PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

I'm having a symptom-y week. It's nice out which helps, but memories running around in my head, hypervigilant and in very fight or flight mode.

Earlier I hear someone calling my name, no one around...which creeps me out to no end. My therapist says as long as I know no one is there and I am just hearing voices, not believing in them its OK.....but still....Creepy.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Apocalipstic,

The person who showed up at my door unannounced (no call, emails, etc.) I kicked her out. Never to return - thank God above. The only problem is the constant gossip that continues on. Do you remember the game we used to play as kids called "telephone"? It is like that.

As for the hearing your name called - it is a part of what is called learning/auditory processing delay. Some folks actually wear hearing aids for help with this. It isn't tinnitus, it is something totally different.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Apocalipstic,

The person who showed up at my door unannounced (no call, emails, etc.) I kicked her out. Never to return - thank God above. The only problem is the constant gossip that continues on. Do you remember the game we used to play as kids called "telephone"? It is like that.

As for the hearing your name called - it is a part of what is called learning/auditory processing delay. Some folks actually wear hearing aids for help with this. It isn't tinnitus, it is something totally different.

On the gossip, I like to think that at least I am being talked about and not forgotten. People who know you know its crap..and yes, it is totally like Telephone. I am finally getting to the point I care not!

I need to look up that auditory processing delay, never heard of it. Thank you.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I have it. I would like to afford the hearing aids, but they are out of my budget. There is a book you can read on it called "What the brain can't hear" or something close to that. It is just about this disorder.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I have it. I would like to afford the hearing aids, but they are out of my budget. There is a book you can read on it called "What the brain can't hear" or something close to that. It is just about this disorder.

I just read about it and have for a while been thinking about getting a hearing aid, even though my hearing tests normal.

I have to ask people to repeat over and over what they are saying. I have almost every symptom listed in the articles, except I read very well and have ease with languages except spelling and typos (but that is because I go too fast and can't see the spellcheck thingie, unless I go back and edit.)

I wish people had known about this stuff when I was a kid. Seriously.
They just thought I was not applying myself. It makes me angry.

What the artcles I read did not mention is hearing voices. Is this a part of it?

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes, that is part of it. Do you have seizures? It can be from the kind of seizures you have as well. It is called Partial Complex Seizures. I know my life would have been so different if we were treated back then instead of struggling all the time. Every thing is a struggle. I told someone once that I feel like I am on the sidelines of life while everyone else is on the playing field. They are able to keep moving up and have the options and things in life that I can only dream of.

[Canela]

Hi everyone!

So good to see you out and posting today! This is my first stop when I come in here...I look forward to it...watching us, share, learn, help, support, nurture, vent and all that we do...I feel more at home here than anywhere else...I post in others, but this has become my home thread, if you will....

As for the basket, that is so fabulous that you all are thinking about contributing...no gift too small, homemade is so special, I'm thinking of adding a jewelry set I've made as well as the pampering stuff...It sounds cool to me...

Apocalipstic, I hope you meant that comment for me about heaading up this basket donation cuz I am willing and ready and able...(I am already thinking of other things to add...)lol...

Andrew, hi brother! I missed you...Jet, glad to see you sharing again...Princess4U snaps to you, you're awesome! Braedon, I thank you for the hug back....I love hugs...Ima hug everybody when I see you (if/when) I see you at the reunion if y'all make it...

Apocalipstic, thanks for your thread and an opportunity to voice, vent, rant, encourage, respond and share here...you done good...(hope that doesn't sound condescending...)

Love, hugs and many blessings to you all--
Little Shug

[Semantics]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I'm having a symptom-y week. It's nice out which helps, but memories running around in my head, hypervigilant and in very fight or flight mode.

Earlier I hear someone calling my name, no one around...which creeps me out to no end. My therapist says as long as I know no one is there and I am just hearing voices, not believing in them its OK.....but still....Creepy.

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

What the artcles I read did not mention is hearing voices. Is this a part of it?

It could be auditory hallucinations, which can be a symptom of the PTSD.
There are specific treatments for auditory hallucinations and hopefully your therapist can help you.

[Rook]

I sympathize with the auditory hallucination issue...
However...
I can safely say, you're gonna have a helluva ride finding decent hearing aids, especially if you hear quite alright, Unless u manage to get medical clearance {your psychologist/psychiatrist, for example, could recommend or prescribe a low dB hearing aid, inner ear type}
I'm profoundly Deaf, and I have a really...fucked up dandy time getting medical/insurance approval for 1, every 4 years [ they happily talk about cochlear implant, but that's a different issue, different thread ]

I do wish you good luck, if they say that'll help you.

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Apocalipstic,

The person who showed up at my door unannounced (no call, emails, etc.) I kicked her out. Never to return - thank God above. The only problem is the constant gossip that continues on. Do you remember the game we used to play as kids called "telephone"? It is like that.

I am so glad that this person has not stepped foot in your house again Andrew, you certainly dont need that kind of person in your life

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

On the gossip, I like to think that at least I am being talked about and not forgotten. People who know you know its crap..and yes, it is totally like Telephone. I am finally getting to the point I care not!

I wanted to highlight that one part of your post hun because I am getting to this point as well, its taken Me awhile but better late than never

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yes, that is part of it. Do you have seizures? It can be from the kind of seizures you have as well. It is called Partial Complex Seizures. I know my life would have been so different if we were treated back then instead of struggling all the time. Every thing is a struggle. I told someone once that I feel like I am on the sidelines of life while everyone else is on the playing field. They are able to keep moving up and have the options and things in life that I can only dream of.

I feel this way all the time Andrew, glad to know I'm not alone!!!

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Hi everyone!

So good to see you out and posting today! This is my first stop when I come in here...I look forward to it...watching us, share, learn, help, support, nurture, vent and all that we do...I feel more at home here than anywhere else...I post in others, but this has become my home thread, if you will....

Andrew, hi brother! I missed you...Jet, glad to see you sharing again...Princess4U snaps to you, you're awesome! Braedon, I thank you for the hug back....I love hugs...Ima hug everybody when I see you (if/when) I see you at the reunion if y'all make it...

Love, hugs and many blessings to you all--
Little Shug

I would love to go but due to finances, I don't see that happening however if I could go I would be very disappointed if I didn't get a hug

[Canela]

Oh sorry, and hello to Apocalipstic and Rook--hadn't seen you around but I'm glad you're here, too...Have a great evening y'all...I'm trying to go to bed, but that inhalor they gave me makes me jittery and a little hyper so I am just lurking and trying to get sleepy cuz I need some sleep! The inhalor raises my blood pressure a little and I get fussy, like now, my puppy is irritating me and there's nothing to watch on the tv that captures my attention...geez....what is this...I need some chamomile tea...yeah..

Braedon, I wish you could come...maybe let's pray about it...and see what's in store for you...I promise if you make it and I make it, Ima give everybody here a hug...I already told my hunny...hy's okay with it...lol...

Good night all! God bless you greatly.

Love, Shug

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Braedon, I wish you could come...maybe let's pray about it...and see what's in store for you...I promise if you make it and I make it, Ima give everybody here a hug...I already told my hunny...hy's okay with it...lol...

Good night all! God bless you greatly.

Love, Shug

(((((((((((((Shug)))))))))))) If we could both make it I look forward to a hug, and I'm glad your honey is okay with it

[Random]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

FF,

My father tells anyone who cries that they are cry babies. I actually had to look it up in the dictionary to figure out what he was saying. It wasn't in there. I ended up asking my older brother what our father was telling us. My brother told me to just ignore him.

My father is dying a very slow, death. I just pity him. He is not a man, but a weak human being. He can throw anything my way, and I just catch it and throw it back to him. Let him deal with it because I am long done playing that game.

Life is for the living, and to be lived.

Andrew

Andrew.. Do you still have contact with this person?

Actually, that is a question I often wonder... Do people keep their abusers in their life.. and if so.. why?

*Not just idle curiousity... I just go the other way.. I handle things by dissociation *

[Andrew, Jr.]

The only reason my bio-father is in my life is due to my mother. I cherish her, and the the ground she walks on. I only see her once a year, and that is not nearly enough, but that is due to my father.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yes, that is part of it. Do you have seizures? It can be from the kind of seizures you have as well. It is called Partial Complex Seizures. I know my life would have been so different if we were treated back then instead of struggling all the time. Every thing is a struggle. I told someone once that I feel like I am on the sidelines of life while everyone else is on the playing field. They are able to keep moving up and have the options and things in life that I can only dream of.

No seizures. Just voices.

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Hi everyone!

So good to see you out and posting today! This is my first stop when I come in here...I look forward to it...watching us, share, learn, help, support, nurture, vent and all that we do...I feel more at home here than anywhere else...I post in others, but this has become my home thread, if you will....

As for the basket, that is so fabulous that you all are thinking about contributing...no gift too small, homemade is so special, I'm thinking of adding a jewelry set I've made as well as the pampering stuff...It sounds cool to me...

Apocalipstic, I hope you meant that comment for me about heaading up this basket donation cuz I am willing and ready and able...(I am already thinking of other things to add...)lol...

Andrew, hi brother! I missed you...Jet, glad to see you sharing again...Princess4U snaps to you, you're awesome! Braedon, I thank you for the hug back....I love hugs...Ima hug everybody when I see you (if/when) I see you at the reunion if y'all make it...

Apocalipstic, thanks for your thread and an opportunity to voice, vent, rant, encourage, respond and share here...you done good...(hope that doesn't sound condescending...)

Love, hugs and many blessings to you all--
Little Shug

I did mean you!
and thank you!

Originally Posted by Semantics

It could be auditory hallucinations, which can be a symptom of the PTSD.
There are specific treatments for auditory hallucinations and hopefully your therapist can help you.

We are working on it. I was having visual hallucinations too and those have mostly stopped for now.

Originally Posted by Rook

I sympathize with the auditory hallucination issue...
However...
I can safely say, you're gonna have a helluva ride finding decent hearing aids, especially if you hear quite alright, Unless u manage to get medical clearance {your psychologist/psychiatrist, for example, could recommend or prescribe a low dB hearing aid, inner ear type}
I'm profoundly Deaf, and I have a really...fucked up dandy time getting medical/insurance approval for 1, every 4 years [ they happily talk about cochlear implant, but that's a different issue, different thread ]

I do wish you good luck, if they say that'll help you.

I am hoping it is just part of my PTSD,
If it keep happening I will ask for more testing. Thank you

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Oh sorry, and hello to Apocalipstic and Rook--hadn't seen you around but I'm glad you're here, too...Have a great evening y'all...I'm trying to go to bed, but that inhalor they gave me makes me jittery and a little hyper so I am just lurking and trying to get sleepy cuz I need some sleep! The inhalor raises my blood pressure a little and I get fussy, like now, my puppy is irritating me and there's nothing to watch on the tv that captures my attention...geez....what is this...I need some chamomile tea...yeah..

Braedon, I wish you could come...maybe let's pray about it...and see what's in store for you...I promise if you make it and I make it, Ima give everybody here a hug...I already told my hunny...hy's okay with it...lol...

Good night all! God bless you greatly.

Love, Shug

I hate inhalers or anything speedy. I hope today you feel way better!
yeay for chamomile!

Originally Posted by Braedon

(((((((((((((Shug)))))))))))) If we could both make it I look forward to a hug, and I'm glad your honey is okay with it

I am 46 and just now learning not to care.

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

Andrew.. Do you still have contact with this person?

Actually, that is a question I often wonder... Do people keep their abusers in their life.. and if so.. why?

*Not just idle curiousity... I just go the other way.. I handle things by dissociation *

Before I did separate myself from my father, I did not understand that I was strong enough to walk away. I stayed out of fear and some weird sense of duty.

Abusers are often manipulative, so many probably do not know why they stay.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

The only reason my bio-father is in my life is due to my mother. I cherish her, and the the ground she walks on. I only see her once a year, and that is not nearly enough, but that is due to my father.

Does he treat her like he does you?

[Random]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Before I did separate myself from my father, I did not understand that I was strong enough to walk away. I stayed out of fear and some weird sense of duty.

Abusers are often manipulative, so many probably do not know why they stay.

I can somewhat understand that..

For me... I shut down.. I distance myself... The more *broke* I feel, the more *fragile* I am.. The more distant and cold I become.. Instinctive self protection.. If I can't feel anything, then nothing can hurt me.. Memories have no sway, words have no meaning... nothing touches me... For me.. sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing... If I shut down too hard, too fast, it can take months for me to be able to feel anything again..

But for me... Not feeling is better than crazy time...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

I can somewhat understand that..

For me... I shut down.. I distance myself... The more *broke* I feel, the more *fragile* I am.. The more distant and cold I become.. Instinctive self protection.. If I can't feel anything, then nothing can hurt me.. Memories have no sway, words have no meaning... nothing touches me... For me.. sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing... If I shut down too hard, too fast, it can take months for me to be able to feel anything again..

But for me... Not feeling is better than crazy time...

My experience has been pretty similar. We all develop different coping mechanisms and for me distancing works. Even as a kid, when I had no choice but to ge where I was (or kill myself ,someone else or run away) I buried myself in books and music and art. I escaped.

Today in therapy we discussed how this inertia...this inability to act has actually served me well.

I am not dead or in jail.

[Random]

*Nods*......

Alive and not in jail is a very good thing...

[Andrew, Jr.]

Oh, my father is mean, nasty, and has a razor sharp tongue. It doesn't matter if he knows you or not. He just says whatever he is thinking to whomever. It is very embarassing at times. He is very sick mentally.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Oh, my father is mean, nasty, and has a razor sharp tongue. It doesn't matter if he knows you or not. He just says whatever he is thinking to whomever. It is very embarassing at times. He is very sick mentally.

So he treats your mother as bad as he does you?

I often wonder why my mother stayed with my father. The church I guess?