Prince Charming? Pfft!

[fuzzypinkego]

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

[sweetfemme247]

I wonder the same thing, I have been in 5relationships and im 23.

[amiyesiam]

there is no such thing as perfect

no one else can complete you

no one else is responsible for saving you or being "your butch in shining armor"

relationships are work

if she cheated it was never perfect (unless she actually developed an illness, which is common in the late teens early twenties)

If you are not happy alone you will not be happy with someone

if you depend on someone else to make you happy you will probably suck the life out of them

you will never find some one who is "perfect for you" or perfect

passion and lust will get you through the first few years

complatability and commitment will get you through a life time

ya this took 2 minutes
47 and knew this stuff at 25

[Soft*Silver]

the problem with seeking a knight in shining armour or a Prince Charming, is that they only appear when you need rescued. And once you are no longer needy, they depart, for in them runs the blood of a rescuer.

Its ok to be picky. In fact, I advise you not to settle. In any way. 90% of your life sorrow will come from chosing the wrong mate.

The way that you find love is by empowering yourself. It will become your finest feature and will add beauty beyond the norm. They will look at you and be attracted to your fire. Stop looking for the magic outside of yourself, and start to seek and develop it inside of yourself. When that happens, aint no sinner gonna dupe you...

good luck in your journey...

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists? I was in love once, really in love, in a good healthy adult relationship, for about 2 years, that ended in 2007, and for the most part, I've been single since. We were engaged and I loved her and we were planning a life together, when out of the blue, she started to change, low and behold, I caught her cheating. She was an amazing blue print for what I want in a partner and in life (until she lost her damn mind) and I've been pretty much single ever since. I've done plenty of dating, even had some short lived romances here and there, but for almost the last 3 years, I have yet to find anyone that comes close to what I'm looking for.

Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm far too picky, but I start dating someone and it doesn't take long for me to realize they aren't my "butch in shining armor." I waded through the local dating pool and have outsourced on occasion, and only once did I fall again, boy was I wrong about that one.

People tell me I'm only 25 but hello! I'm 25! I'm about 3 years off track from my grand plan. I was supposed to be happily married with a big prego belly by now. Don't get me wrong, I've changed my plan and I love the direction my life is going now, I'm back in school, following my passion and excelling and I have started my own freelance business, but I'm still looking for my prince and I just keep kissing frogs.

How hard is it to find someone who is compatable with me? Or maybe I've just had soo many wonderful experiences that I can't settle for anything short of breathtaking? So how do I find it??

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

there is no such thing as perfect

no one else can complete you

no one else is responsible for saving you or being "your butch in shining armor"

relationships are work

if she cheated it was never perfect (unless she actually developed an illness, which is common in the late teens early twenties)

If you are not happy alone you will not be happy with someone

if you depend on someone else to make you happy you will probably suck the life out of them

you will never find some one who is "perfect for you" or perfect

passion and lust will get you through the first few years

complatability and commitment will get you through a life time

ya this took 2 minutes
47 and knew this stuff at 25

Ouch. Well that was harsh.

I don't need someone to complete me, just someone who's personality compliments my personality.
I don't need someone to save me, but I do appreciate chivalry.
I'm well aware that relationships are work, trust me.
I never said she was perfect, I said she was a blueprint, she taught me a lot about what I want in a relationship, in a partner, and from my future.
I love myself and I'm perfectly content being alone, I actually prefer being alone than being with the wrong person, I'm just looking for the right person.
I don't expect to find someone who is "perfect" but I think someone can be "perfect for me," even in their imperfections.
Who ways I have to sacrifice passion for complatability and commitment? Who says I can't have all 3?

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by softness

the problem with seeking a knight in shining armour or a Prince Charming, is that they only appear when you need rescued. And once you are no longer needy, they depart, for in them runs the blood of a rescuer.

Its ok to be picky. In fact, I advise you not to settle. In any way. 90% of your life sorrow will come from chosing the wrong mate.

The way that you find love is by empowering yourself. It will become your finest feature and will add beauty beyond the norm. They will look at you and be attracted to your fire. Stop looking for the magic outside of yourself, and start to seek and develop it inside of yourself. When that happens, aint no sinner gonna dupe you...

good luck in your journey...

You have quite the flair for words. I'm an artist, I'm spontaneous and passionate, I have quite the fire and I attract a lot of people to it. But I'm looking for the butterfly, not the moths. And moths are all I find. I joke with my friends that I'm a Damsel semi-distressed. God knows I can't fix a tire and have no idea what to do if I blow a fuse but my life? I've got that handled.

Yeah, the boi's with the hero complexes tend to bounce when I don't need constant saving, I think that's part of why my ex and I fell apart, sadly.

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

Ouch. Well that was harsh.

I don't need someone to complete me, just someone who's personality compliments my personality.
I don't need someone to save me, but I do appreciate chivalry.
I'm well aware that relationships are work, trust me.
I never said she was perfect, I said she was a blueprint, she taught me a lot about what I want in a relationship, in a partner, and from my future.
I love myself and I'm perfectly content being alone, I actually prefer being alone than being with the wrong person, I'm just looking for the right person.
I don't expect to find someone who is "perfect" but I think someone can be "perfect for me," even in their imperfections.
Who ways I have to sacrifice passion for complatability and commitment? Who says I can't have all 3?

It was not meant to be harsh, I am rarely harsh. I am however, realistic.
Your above comments, seem to be to be much more realistic than those in your original post. (that is my view and again not trying to be harsh) Also, you started your post with: "Do you ever wonder if that perfect relationship exists?"
I am not trying to argue with you just clarify.
I did not say sacifice passion for compatability and commitment. However I have a adult daughter and if you want long term commitment and a child, passion often does not die, there simply is not as much time for it. At that point the 2 c's is what gets people through everyday life till they have time for passion.

I truly hope you find everything you are looking for

[Odarlin]

perfect moments exist.

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by Odarlin

perfect moments exist.

on that point I must say that I completely agree. And those moments are priceless.

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Odarlin

perfect moments exist.

Oh yes, yes they do!

[Soft*Silver]

perfect moments are like orgasms. If I wait for someone else to give them to me, I am shifting the responsibility to the wrong person. I can share them with someone else but by god, you betcha I am not going to wait around for the magic to come from someone else...

[Hack]

I'm not going to give you relationship advice. I am not qualified to do that.

However, let me just share this thought, for what it is worth.

Scrap the grand plan.

In my view, life cannot be planned. Life happens. You can't plan it. You can't schedule it. You just have to deal with how it comes at you. In my opinion, having a grand plan just continually sets you up for disappointment. Live in the moment, or at least try to.

Jake

[sweetfemme247]

Im learning to let love come to me, im letting them chase me for once

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Hack

I'm not going to give you relationship advice. I am not qualified to do that.

However, let me just share this thought, for what it is worth.

Scrap the grand plan.

In my view, life cannot be planned. Life happens. You can't plan it. You can't schedule it. You just have to deal with how it comes at you. In my opinion, having a grand plan just continually sets you up for disappointment. Live in the moment, or at least try to.

Jake

This is great advice that I probabaly won't take, although I promise to try! I've always been a planner, I don't know how to not be a planner.

[Casanova]

Sometimes we all go thru this and sometimes we don't.
But however their is no such thing as a prince charming or fairy tales....
There is something known as a person that loves u unconditionally and that is a rare one...
It takes alot of time...
And it takes alot of tryn but u have to be willing to unconditionally love yourself also...
That is what most ppl can't do

[Hack]

Originally Posted by fuzzypinkego

This is great advice that I probabaly won't take, although I promise to try! I've always been a planner, I don't know how to not be a planner.

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

[fuzzypinkego]

Originally Posted by Hack

LOL

Fair enough. I think, though, you will reach a place in your life when you realize the plan is not grand nor important.

As I have aged, I have learned a few things, especially in the last few years. Life is, in general, an unpredictable mess, a journey during which sometimes your luggage is lost. Forgiveness is an art, and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. The only thing I ever hope to walk away with -- from anything -- is my self-respect and maybe a lesson learned. And saying three little words -- "I am sorry" is a lot harder to say for most people than "I love you."

Ok, now it sounds like I am pontificating. I don't mean to. I am just speaking from the "me" place.

Jake

Well I appreciate your "me" place!

[Selenay]

I've kissed a few princes, and I've kissed a few frogs. . . From that, I've learned a few things.

First? Sometimes the princes aren't so charming. Sometimes they're crude and crass, sometimes they're frustrating and stubborn. Sometimes those princes start off charming and are just plain mean.

Sometimes the princes don't know any more about what that round thingy in the toilet is than I do, sometimes they can make a mean souffle. Sometimes those princes are royal pain in the asses.

Sometimes they can fix your car, sometimes they drive it into the mailbox a few times.

Sometimes that prince turns out to be a toad, and sometimes that toad you've been pouring your heart out to is the shiniest prince of them all.


But me?

I don't want the princes, 'cause I've found that the knights in rusty armor are more my speed.

[Liquefaction]

The most important thing I have learned is you can not make anything happen. The more you push/try to make something happen, the harder it is to achieve.

[Isadora]

Prince Charming of Disney vein does not exist, therefore it is impossible to find. Humans tend to be full of contradictions, inconsistencies and are highly changeable. We are complex beings.

Goals are wonderful. Without them I would never have gotten my education, my career and live somewhere I love. I hope you have an adventurous journey and amiyesiam has a point in that it is your journey. Everyone else involved with it are travel companions. Some more intimate than others.

Personally, I believe more and more in fate. I really have no other explanation of how life can ummm re-arrange our goals. It just happens. Mostly cause we have no control over the feelings, choices and actions of others. We can ruminate, extol the virtues of life planning but truly the only thing you control is your own choices. I set goals and completed them but in that process I learned that life dances us into amazing places. I went from convent to leather and corsets. I went from virgin to sexually adventureous. Who woulda known?

So never ever give up hope for what you seek. I have more than I ever dreamed of having in my life. I am sure you will have the same!