12-28-2014, 06:10 PM | #2501 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
December 28
DON’T BITE Desperation jumps up, runs around, then drops. If I don’t feed it, desperation burns out fast. I used to buy the advertising, the Horror, the Humanity. The acorn falling on my head convinced me easily. I grew this nut into terrifying despair never realizing if I had left it alone how quickly it would pass. When tragedy comes there is no time for a performance. The whirling splendor itself proves the farce. If I learn to recognize these triggers I might keep from shooting myself in the foot. If I let desperation wear itself out I can stay with the pack. Despondence splinters me and separates me from anything rational but quiet resolve lets me watch the wind twist while I keep my feet on the ground. Pay your friends in consideration and truth. * Winter is upon Us Spending time away from my clothes reminds me how much I love and hate something which only serves to protect and decorate me. Struggle with necessity, mad opinions about requirements, these are things I lost months and years to in my past and now only find as a sad footnote to the strangeness that is me. I have so much control over how hard I make things and no control over how hard things are. I can not set the weather but I can easily don my hat. Putting on a big pout over needing a hat, ah, well here is where acceptance plays a major role. I do however find comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this, I watch my poodle fret when her hair grows too long and shiver when it is shorn too short on cold crisp days. It’s good to have a fellow quibbler as I pull a blanket over her and slip on my hat. Vlog: http://youtu.be/PXkPJ3kAF5g You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
12-29-2014, 08:14 AM | #2502 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
December 29
RELAPSE IS NOT REQUIRED “Relapse is not required,” said my sponsor, “though at some meetings they make it seem appealing, all that prodigal drunk treatment.” “Well, so far, I’m living in the blessing of being convinced the first time,” I told her, “plus what could possibly be out there that’s better than what’s in here?” “That is the point. There is so much out there that is faster and bigger, more dramatic and extreme, but I sure have never seen anything better,” she patted my head and I grinned. “Since I am winning the first time why would I want to lose?” I add just to overstate her point. “This is the perfect place for those who want it, and all the rest get drunk, but drinking is not required any more than Santa has to come on Christmas.” Save pretty words in a jar like candy. * Step 3 Remember that this is a surrender to a friend, a thing filled with humor and humility not a thing filled with shame or humiliation. As for regret the only one I’ve ever had about step 3 is that I didn’t surrender earlier. Trying to pull a moose by its antlers across the desert was always a ridiculous endeavor, but a friend will stay close and let you try, always ready to lend a hand if asked, though never stealing the opportunity for me to recognize on my own how foolish I have been. Hilarity ensues as I explain my thinking and turn the project over to a brighter mind and more able hand realizing then; there is no good reason to pull that big thing across that vast wasteland. On the way back we chat about platypus and rhinoceros and laugh at how many strange things seem like bright ideas in the quiet space of even a great brain. I have avoided surrendering fearing the loneliness and defeat. Struggling alone with my torment was lonely; turning myself over to my best friend keeps me in the very best company. Vlog: http://youtu.be/0VICoQBksyo You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
12-30-2014, 08:37 PM | #2503 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
December 30
CARGO LOST, CARGO FOUND I fill the pallet of a new year's sobriety and, when it has been accomplished, make a manifest and strap this pallet with the others on the flatbed of my life. The cargo is secure and weighty; there is ample pressure where the rubber meets the road. I maneuver my rig carefully. I feel assured as I stream with the traffic on the byways. The power and magnitude of my transport prompts in me overconfidence. I fail to realize variation in weather or road conditions can jeopardize my journey. Eighteen wheels make for a poor cantilever when traction is lost and top-heavy wins out. In losing the battle of gravity, inertia and control I realize the past is not a weight I need to haul; all that is necessary is the inventory. I slip the pages into my pocket and walk the rest of the way. I am my only freight. Medicate with laughter and tears. * Can’t Walk Back I chase my reading list, lose my place, fall down, can’t find my page; suddenly there is a whole library beyond my grasp. I write as fast as I can and so do my fellows the result is more than I can read in three lifetimes. The glory and pain of freedom is the constriction of time. I claw at the minutes but the days slip quickly out of reach. How can I get the great work poured into my mind while still allowing original thought to flow from me? I ask God if I can be reincarnated with my backlist intact but there is no reply. I know in my heart this life is like hang-gliding on the beach; my shoes and socks are left behind and I fly off over open sea. So if we are friends now that is surely grand, but if you want to be my friend later, just take a walk in my shoes. Vlog: http://youtu.be/24UpEacsxX4 You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
12-31-2014, 09:18 PM | #2504 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
December 31
FAILED SOUP AND DISTRUST OF BURGUNDY What keeps me coming back to meetings and step work is an abiding mistrust of booze. Despite promises and advertisement, hopes and folklore, I couldn’t rely on drinking to take me where I wanted to go and I surely couldn’t depend on it to keep me there. The struggle is great; the attempt to cling to salvation through decanter is mighty but in the end this joining of my chemistry to other chemistry failed miserably. No matter how I held my mouth, held my head, held my liquor, satisfaction escaped without me and I was left here in the soup of my disillusion and disappointment. Failure to cooperate fully with alcohol lead me to try sobriety as an alternative. I may not always succeed in my recovery, but I can draw dividends on every deposit and use this to build a path to my desires. Make a private heaven with plenty of windows and doors. * Failure of Imagination The failure of imagination feels worse than it looks; it’s that rancid oily coating on the skin that I abhor. The sweat that appears when sloth becomes a burden, the confusion of an unused intellect, the mumbled acquiescence of a weak will, creep me out of the permission that I wished to offer myself but can not accept. The languishing mind that I left to wither in the confines of my skull requires my perseverance. Falling down, giving up, throwing in terry cloth objects is impermissible, I must pluck up my willingness and apply whatever drops of genius I possess to every muscle fiber I can find. So much has been made available to me and I must return that favor. You see imagination only fails me if I have failed it first. Vlog: http://youtu.be/2xIyrdB516I You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-02-2015, 08:03 AM | #2505 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 1
Lie Yes, a lie is just a lie, but the truth also has problems. I relay the facts and the words take on a life of their own, leave out the backdoor and walk on down the road. They move to another town and never find time to come back for a visit even though, I am their mother. And woe to the woman who grows attached to credit or recognition for her ideas. These kidnapped prodigies are never ransomed but sold outright and their DNA not questioned or tested. So, my advice is to love your words in secret and raise your notions behind high walls. If you are ever called upon to share your wisdom, lie. For even if you’re caught the risk is tolerable. Exposure is awkward but then again no one is looking, so, what is there to lose. A lie is just a lie but it stays home with you at night. Tie a string to the moon ~ THE COWS ARE HIGHER THAN THE HOUSE I got sober only to end up living in a house where the cows are higher than the house. I mean next to my house there is a hill The hill is surrounded by a fence The cows are pastured inside the fence Standing on the hill the cows are taller than the house. I didn't expect to live in a house where the cows were higher. I expected normal I didn't expect the cows at all. I expected the house but not this house It's at the end of the lane It's the one with the rose colored shutters. My sponsor wants to know why rose colored shutters Are OK but cows overlooking the house aren't? I can't answer her It's just wrong - that's all! I don't know why she can't understand this It seems perfectly clear to me. My sponsor says I am powerless over the cows And my life is not unmanageable but my thinking is. She tells me to paint purple cows. To write stories about worse places for the cows to be I tell her the tub. She says write it down. She's no fun. I heard in a meeting I should pray for the people And things I am upset about. I pray for the cows My sponsor says the cows see how I live my life And she is sure the cows pray for me. Vlog: http://youtu.be/mvzU3AmU2J4 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-03-2015, 08:24 AM | #2506 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 2
GOOD AS GOLD Just because I’m as good as gold doesn’t mean that I win the prize. Doesn’t mean I get my way. Doesn’t mean I gain your heart. Being ‘extra special sweetness and light girl’ doesn’t secure my future. It does prevent me from living my life as someone I don’t like. It contents me to keep my own company. It is a huge improvement over living as the raging fury I once was. Any destination I desire is more readily assessable from this amiable posture; in spite of inexpert yearning. I can breathe past you if must be, walk down the road holding my own hand instead of holding a lung full of air. But I am the treasure. You must earn me never capture me. Appreciate me not devalue me. I’m good as gold. And please know that I am the prize. Remember yourself as you would an old friend Vlog: http://youtu.be/cW3KCDxy0EA You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-03-2015, 08:58 AM | #2507 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
submissive queer stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,827
Thanks: 3,752
Thanked 3,845 Times in 856 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
Quote:
|
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to girlin2une For This Useful Post: |
01-03-2015, 09:18 AM | #2508 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 3
Maniacs on Pogo Sticks I fear maniacs on pogo sticks peeping through my rural second story windows as the smoke of paranoia curls between my ears. Overestimating my interest to others causes me as much harm as the underestimation. Attributing super powers to onlookers is a parlor trick my ego plays to keep me occupied while my life passes by. I sacrifice all my possibilities for fear of what could be stolen through my keyhole. I cut off my face to spite my poor lonely nose. I must move forward in spite of my disquietude for the future lay ahead, yet I do console myself that it is harder to hit a moving target. Use honey to get the peas to stick to your knife ~ DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO THE CIRCUS I show up at a meeting I didn't know the circus was in town I expected calm, demure, sober behavior My expectations were dashed, my bubble burst. There were people streaming back and forth in front of the speaker There were kids playing among the chairs Smokers worked the meeting in shifts Hustling out the back door and smoldering back in. The side conversations rivaled the main attraction People dressed for the street not the meeting, the bibby shirt, tights and no skirt Was more of a high-wire act then I had ever seen before Shock cannot even begin to describe the state of my mind. "But for the grace of God" said my sponsor "No" I said "It's a choice, they're sober now." "Oh yes" she remarked "Weren't you sober when you took on Every man with time, looking for a fight with each of them?" "I was cutting my chops. They understood." "Some of them didn't." said she "Weren't you sober when you dyed your hair red - but only half?" " I was afraid I'd dye my scalp, so I started lower." "Yes, but aren't you the one who says sudden hair color change Is a sign of instability in sobriety?" "Yes, I do." I replied "I think you would have fit in well with the circus. You and your two tone hair but you didn't hear it from me." "You're mean." "And what are you being?" "Judgmental." "That's my girl, what are we going to do about it?" "Be grateful, grateful I got in quick enough Grateful people let me work things out in these rooms. Grateful I still have something to learn from everyone. GRATEFUL." Vlog: http://youtu.be/WLX_uTL2hao You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-05-2015, 10:15 AM | #2509 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 4
One Singular Crowd Isolation among the isolators is replete with metaphor and theme. Expectation blithers loudly but is drown by the palpable inevitability of the outcome. I pirouette in a room filled with dancers but we do not touch, we just spin near one another full view but little contact. Yet I hear my heart beating in my ear and know that I am alive. The flush of neighboring cheeks attests to duplicate conditions there. We are moving together sometimes in harmony but other times in antipathy, dependant all the same. We are the army of independent meanings. Individual cases sharing one slender goal but that’s all that we need. If you can’t find the grape try some jelly. ~ THE BOAT On my ride home from work there's a boat stuck between two trees In the middle of a horse pasture Next to a riverbed so dry it's filled with grass. I think the boat is me. I feel for the boat every time I see it. Turned on edge, waiting for a river which doesn't exist anymore And may never exist again Placed on edge for protection, not comfort. Although having my bottom rot out Well, let's just say, might be more uncomfortable What good will I be even if the river runs again Since I'm fenced in? If my Higher Power has a plan If it includes a river and a fence If I'm in this plan, me, the row boat I just don't see it. Not seeing my purpose in life is a theme in my life Truth is, I don't want to face the fact, I might float away Even though I'm supported by two big trees Even though there is a tall fence around me. Completely in spite of the fact THERE IS NO WATER My Higher Power loves me. I AM THE BOAT Vlog: http://youtu.be/BXqTSzIuod4 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-05-2015, 11:05 AM | #2510 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 5
Time’s Temperament Bubbling tides of white water, time roils past me and my protests go unheard. Psychic feedback loops revisit raw moments to me with inopportune exactitude. The beautiful droplets of dawn rain down then evaporate leaving another day’s timeline to fan out before me. The alternating fury and jubilation of passing intervals leaves a challenge, first a question of bend or break, second a call to forecast. Can I flex or will I live in pieces? Shall I look at patterns and strive for harmonious waltz or turn my face from the calendar dreading each trice? Bully or benefactor time rolls. I can go with it or be under it that choice is mine. Orbit order ~ THE FLOCK Today I came to a place in the road covered with birds The nearby field - covered in birds - the trees covered. As I approached the birds took wing The flock responded to my presence Each bird flew - the sky darkened with their flight. Wave upon wave, boundaries intact Taking action in the face of obstacle. The gift of instinct displayed for me as I fly to my meeting My instinct rehab, I am learning my intuition My sponsor spoons it to me from the steps. I suck it down never knowing what it is about the process That makes me better Anymore then I know how grain and bugs make birds fly. I have theories, things I roll in my fingers when I'm nervous. I get glimmers. Things my Higher Power sparkles in my eyes for a treat. In truth, I don't know how, I don't need to know Anymore than birds need to know lift to weight ratios. When I respond to life events When I spend less time self-concerned I am closer to self. "Aren't we spiritually centered?" Quips my sponsor "Yes" I reply "One day in a row." "I'm going for the record." "That's all the birds have." "You're doing as well as they." she smiles and pats my back Vlog: http://youtu.be/27HKnEZb1Z4 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-06-2015, 09:32 AM | #2511 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 6
Hand Me Down Pain You have sent a cold thing into my heart it causes my feet to move me away from you. It need not be spoken of this is a thing of ice and lead. Words are no help here, action is the only cure. Eternity can be spent with a soul bisected by slivers. Stepping the willing way to joy and freedom seems so unlikely from this frosty local. Make my mind up I must. Close my eyes and move forward. I will leave your pain behind me I hope not to have to leave you. Kiss tiny pebbles and roll them away ~ HELP FROM STRANGE SOURCES I cannot get my mind wrapped around the places I find help. I struggle with believing I have been helped. I struggle with disbelief at my own resistance. I am helped daily by many tiny things seen and unseen. I realize now I was injured by the same tiny things. When I was misaligned with my Higher Power The sun rising, the tiny star I circle in this great nothingness It makes my whole day. The air hanging around just in case I need it, Which I often do. The people who live with me, a mean feat. The people who work with me. Those who exist here with me keep my ship on course, How sweet of them to do mostly right everyday of their lives, What a help that is. The whole ecosystem and all the weather What would I do without it? But this is on a good day, On a bad day, the sun is in my eyes and scorching my skin, The air is too still, or well, the wind is always a problem. And people, people are an endless plight, People do things to hurt, annoy and irritate me, Full intent, targeted to me, my life, my wants destroyed. Bugs seek me and I am followed by the darkest cloud, Everyday, all day, lurking. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR A SPONSOR AND A TENTH STEP Vlog: http://youtu.be/475YWS01jBM You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-07-2015, 08:28 AM | #2512 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 7
Dion Everything in the world happened before I was born and the cinders sift through my fingers. Accomplishing cohesion of the ashes is a goal I have not yet achieved. Cremains precious but meager are a difficult building material, shifting due to emotions and wind, I find they stick too well to my lungs and not well enough to anything else. Tears help, but I will not cry forever. I must draw from a fresh water source and wet the powdery scratch I have inherited and form the world anew. Use caution when interacting with the crème de la crème this may trigger intolerance * OLD GOLDFISH I got them when my sobriety was new. They were tiny little guys, ten cent feeders. I wanted my stepson to sleep soundly In our strange jumble of a home, fresh from purchase. The tank sat on a dresser under his elevated bed Space to fit my hand to feed them No space for baby boy to climb in I loved my goldfish. There is never a NO with goldfish Feed them as often as you want Let the water get cold Put them in a big space, small place, plants, no plants. NO was so hard, I hate and fear No. I am hard, fish are easy. Tears and mesmerizing aquarium Meetings and steps. I could not keep myself alive I don't know how I kept the fish fed. The program kept me going, Kept hope flowing and the fish swam. In this century when we are finally outliving wild goldfish We are sober together, By the grace of a Higher Power, in this century. It's been a wonderful time. I am grateful to be here with the goldfish. I am grateful the goldfish are here for me. Expecting so little Maybe I could return the favor Vlog: http://youtu.be/BVWOAXsGMBI You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-08-2015, 09:44 AM | #2513 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 8
Lathe Turning into a spin, the edge cuts into my misconceptions, the point sharp and accurate to a fault digs into the excess I carry around, keeping me from my useful purpose. A good eye and steady hand are needed lest breakthrough ruin me. Not that all is ever lost for a spoon with a hole in the bowl will stir a soup smooth. Relinquishing my burdens and trusting the carver’s tools and methods takes great commitment. I am carved commitment or no, but things turn out better when I don’t flinch. If you can’t make hay then mow the lawn * IN A BACKWATER There is a place so removed, uninspired, ignorance flourishes I hate to go there. I avoid it when I can Today I could not avoid it. Today I saw the gable end of a small barn Half hidden in the scrub trees. On the face of the gable end are two plywood cutouts They are large, taking up the major portion of the space. The first is a budgie, a bright blue parakeet, 7 or 8 feet tall. It is tilted to its side, it looks dyslexic but intriguing Above it is a cutout of a black guitar, similar in length. Hanging long ways across the top, almost from eve to eve. I don't know what it means. Why they are there. Who could have placed them. A story is there, Just sticking its tongue out at me. I can hardly bear it. I think of God and laugh. If my God has nothing better to do then tease me, I need a better God. I think of my Higher Power and wonder if the power is curious too. Am I overlapping a layer of consciousness I have no part in? Is this subliminal previews of my future? Am I too nosey for my own good? I just don't know It could be something all together different I have only time. Time will tell in the end it always does. I hate to wait Vlog: http://youtu.be/noWs8WCwREk You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-09-2015, 04:45 PM | #2514 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 9
Crestfallen “Whoa is me, I have crested the rise only to slide down the other side. Hard work and determination culminated in victory but alas it was short lived. Success is barely meaningful if it is permanent. Poor, poor dear, I will have to strive once more at the face of a new challenge or even worse might have to make another run at this one. How shall I ever bear it?” I lament, my sponsor smiles. “Are you learning to be amused at yourself or hoping to bring back melodrama to the everyman?” She queries. “A little of both I think, whining is a consolation to me,” I reply. “It’s nice that you’re not doing it at me, but even nicer that you have let your achievements teach you to laugh at your mishaps,” says my sponsor with a kiss to my forehead. Butter both sides of your intentions * BREAKING MY OWN GLASS The police of a small town caught a serial glass breaker today. The man who owned a plate glass repair shop Was breaking store front windows. I break my own. I go through my life, I slash my own tires And break my own glass. I fear continuity, stability, success. I love damage control, making arts and craft from my slivers and shards "Think what you could do with undamaged goods." Says my sponsor I don't know how to do anything with undamaged goods Except damage them or give them to others. "Saddest thing I've ever heard." she counters I can make a quilt from discarded clothes, mosaics from shattered dishes A collage from junk mail and rescue every stray on the block, See the potential in every person in a crowded hall And hold your hand and cheer you on. "What have you done for you lately?" my sponsor taunts She is making my point, what can I do for me? Search and destroy? Live outside myself? I have to be sober to be me, I can't go around making a mess Just so I have something familiar to wallow in. What if I can't do anything fresh? "Learn to market the retreads.' she says Vlog: http://youtu.be/Sy58821vXp4 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-10-2015, 06:17 PM | #2515 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 10
Hoarfrost On balmy evenings dew forms in my life and moistens my extremities. This friendly act requires the maintenance of temperature. If I become suddenly cool the landscape changes and the once welcoming vapor is now a show of crystalline rigidity. Cold to the morning light I am brittle and snap at even a tentative touch. For want of passion I have replaced it with definition and structure I can not absorb. I am outlined clearly but no longer myself. I am frozen, formally changed within and without. Warmth is necessary, but how to start my own fire? Learn, I must and quickly lest frostbite set in. Wear your mantle don’t leave it to the fireplace * LONELINESS EATS MY LUNCH There are days loneliness eats my lunch And I can't fight back. How can I stand it, How can it still be this bad? I pull out the old chestnuts. If I'm not happy with what I have How could I be happier with more? Even tickets on the 50 yard line don't interest me, I came to play. I think of other slogans, the tidbits, the smiles and hugs. I roll them around. Still, there are days my lunch is gulped down And I sit with my plate empty. Pickle juice, coleslaw drool is small comfort Actually, it's a jeer. I stare at my empty plate I turn and twist it, stick my tongue out at it. "Your good company," says my sponsor Then why am I alone, if I'm so good If my company is worthwhile Why do I sit here hungry and desperate? "Are you sure you are?" It sure feels that way. "Well, it might be true and it might not." I get it. I am unhooked from myself I am ignoring the multitude at my elbow While looking for someone in my lap I'm holding out for old terms from a new contract I am loved by people Who aren't trying to consume me And I am letting my expectations Dine for free. Vlog: http://youtu.be/drAZwaQK31A You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-11-2015, 06:03 PM | #2516 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 11
Pepo My father used to destroy a perfectly good watermelon by cutting a triangle in the top and pouring a bottle of vodka into it. I used to destroy my perfectly good melon the same way. Emulating bad ideas in new ways was a onetime pastime of mine. Giving it up was harder than I had expected. Flawed thinking blends so freely with my mental landscape I have trouble distinguishing it. Condemning the action and not the man is not usually my preferred method. I would rather condemn the man, but this leaves me with the actions in place and him long gone. And though I prefer him gone I will recreate him within myself if I don’t flush his actions as well. I have a good pumpkin on my shoulders but it is my job to keep it intact. No need to wait for joy, jump when you please * LIFE IS TOO GOOD I know it sounds crazy, is crazy But I hate having the fear, the gnawing gut, of WHAT IF WHAT IF I can't maintain this, the sober life I live. WHAT IF I get struck, unable to connect to my Higher Power? I had a spiritual awaking WHAT IF I get spiritual narcolepsy? My spiritual cord was cut when I was young, not by my choosing WHAT IF it gets cut again? "WHAT IF this line of thinking cuts it?" Asks my sponsor I hate when she's right. WHAT IF this is a test? Be like them or not. Follow the path of the twelve steps When there is no weight of need pushing me When everything is going in my direction I have to keep my eye on the ball for myself. I am still not God This is the lesson The abusers never learned The one I have to. What went wrong was not bad people Making bad choices, in bad circumstances It was disconnected people Making decisions without help. I have to stay in your pocket Never be a free bird I have to remember what true freedom is It's not being cut loose. I have had that And it never felt free Keep your eye on the ball And hold onto my hand. Vlog: http://youtu.be/zq1kwGdS8dI You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-12-2015, 04:37 PM | #2517 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 12
Live Bait Is being a taunt to others really a life? Dangling as the cover for a hook, luring intended and unintended to their deaths, is that living? Or if I draw you with my attack rather than my appeal is that a worthwhile existence? If I carry myself filled with poison praying for a strike is that anything other than a march to an unhappy grave for two, or more? Hidden under an avalanche of harassment strips me of my vital quality and my soul loses its true nature. I am allowed to transcend the setup of competition and social strife. It’s alright to be tempting with no agenda. I could be an appetizer if only I removed the barbs or better yet I could be dessert. Tuck tiny wishes between your toes. * JOY IS NOT ENOUGH I was driving around in my car Eating a meltingly ripe persimmon On the radio came a fiddle playing band Performing their rendition of In The White Room I was traveling with the three drafts of my first step Version one consisted of 690-some words And the final had only four, JOY IS NOT ENOUGH That's it, the whole thing. Today my life is unmanageable Due to the fact that having a balanced life Feeling my wide range of feelings, including joy, Is not sufficient to eliminate the pain and damage of the past. My horrific childhood has not healed Has not mended seamlessly I have joy today, everyday, at some point In proportion to my sober choices. I fail to realize the promise doesn't say, Heal the past It says, I will not regret the past. I don't, at least not any of the choices I made, Other peoples choices are not mine to regret. I will not wish to shut the door on the past And I don't wish to. I want it Healed I may not get my wish Just because I am doing my part to heal the past Doesn't make anyone else do it I can't strong-arm the perpetrators into recovery The way they strong-armed me into the abuse JOY IS NOT ENOUGH but it's a hell of a start. Vlog: http://youtu.be/qnr7COwlqqU You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
01-13-2015, 12:33 PM | #2518 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 13
Offset I often feel out of round and unmatched to my counterparts. Awkwardly I sit unable to strike a plausible pose. I want my asymmetry to seem chic. I feel a victim of universal ugliness and gracelessly plod through my days. Luckily offset thinking, the partner of my offset soul, saves me. I see that I am uniquely useful, like a screwdriver set at right angles for use where a straight one could not reach. I am counterbalance and compensation. I may be lateral but I am also collateral. I am an embellisher, beneficial in unexpected ways and shouldn’t seek to be inline with the multitude. I am the new growth, the spur to the future. Romance the noodles in your soup * GRAVITY WORKS ALL THE TIME Limits and boundaries are a drag I hate feeling tied to the ground I know I could fly If not for unseen forces I sense myself lightening, smoothing I drop my burdens, I pick up speed Fourth dimension Hell, I'm proverbial vapor trails I should explain, when I get moving this fast I inevitably wind myself into a position Where my head is up my nether regions A place it does not belong I have slowly grown to love my limits No restraint holds me back In reality, I am supported, rooted as it were I am not hydroponic, I can live in the real world I am me Encouraged by the wind and the rain I am not a hothouse flower I am truly free I can walk where I was born to walk I forget life has not been found outside my little world And when it is I am still better off being me Vlog: http://youtu.be/GX2RHrKvmT0 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
01-14-2015, 09:31 AM | #2519 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 14
Specks Spectacles are for specks; tiny things that must be watched. Commotion is nothing but a congregation of minutia with an audience. How many small things do I strain my eyes to see; then seek help to pursue further? Some of these are put on display fishing for voyeurs. Others are secreted away only to be ferreted out through magnification. Whether curiosity or contempt drives me to these pinpoints I must search my motives before I scan the plain. For truly if I am not careful I, myself will end up either speck or spectacle. Let old wood and old women inhabit the shoreline of your mind. * NO MAPS Maps have existed longer than I have By the time of my birth there was aerial photography Which had made pinpoint accuracy the norm. I can be tracked by satellite on my daily commute I can get a trip tic And travel to the far reaches of this continent "So what is your problem?" Asks my sponsor There is no map for where we've been going There are only the twelve steps, but after that- It is all uncharted territory except of course- For my families warnings about dragons 'Those critters stay to home mostly." She says "You have bigger things to worry about." So where's the map I need to know where to go. No Map, we go through this together The pitfalls are similar, sex and money There are a few others What each of us finds on this journey is uncharted Plus if you spend your time looking down You will miss the view. We prop each other up as we step off into the unknown And reel each other back If we start falling off the beam. How do I know if I'm doing it right "Are you still sober?" Yes, but I'm unsure. Lots of people are sober Right up until the time they're drunk "So true, it's all about motive." It's difficult to chart a heart "Do you have willingness?" Yes, you know I do. I have found that is the vehicle To everywhere, So., Learn to enjoy the ride. Vlog: http://youtu.be/dBXCKvL5f-Q You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
01-15-2015, 08:01 AM | #2520 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867 |
January 15
Comparison Shopping Cost analysis of the yeas and nays requires a savvy consumer. Every word has a variable price dependant on whom it is spoken to and when it is said. Some words charge compound interest and others pay dividends. Timing and delivery is of the utmost importance. Knowledge of the markets requires constant assessment. The risk to benefit ratio varies widely and the short term verses the long term price can flip the market from profit to loss. Hold my tongue, speak my mind, these must be weighed; the clock consulted and inventories taken. What I say and when can be less a matter of bull or bear than whether or not I can afford to be a sheep. Tap the wellspring of your heart. * FEEDING SQUIRRELS ON A ONE LANE BRIDGE Cattle-corn spread on a single lane bridge The Trap, Food or Safety There are plenty of other choices My disease sees none of them. Gluttony and danger the perfect combination How can I resist? Why would I resist? I have to have More. I cannot depend on my nature The ability God gave me to survive in my environs Help must come from outside And must be wild and dramatic. Inward help is boring Too subtle, too tiresome Where is my image? Where is my excitement? How am I going to prove my God worthy? Without too much Without perilous risk and rescue I can't. I can't prove my God My God doesn't need to prove anything to me. I can find my way off the beaten path Away from the prying eyes of rubberneckers. No cheers from the crowd are necessary I have the equipment, it comes standard When I take the controls And follow the twelve step tutorial. I should be able to manage just fine No Mack truck in my face As I stuff myself With ill gotten grain. Vlog: http://youtu.be/uXu2Cp6YYt8 You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
Tags |
12 step recovery, acoa, al-anon, alcoholic, alcoholics anonmyous, coda, on-line meeting |
|
|