to go about it. I just hadn't thought of strapping it on for my partner until now. Who knows, we could get to the shop and find out that there are strap-on's for femmes and for butches. We could buy one of each and go on living a sexually active happy, healthy and loving relationship long into our retirement years. If I keep this thinking up, it might be me asking my partner if I can strap-on for her ...just kidding (I think?).lol Because I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable about going into sex shop for the first time, doesn't mean I shouldn't go in there. So if the situation ever arises that I strap-on and find it very difficult to penetrate my partner; then I'll concede that it's a sexual boundary for me, but not before.