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Old 03-16-2011, 05:48 AM   #2001
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Originally Posted by DamselFly View Post
greetings, everyone! i am new to this thread, will be turning 50 in May. while i do not mind getting older, i find myself getting enexpectedly lonely for company, specifically for that of a special butch in my life. i had thought to be perfectly content in the company of my room-mate (a lesbian friend, not B/f), my dog companions, and a newfound Elder Grandfather (not blood-related). lately i have found myself wishing for that someone who found me special, charming, pretty...who would send me good morning emails (for the relationship would probably have to start online,due to my relative geographical isolation), call me just because Hy wanted to hear my voice and knew i would want to hear Hys. Someone, who when we met, would have old-fashioned manners and treat me like a lady. i find myself missing the touch of Hym, even just the brief brush of my back as Hy pulls out my chair. the promise of more intimate contact in our eyes as we gaze at each other during our conversations, getting to know one another...
at this time in my life, i had thought to be concentrated on my inner studies, finding a Taoist or Buddhist community to join. i had not thought to missing...Hym. i had-or thought i had-relinquished romance to the first half of my life. now these feelings are coming unbidden back into my life. i didn't even want them. but here they are now, not to banished or fought against, but accepted. funny as i'm turning 50.
i realize that this is not much of an introduction. i will come back to this thread and do that at another time. thank you, whoever reads this, for joining me briefly in this surprising place of the heart in which i have found myself.
namaste,
DamselFly (though at 50, i really should be DameFly, LoL. i've always liked dragonflies and found the name of the female dragonfly to be lovely, hence my nick.)

welcome and welcome to the threshold of the golden years. Sometimes those 50 numbers don't roll off the tongue so easy. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. For a good part of my life I've enjoyed being single and also enjoyed falling in love. I'm ok with being a lone but I find myself wanting a partner yet not settling for just anything.

I wish you much luck on your journey in finding that special connection. I wish it for us all.
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Old 03-16-2011, 08:27 AM   #2002
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Default i am there to..

Damselfly i cant think of 1 more word to add to your post..You said it so perfectly..That is where i am at over here..Ya know i have been changeing many things around my house..Took a second out of my day looked up blinked and here i am going to be 51 in may and 28 years at my job next week..!!!....I have had a few bad dates over the years that my friends hooked me up with..One had a wallet bigger than mine and teeth that could chew through a log..I say WHat !! are ya mad at me..???..Not to offend anyone but that is kinda how it was going..Gina told me about this site..I was in another B-F site but after the break up it wasnt comfortable to me anymore..I am looking for my femme and conducts herself in that way and i can take care of the other half of the relationship real well..Just got in here a few days ago and i think i am going to like it..Everything out here is straight,,even the trees..It is hard to meet people in the lifestyle where i live..Ya know it gets a little quiet over here..

Wishing everyone a good day..However i work at night so i need to get to bed but i wont..Probly put that light up in the kitchen that has been in the floor for almost 2 weeks..
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Old 03-16-2011, 10:41 AM   #2003
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Smile tyvm, everyone!

Many thanks to all who have given me such a warm welcome! (And a special thanks to vabzee for your kind remark about my nick!) i had no idea i'd strike such a chord! i've always been attracted to older butches and realized that now I'M an older femme, though i do have an inner grrl who longs for a Daddy. i watch tv and now the newspeople look so young! so also do many of the tv shows. b/c of my vision problems, i don't watch much tv. shishiTao for the wonderful program offered by the Library of Congress that sends out books on tape and digital format for people with vision difficulties and/or physical disabilities! (if anyone wants more info on the program, PM me and i'll try to help you get hooked up w/the program in your state.)
i'll be dropping in to say hello and read posts as often as my eyes will allow! have a great rest of the week everyone! i wish good weather for everyone-supposed to get in the 70s here today!
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:26 PM   #2004
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Old 03-21-2011, 11:44 PM   #2005
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....teeth that could chew through a log.
OMG! Rustedrims, I just about fell out of my chair laughing at the image that description brought to mind!
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Old 03-22-2011, 10:31 AM   #2006
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Default Good Afternoon!

just dropping in to say good afternoon to everyone! i have posted this in a separate threaad elsewhere but will mention this here briefly. i am looking for a good place to live for the second half of my life. needed:
reasonably good accomodations for one on SSD and disabled; good public transportation; access to good healthcare; a gay, preferably b/f, community; and a Buddhist sangha. i'd prefer a big town or a small city. i don't want to be in the middle of no-where,as i am now, nor do i want to be lost in a big city. i have time to look but would like to have someone to show me around a bit. i live simply and only require a studio or one bedroom apt. oh, while i like to have four seasons, i'd also prefer a rather temperate climate, due my MS. thanks for any input!
have a great week!
namaste,
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Old 03-30-2011, 07:19 AM   #2007
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Default Log teeth..

OH YEAH PumaJ..

She had a big bite going on..I excused myself from the fire and went over to chat with the dog..My friend came over and she said hey hummmm what do you think..??..Said a few things and walked away..She was in her late 40's lived with her mom and dad with no job and cant drive..Guess all she needed WAS a wallet bigger than mine..Not to put the girl down,,just not my type..
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Old 03-30-2011, 02:56 PM   #2008
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Default hello again, everyone!

hello again. nice to read all the posts from E/everyone! DominNC, nice to see You again! *smile*
i just got back from the neuro-at 50, i seem to be making the round of dr.s*sigh*. he wants to order more tests and change my drugs-again. but this is one reason i came here, so i shouldn't complain, i suppose.
i'm notcut out for the solitary country life! if i were with a butch, perhaps this would be different. i'd have S/some to look forward to, etc, etc. i don't like the extreme isolation. i have no way to get to friends or the city AND no library at all within the entire county! i couldn't believe that! that is waaay too isolated for me. i need at least a bookmobile, lol! i might not be able to read much now but at least want to go somewhere where people DO read and i could maybe talk about books! is anyone besides me addicted to bookdust? i can't live without the stuff! take me to a bookstore and i'm giddy! sigh....to sit down in a comfy chair w/a book or newpaper (preferably alternative) and read and sip a cup of coffee or tea, with a friend who is also reading...nibana!
oh, well, enough! i'm lucky in that i do have a comfortable place to live, two dogs who love me, and my audio books from L.o.C. to listen to! so thank the Heavens for that!
not to mention this wonderful online community! thank Y/y'all for being here!
namaste,
DamselFly
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:18 PM   #2009
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Default hey

Hey, Hope all is well with you all. I haven't really done any posting for sometime. My Aunt is dieing of lung cancer. The tummer has almost filled the inside of her rt lung. No help for her. I have really been getting junk about me being gay. I know my depresson will pass. With my aunt she has never put me down for being gay. My mother is doing a darn good job of it. Any ways,I guess thats why I haven't posted. A nother thing is being alone. I mean I miss the companonship. Someone to talk to who is like me. Any ways,I hope all is well with all of you.
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Old 03-30-2011, 10:52 PM   #2010
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Default Yo, blueeyes226_l :-)

Very sorry to read about your Aunt and her lung cancer. Hard to go through for everyone.

I can understand why you are feeling down in the dumps during this difficult time. Oy vey! So much stress! Would be a very hard time for anyone regardless of any other mood issues. Sad that your mom is giving you grief about being gay. Not very nice of her, IMO.

Thank goodness you can come here and feel at home hanging out online with other gay women. You know that we all get it, I'm sure.

So, here's some hugs & flowers comin' at ya'!



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Old 03-31-2011, 07:16 AM   #2011
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Default Hello Everyone..

Hey blueeyes226..

sorry to hear about your aunt..we have all sat and stood at friends and familys bedsides..it is hard to watch when ya know you cant help them..

ok blue i have something to say about your mom..my little story and i will try not to make it to long but i got a point to make..

here it goes..i live in ohio and took my mom to indiana to visit family..guess it was getting to me alot cause i wanted to talk to mom about my lifestyle..i was thinking i could tell her in the car during the 4 hour drive..chickened out on the way there and was determined to tell her on the way back..well on the way back we were getting close to the ohio line and still didnt say anything..so told myself i am telling her when we cross the ohio line..ok crossed the line and a few miles i said mom i gotta tell ya something..she just looked at me and said ok..so i told her i was gay and she said I Know..WHAT.!!.Butch woman that looks every bit gay,,thought i was doing a good job of "hiding it"..what a relief..i asked her ,well then why didnt you tell me and she said i was waiting for you to come to me..we talked about things that i didnt realize was being said about me from people in church..fortunately nothing in a negative tone was said..all good things..people know me for my humor..i can make anyone laugh anytime and all the junk i am changing on my house NOT..!!!..Because i am gay..I am a nice person and i let that come through before being gay..

ok with that being said this is for your mom..
as i was talking to my mom about my lifestyle she said she was reading about gay people..guess she was trying to understand why i am like i am..in her readings she said the mother is the one who has "The Gean" [spelling] that determines if the kid is going to be gay or straight..i dont know where she read that from but she is a reader and found it somewhere..might mention it to your mom..maybe do a little reasearch to have something to back ya up..maybe someone in here knows a little about that stuff that can help..
a question i asked my mom....When you were born did you have some kind of form to fill out to choose the lifestyle you wanted to live..??..i told her that i didnt and if i did why would i pick being gay..???.!!!..being made fun of your whole life..maybe if you choose to ask her that question do it where other people can hear it so maybe she will leave you alone about it..dont do it in a mean way..just ask her like you ask could you please pass the mashed potatoes..look her in the eyes and wait for her answer..i asked my mom if she feels different towards me and she said No your my kid and i love you..this kind comes to mind to..a few years ago i had to put my dog to sleep because he got old and warn out..a few days later my mom asked me if i was going to get another dog..kinda threw me a little and i asked her if one of your kids dies are you going to get another kid..??.{there is 4 of us}..she kinda sat back made a mom face and said hummm..same thing..
Blue i am tellin ya when you get the "Gay Card" thrown at ya,ya gotta throw it right back..it takes the wind right out of their sail..i know some days are better than others and you will never stop it but you can slow it down a little..give yourself some time and get your thoughts together..dont pounce on your mom but let her know you are here and you are not going away..
sorry about the length..i get wound up when our lifestyle is questioned and attacked..maybe they are the wrong ones..said that to my mom to..hummm..
let me know how it goes if you question your mom about HER lifestyle..once again sorry about your aunt..my thoughts are with you..

Hey Damselfly..if you find a library some where and get into your reading stuff maybe you can do a little research for Blue..hope you are feeling better..

S..
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:06 AM   #2012
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Originally Posted by rustedrims View Post
Hey blueeyes226..

sorry to hear about your aunt..we have all sat and stood at friends and familys bedsides..it is hard to watch when ya know you cant help them..

ok blue i have something to say about your mom..my little story and i will try not to make it to long but i got a point to make..

here it goes..i live in ohio and took my mom to indiana to visit family..guess it was getting to me alot cause i wanted to talk to mom about my lifestyle..i was thinking i could tell her in the car during the 4 hour drive..chickened out on the way there and was determined to tell her on the way back..well on the way back we were getting close to the ohio line and still didnt say anything..so told myself i am telling her when we cross the ohio line..ok crossed the line and a few miles i said mom i gotta tell ya something..she just looked at me and said ok..so i told her i was gay and she said I Know..WHAT.!!.Butch woman that looks every bit gay,,thought i was doing a good job of "hiding it"..what a relief..i asked her ,well then why didnt you tell me and she said i was waiting for you to come to me..we talked about things that i didnt realize was being said about me from people in church..fortunately nothing in a negative tone was said..all good things..people know me for my humor..i can make anyone laugh anytime and all the junk i am changing on my house NOT..!!!..Because i am gay..I am a nice person and i let that come through before being gay..

ok with that being said this is for your mom..
as i was talking to my mom about my lifestyle she said she was reading about gay people..guess she was trying to understand why i am like i am..in her readings she said the mother is the one who has "The Gean" [spelling] that determines if the kid is going to be gay or straight..i dont know where she read that from but she is a reader and found it somewhere..might mention it to your mom..maybe do a little reasearch to have something to back ya up..maybe someone in here knows a little about that stuff that can help..
a question i asked my mom....When you were born did you have some kind of form to fill out to choose the lifestyle you wanted to live..??..i told her that i didnt and if i did why would i pick being gay..???.!!!..being made fun of your whole life..maybe if you choose to ask her that question do it where other people can hear it so maybe she will leave you alone about it..dont do it in a mean way..just ask her like you ask could you please pass the mashed potatoes..look her in the eyes and wait for her answer..i asked my mom if she feels different towards me and she said No your my kid and i love you..this kind comes to mind to..a few years ago i had to put my dog to sleep because he got old and warn out..a few days later my mom asked me if i was going to get another dog..kinda threw me a little and i asked her if one of your kids dies are you going to get another kid..??.{there is 4 of us}..she kinda sat back made a mom face and said hummm..same thing..
Blue i am tellin ya when you get the "Gay Card" thrown at ya,ya gotta throw it right back..it takes the wind right out of their sail..i know some days are better than others and you will never stop it but you can slow it down a little..give yourself some time and get your thoughts together..dont pounce on your mom but let her know you are here and you are not going away..
sorry about the length..i get wound up when our lifestyle is questioned and attacked..maybe they are the wrong ones..said that to my mom to..hummm..
let me know how it goes if you question your mom about HER lifestyle..once again sorry about your aunt..my thoughts are with you..

Hey Damselfly..if you find a library some where and get into your reading stuff maybe you can do a little research for Blue..hope you are feeling better..

S..
My mothers health isn't good Thats one reson I moved in with her. My sister all she thinks of is going out of town with her drunk hubbie. I'm here at the house alot. My mother made her Will out and left my daughter some stuff and My sister had the nerve to ask me to go in with her so see My daughter didn't get any thing then she would give me something. I was apalled! I said 1. She is my daughter and 2. that is moms last wishes. No I will not. She blew up at my mom about it. Told her my daughter was a bi_ c_ and she will just sit on it and no one will get any thing. I told her she can't do that. Her replay was oh yes,I can I'm the boss over it. I told her there was 2 other names on it to and there would be 2 agance 1.To say the lest I was pis_ed what she did to mom. When ever Mom is around my sister she gets real snotty, snippy and trys to boss me. I hate that..... My sister is a pice of work to say the less... If my daughters name comes up my sister gets really mad...She has to have that god oh mighty doller. I can't really live Mom u know move away from here because,with her health we could find her gone. It's one heck of a mess here. Any ways Thanks for the hugs and flowers and advice. Hey if I may ask where in Ohio are you around? Where I live is about 2 1/2 hrs from Ohio state line.
Love u all...
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:48 AM   #2013
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Default re: moms n family stuff

{{{blueeyes}}} a big strong femme hug! you sound like you need it! you are really being put through the wringer w/family right now! is there any way you could move into your own place nearby? being put down day after day is definitely NOT good for your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physcial health. that will wear you down quickly! if you can't move, then i suggest you find a gay or gay friendly counselor. just having someone to talk to would help. is there a chapter of PFLAG near you? that would help you and perhaps even your mom with the gay bashing from your family. and remember, WE are always here for you! (if you want a femme to talk with, feel free to pm me.)
S (rustedrims), you are lucky with your mom and her reaction to your being butch/gay. a lot of mothers really have a difficult time with butch children, moreso than femmes. i suppose it's the masculine butch persona that scares them. i'm so glad that your mom accepts you and loves you just the way you are. that's a boon for any child, regardless of orientation! cheers for your mom!!!
i didn't have such luck with my birth mother. my dad was fine w/me being anything and anyone i wanted, as long as i was happy. when he died, heart attack at 55, the rest of the family threw me out. lock, stock, and barrel! i wasn't even invited to my dad's funeral! my mother and brother refused to talk to me, and my brother didn't even tell his family he HAD a sister. too bad-i would make one very cool aunt! they were in the hit zone of katrina, so now i have no family, even one who doesn't accept me! luckily, i've had several families who have adopted me, so i'm not alone anymore! that's how i came to be chinese, btw. i was adopted into a chinese kwoon (family), given a new name and everything! when i get enough money, i'm having my name changed to theirs!
well, enough from me right now! S, i haven't heard from you in awhile. fenshen (please) write me and let me know how you are doing!
and for all the lofters, qingduo guan zhao!
i'm glad to be here!
namaste,
DamselFly
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:13 PM   #2014
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DamselFly View Post
{{{blueeyes}}} a big strong femme hug! you sound like you need it! you are really being put through the wringer w/family right now! is there any way you could move into your own place nearby? being put down day after day is definitely NOT good for your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physcial health. that will wear you down quickly! if you can't move, then i suggest you find a gay or gay friendly counselor. just having someone to talk to would help. is there a chapter of PFLAG near you? that would help you and perhaps even your mom with the gay bashing from your family. and remember, WE are always here for you! (if you want a femme to talk with, feel free to pm me.)
S (rustedrims), you are lucky with your mom and her reaction to your being butch/gay. a lot of mothers really have a difficult time with butch children, moreso than femmes. i suppose it's the masculine butch persona that scares them. i'm so glad that your mom accepts you and loves you just the way you are. that's a boon for any child, regardless of orientation! cheers for your mom!!!
i didn't have such luck with my birth mother. my dad was fine w/me being anything and anyone i wanted, as long as i was happy. when he died, heart attack at 55, the rest of the family threw me out. lock, stock, and barrel! i wasn't even invited to my dad's funeral! my mother and brother refused to talk to me, and my brother didn't even tell his family he HAD a sister. too bad-i would make one very cool aunt! they were in the hit zone of katrina, so now i have no family, even one who doesn't accept me! luckily, i've had several families who have adopted me, so i'm not alone anymore! that's how i came to be chinese, btw. i was adopted into a chinese kwoon (family), given a new name and everything! when i get enough money, i'm having my name changed to theirs!
well, enough from me right now! S, i haven't heard from you in awhile. fenshen (please) write me and let me know how you are doing!
and for all the lofters, qingduo guan zhao!
i'm glad to be here!
namaste,
DamselFly
There is a PFLAGE 100 miles from me. I have a Lesbian mentore but,about 4 weeks ago she told me its wrong being with same sex person. said,someday she will talk to me about it. Her Aunt got to her with Religon. I am a Rev. but I do not belive her way. I always say to each there oun. Its even hard on us Rev's. I'm very lib about things.Her and her spouce are split big time. It blew me right out of the water. I couldn't belive it. I always looked up to her. No there is no way I can aford a place to rent. I'm still paying bills my ex "life time" partner ran up in my name and will not pay them. Hey,I will adopt you. I don't have any one,even my daughter only respects me because,i'm older then her but its very little. Any ways here on the frount lines of the war,
blueeyes226_l
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:59 AM   #2015
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Default checkin-in

Hey blueeyes..FREAKING CEDAR POINT..!!!!!.. {excuse me ladies}

I will be back later to chat..Gotta get some running around done then get a load of horse and cow p--p and take it to my brothers for the garden..Yeah i get to drive my busted rusted truck..if gas gets anymore expensive i am going to take my truck out in the woods and shoot it in the radiator and let it finish rusting..

Hey D didnt go anywhere..guess the email didnt work..
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Old 04-01-2011, 12:22 PM   #2016
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Hang in there blueeyes. We are rootin' for ya'
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Old 04-04-2011, 09:46 AM   #2017
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Default hi everyone..

Hey blueeyes..

feel kinda stupid..here i am blasting your mom and she is sick to..real sorry about that..i guess going out and getting drunk with the "hubby" is a more respecful life than being gay..i guess i dont have it so bad..the family i dont get along with i stay away from..that would be my evil sister and hateful angry father..neither one of them speak to me..i texed my evil sister and put some horrible things in there and i still dont feel bad about it..it was all the truth..the father is horrible to even to look at..i feel bad for you to Damselfly..

took some $$$ and a credit card to help pay for gas over to my mom so she can go to florida on thursday with her sister....the horrible father doesnt like to see my mom happy..my brother and nice sister gave her some spending money to..my aunts husband died in january and they have a house down there..guess they are going down to clean it up and probly sell..anybody need a place in Spring Hill..??..their other sister cant go because the guy she is dating waited to long to go to the doctor and now he has cancer..might only be around a few more months..gotta get things fixed when they dont work right..he didnt and now look where he is at..

hey blueeyes when i take my mom to indiana maybe we can meet at one of those exits..it will get ya out of the house for a little bit..i get off Chesterton Valpo exit..where are you at from there..??.might be a few months from now..let me know..

better get off here..waiting to get blasted with a storm and high winds..gotta get to bed..better sleep with my shoes on..

i hope everyone has a good day..

s..
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Old 04-04-2011, 01:00 PM   #2018
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alrighty ..... a lil humor here.... in you maybe a old fart thread.... lol
afternooners...... Loft dwellers and peekers..


http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=2983
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Old 04-04-2011, 01:01 PM   #2019
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rustedrims View Post
Hey blueeyes..

feel kinda stupid..here i am blasting your mom and she is sick to..real sorry about that..i guess going out and getting drunk with the "hubby" is a more respecful life than being gay..i guess i dont have it so bad..the family i dont get along with i stay away from..that would be my evil sister and hateful angry father..neither one of them speak to me..i texed my evil sister and put some horrible things in there and i still dont feel bad about it..it was all the truth..the father is horrible to even to look at..i feel bad for you to Damselfly..

took some $$$ and a credit card to help pay for gas over to my mom so she can go to florida on thursday with her sister....the horrible father doesnt like to see my mom happy..my brother and nice sister gave her some spending money to..my aunts husband died in january and they have a house down there..guess they are going down to clean it up and probly sell..anybody need a place in Spring Hill..??..their other sister cant go because the guy she is dating waited to long to go to the doctor and now he has cancer..might only be around a few more months..gotta get things fixed when they dont work right..he didnt and now look where he is at..

hey blueeyes when i take my mom to indiana maybe we can meet at one of those exits..it will get ya out of the house for a little bit..i get off Chesterton Valpo exit..where are you at from there..??.might be a few months from now..let me know..

better get off here..waiting to get blasted with a storm and high winds..gotta get to bed..better sleep with my shoes on..

i hope everyone has a good day..

s..
Hey rustedrims,

Its ok don't keep hiting your self in the head about what you said. I could end up finding my Mom gone to. I moved in to be here to help her and because,I lost every thing when,my "life time partner left. I have been paying her bills she ran up in my name. Time I pay all bills I don't have much left after my money from SSI and food was cut back.
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Old 04-04-2011, 01:06 PM   #2020
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyes226_l View Post
There is a PFLAGE 100 miles from me. I have a Lesbian mentore but,about 4 weeks ago she told me its wrong being with same sex person. said,someday she will talk to me about it. Her Aunt got to her with Religon. I am a Rev. but I do not belive her way. I always say to each there oun. Its even hard on us Rev's. I'm very lib about things.Her and her spouce are split big time. It blew me right out of the water. I couldn't belive it. I always looked up to her. No there is no way I can aford a place to rent. I'm still paying bills my ex "life time" partner ran up in my name and will not pay them. Hey,I will adopt you. I don't have any one,even my daughter only respects me because,i'm older then her but its very little. Any ways here on the frount lines of the war,
blueeyes226_l
hey ya Blue.... sorry to see your going thru such hoopla over there....... hope ya'll have a lawyer to back u up with your mom's will ......... just a thought.
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so love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who dont,
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.
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