For those for whom Mother's Day is not a Good Day - Page 2

evolveme · 05-04-2010, 10:43 PM

Synchronistic, maybe, that I accidentally clicked the BFP thumbnail on Google Chrome and saw this thread had been started. I'd just completed an obituary and vital record search on my mother from one set of sites (something I do from time to time) and was about to try others, because I don't know where-or-if she is. (I've a feeling that she isn't.) And occasionally, like tonight, the thought of her rises up in me, and I feel an absence like a chasm. Like a space I cannot breach or bridge. That no kind of knowing will mend. It isn't that I wish to be in her life, or to have her in mine (I know that I cannot), but I suffer an ache at the idea of not knowing when she will die.

Here is something I've written about this process:

Already Haunted

I wonder when she dies
if I will know--
whether an absence will open in me,
a void shaped by her past or departing
energies--
or if anyone will know to write me.

Whether she will have left mad instructions
scrawled on a yellow legal pad
like the year of her other almost suicide:
36 hours before they found her,
naked,
unconscious,
the Comfort Inn.

How she'd signed over her car title to someone,
wanted me to have her antique pieces
and two framed and matted cross-stitched angels
(how she loved them),

but more likely now:
an angry, cursing letter,
a reminder how like my father I am--
a distortion: calling me his name, her mother's name,
someone else long dead--

or nothing at all

no phone call
no notice
no cold breath
no sense of her gone

only the still present question of her,
of whether and when
she'll finally and for the last time
just leave me.

jjordanavritt ©

ruthie14 · 05-05-2010, 04:13 AM

(((evolveme))) May you find peace.

Lillie · 05-05-2010, 09:22 AM

I do not celebrate this day for anyone in particular. My own mother (aka egg doner) abandoned me and my 2 siblings when I was 16 months old. My father raised us and of course remarried 2 more times. I never called anyone MOTHER my entire life. I am 42. I was told by my family (after I came out) that I was a lesbian because I sought a "woman" influence!..this has infuriated me for many years. I am lesbian because it is how I was born..period end of story. I am the mother of 2 and because of them I had to recognize this day for them. When they were younger I appreciated all the handmade cards the schools assist them in making and the ones they made on their own. I am a mother because of them. I am a woman because of my father!..he was the one who was there through all my doubts..through all my troubles and held me when I cried for her..I am shaped as a woman by many of the woman I have met in my life. I had an amazing grandmother who was a strong independant stubborn woman!..I believe I am most like her. I was shaped by my older sister..who was not a strong woman and who allowed people to walk all over her because she sought the guidance of a woman who never came back for her. I side stepped alot of trouble because I watched the torment my sister went through. I am alot like my aunt barbara, she is an amazing woman who has survived (as did I) a death of a child..only not allowing it to break her spirit but allowed her to love more deeply the children god left for her!..I am like my kindergarten teacher..Ms nathan..who snuck me raisin bran cereal and oreo cookies because she always thought I was to tiny!..I am like my first RN who was an absolute bitch but told me "you will never like me, but you will always remember everything I teach you"..holy shit was she right on!..I am like my meemy..she was a woman who did everything she ever wanted to do in her life..she lived to the age of 90 and had only one regret..her and I could no longer go to saturday morning movies together!..

Soo..I have always believed I am most like the woman who have walked in and out of my life. I love woman who are strong, powerful in love, independant, stubborn, compassionate and who love themselves for it. So on sunday I celebrate THEM..all of them.

BUT on fathers day I celebrate the ONE and ONLY man other then my son who has my heart!..because without him..I would not be the woman I am today!..I love you dad!..and thank you for being you!

lillie

cinderella · 05-05-2010, 09:46 AM

e, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you had to live this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by evolveme

Synchronistic, maybe, that I accidentally clicked the BFP thumbnail on Google Chrome and saw this thread had been started. I'd just completed an obituary and vital record search on my mother from one set of sites (something I do from time to time) and was about to try others, because I don't know where-or-if she is. (I've a feeling that she isn't.) And occasionally, like tonight, the thought of her rises up in me, and I feel an absence like a chasm. Like a space I cannot breach or bridge. That no kind of knowing will mend. It isn't that I wish to be in her life, or to have her in mine (I know that I cannot), but I suffer an ache at the idea of not knowing when she will die.

Here is something I've written about this process:

Already Haunted

I wonder when she dies
if I will know--
whether an absence will open in me,
a void shaped by her past or departing
energies--
or if anyone will know to write me.

Whether she will have left mad instructions
scrawled on a yellow legal pad
like the year of her other almost suicide:
36 hours before they found her,
naked,
unconscious,
the Comfort Inn.

How she'd signed over her car title to someone,
wanted me to have her antique pieces
and two framed and matted cross-stitched angels
(how she loved them),

but more likely now:
an angry, cursing letter,
a reminder how like my father I am--
a distortion: calling me his name, her mother's name,
someone else long dead--

or nothing at all

no phone call
no notice
no cold breath
no sense of her gone

only the still present question of her,
of whether and when
she'll finally and for the last time
just leave me.

jjordanavritt ©

ruthie14 · 05-05-2010, 07:23 PM

I work in a daycare.. today .. lots of pregnant mommies. Difficult for me to see most days but around now, really really hard to deal with.

Lady Pamela · 05-05-2010, 07:43 PM

My mom transended exactly 3 years ago today...Mothers day is very beautiful because of my children and also because my motther sooo dearly cherrished it..but due to her passing so close to it it has added a sadness for sure.

Today is simply a hard day.

ruthie14 · 05-05-2010, 07:46 PM

((((Lady Pamela))))

Oiler41 · 05-05-2010, 08:02 PM

I don't really get too down on Mother's day anymore, but I do get reflective. I lost mom in July of 2007 after a very short bout with cancer (7 weeks diagnosis to death).

There are certainly things in my life that I wish she was here to share with me, and some that I'm glad she didn't live to see; For that first year, I felt a lot like an orphan having lost my dad in 1985 and really feeling like there was nowhere to call home.

But these days, I hear a song, see a bird, hold something of hers in my hand, or see a gift she gave me over the years and my thoughts drift back to a different time when she was still here. She wasn't perfect, but then again, none of us are. When she was dying, we talked about how she raised us. She said "Well, they don't give you a book about how to raise kids when you have them; you just have to do the best you can with what you have". I told her then that she had done well in raising us.

I do miss her still; some days more than others. She comes to visit fairly regularly,,those who know me know what I mean. My thoughts to all who struggle with the loss of their mother or the absence of her in your lives.

Glynn

Unndunn · 05-05-2010, 10:14 PM

This will be the first Mother's Day without my mother and it's been bothering me quite a bit. My dad died in 2007 and then my mother died Aug. 11, 2009. The thing that bothers me the most is that ads for Mother's Day are everywhere. You can't escape them by reading the news, watching tv or even driving in your car. It has made me think a lot about how difficult it all must make it for young children who have lost their mothers. I'm an adult and I'm struggling. To be quite honest, I'll be happy when Mother's Day is over.

ruthie14 · 05-06-2010, 05:17 PM

((((unndunn))))))

Cowboi · 05-06-2010, 07:30 PM

My Momma died March 3, 1993. Mothers day always makes me sad.

To my Momma, The Yellow Rose of Texas!!! I miss you!
Love always, your little Tomboi!

05-06-2010, 07:59 PM

has become just another day to me. I have not spoken to my bio-mom for almost 3.5 years. She was the best person she knew how to be as we grew up. She was 15 when she got pregnant and honestly I think she blamed me for her missing out on her teen years etc, There was always some type of issue regarding me with her. I left home at 15 and moved in with my Paternal Grandparents. That was to me my mom & dad. I have lost them both due to cancer and various other medical stuff. I miss my Grandma really bad, some days are good some days are bad - However I know she was sick and is in a far better place. This Mother's day will not be a day for me to remember a woman who simply gave birth to me (my bio-mom) But I will think back on all the wonderful things my Grandma said, did and taught me throughout our time together.
Her advice to me was always " Chin up and chest out" Gawd I used to cringe and roll my eyes at her only for us to both laugh.
She assisted my fetish with Boy George - bought me the clothes only to tell me " You know someday you are going to act like him" --- Go Figure Gram! *LOL*

When I told her I was into women, that I was gay and and not going to be the typical grand-daughter many would expect me to be.... She stood by me...hugged me and told me she loved me.... Then again as I look back she lit 2 cig's and was smoking them both she was so nervous. LOL I would go get my hair cut and she would call the hair lady and tell her " Dont let her cut her hair that short again, leave the curls" - I had to sit her down and calmly explain - Gram I am 30 - I want to cut my hair my way (which I did) but she still called....LOL

I wish I could call her and say hello or what a wonderful women I think she truly is - Then again, I wish I could call her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day on Sunday - I cant obviously but I can and will remember our times.

So Happy Mothers Day to anyone out there who is deserving of a title such as Mother.

Remember anyone can have a child - but it takes a real lady in my opinion to be a Mother.

ruthie14 · 05-07-2010, 04:09 AM

((((Cowboi))))) (((((Toxic)))))))

Miss Scarlett · 05-07-2010, 04:42 AM

The other day I bought 2 Mother's Day cards. One for Shelia's mother and one for my stepmother. I cannot express how difficult it was to buy the one for my stepmother. I could not bring myself to get her anything mushy or cute but I wanted to acknowledge her somehow. It says "Wishing you a wonderful and happy Mother's Day."

My Mom would have expected this from me out of respect to my stepmother but that did not make it any easier.

Still I felt guilty, like I was betraying Mom or something.

I'm not going to the cemetery this weekend. I will go next weekend. We always celebrated Mother's Day and Mom's birthday on the weekend between the two dates.

ruthie14 · 05-08-2010, 08:46 AM

(((Miss Scarlett))))

Going out to try to take my mind off things. Keep myself busy. This will be a hard day... Mother's day is everywhere... and I always seem hyperaware of kids and moms and pregnant women in particular. They seem to come out of the woodwork.

Will keep us all in my prayers for Strength and peace.

Glenn · 05-08-2010, 11:05 AM

[QUOTE=ruthie14;98451][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I have a very hard time with Mother's day. I was never able to have any children of my own and My stepchildren no longer talk to me , even though I raised them when NO one else wanted them. If it wasn't for my own mother I would just hybernate for the day. As it approaches, I get increasingly depressed and weepy.

Dear Ruthie; I visited my mother nearly everyday in her old age and helped take care of her in her last days, often doing what the nurses would'nt. My ex-wife complained about it but all I said to her was "She is my mother, she brought me in the world and did her best with the little she had to take care of me, and now I'm going to help take care of her!" And that is what I did, and what we all should for good mothers/stepmothers if we could. Anything less is shameful and anyone who does otherwise I have no respect for.

ruthie14 · 05-08-2010, 02:13 PM

Thanks for the support Popcorninthesofa !

As far as your ex not understanding about your desire to take care of your mother, I'm sure that is one of the reasons she is your ex. That would have made me crazy. My mother and I just bought a house together.. she makes me crazy.. but I wouldn't want her alone as she is getting older.

BornBronson · 05-08-2010, 08:10 PM

I really don't know if Mother's Day is a good day or a bad day for me,yet.It certainly is a strange day for me,I will give it that.

My mother is dead,and when that date on the calendar rolls around I usually take a walk out to the family cemetery and stay there for an hour or so.Just remembering all the memories we shared together,the good and bad.I had her remains cremated and brought her ashes here to be laid next to her father and mother.When I dug a hole what now seems like three very long years ago I knew what I was burying was not my mother..but,well,ash.There are others I have 'laid to rest' in that cemetery,and when Mother's Day comes around for them,I will see flowers and stuffed animals left behind from their visiting family members.I gave those sort of things to my mother while she was living.

ruthie14 · 05-09-2010, 10:42 AM

How is everyone doing?

I'm not doing too badly. A friend sent me a lovely thinking of you card. Mom is out getting a mani and pedi, so good for a little while. She loved the rosebush I got her for mother's day.

On the flip side, Mom brought up memories of my sisters boy when he was a baby. That was hard to hear and keep smiling. I don't think she thinks before she speaks sometimes. Checked my email and nothing from the my stepkids. No texts, no card, no phone call. I just don't exist for them anymore. I feel very empty and sad. Forgotten. All the years of love, nuturing and sacrifice, and I am forgotten.

Strappie · 05-09-2010, 10:50 AM

(((((HUGS))))) to all the people that don't have mom's to thank and love today!!

But your mom is in your heart and soul, never forget that!!

05-04-2010, 10:43 PM	#21
evolveme Member How Do You Identify?: honeysuckle venom Preferred Pronoun?: a pistol and a sugar cane Relationship Status: I promise to aid and abet Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in between poems where ceilings are floors and joe ghost floats achromatic toward day Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 229 Thanked 737 Times in 228 Posts Rep Power: 288948	Synchronistic, maybe, that I accidentally clicked the BFP thumbnail on Google Chrome and saw this thread had been started. I'd just completed an obituary and vital record search on my mother from one set of sites (something I do from time to time) and was about to try others, because I don't know where-or-if she is. (I've a feeling that she isn't.) And occasionally, like tonight, the thought of her rises up in me, and I feel an absence like a chasm. Like a space I cannot breach or bridge. That no kind of knowing will mend. It isn't that I wish to be in her life, or to have her in mine (I know that I cannot), but I suffer an ache at the idea of not knowing when she will die. Here is something I've written about this process: Already Haunted I wonder when she dies if I will know-- whether an absence will open in me, a void shaped by her past or departing energies-- or if anyone will know to write me. Whether she will have left mad instructions scrawled on a yellow legal pad like the year of her other almost suicide: 36 hours before they found her, naked, unconscious, the Comfort Inn. How she'd signed over her car title to someone, wanted me to have her antique pieces and two framed and matted cross-stitched angels (how she loved them), but more likely now: an angry, cursing letter, a reminder how like my father I am-- a distortion: calling me his name, her mother's name, someone else long dead-- or nothing at all no phone call no notice no cold breath no sense of her gone only the still present question of her, of whether and when she'll finally and for the last time just leave me. jjordanavritt © __________________ Class, race, sexuality, gender and all other categories by which we categorize and dismiss each other need to be excavated from the inside. - Dorothy Allison

05-05-2010, 09:22 AM	#23
Lillie Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl,princess,her, that girl, she! but mostly just "babygirl" Relationship Status: single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: In the land of milk and honey!.. Posts: 358 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 474 Times in 182 Posts Rep Power: 454631	I do not celebrate this day for anyone in particular. My own mother (aka egg doner) abandoned me and my 2 siblings when I was 16 months old. My father raised us and of course remarried 2 more times. I never called anyone MOTHER my entire life. I am 42. I was told by my family (after I came out) that I was a lesbian because I sought a "woman" influence!..this has infuriated me for many years. I am lesbian because it is how I was born..period end of story. I am the mother of 2 and because of them I had to recognize this day for them. When they were younger I appreciated all the handmade cards the schools assist them in making and the ones they made on their own. I am a mother because of them. I am a woman because of my father!..he was the one who was there through all my doubts..through all my troubles and held me when I cried for her..I am shaped as a woman by many of the woman I have met in my life. I had an amazing grandmother who was a strong independant stubborn woman!..I believe I am most like her. I was shaped by my older sister..who was not a strong woman and who allowed people to walk all over her because she sought the guidance of a woman who never came back for her. I side stepped alot of trouble because I watched the torment my sister went through. I am alot like my aunt barbara, she is an amazing woman who has survived (as did I) a death of a child..only not allowing it to break her spirit but allowed her to love more deeply the children god left for her!..I am like my kindergarten teacher..Ms nathan..who snuck me raisin bran cereal and oreo cookies because she always thought I was to tiny!..I am like my first RN who was an absolute bitch but told me "you will never like me, but you will always remember everything I teach you"..holy shit was she right on!..I am like my meemy..she was a woman who did everything she ever wanted to do in her life..she lived to the age of 90 and had only one regret..her and I could no longer go to saturday morning movies together!.. Soo..I have always believed I am most like the woman who have walked in and out of my life. I love woman who are strong, powerful in love, independant, stubborn, compassionate and who love themselves for it. So on sunday I celebrate THEM..all of them. BUT on fathers day I celebrate the ONE and ONLY man other then my son who has my heart!..because without him..I would not be the woman I am today!..I love you dad!..and thank you for being you! lillie __________________ *Lillie* *The most expensive jewels I ever wore around my neck was my child's arms* http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z...orizontal3.jpg http://s338.photobucket.com/albums/n...sexy/00033.gif

05-05-2010, 07:43 PM	#26
Lady Pamela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A Lady..Femme..Free Spirit with a touch of survivalist woman in me. Preferred Pronoun?: Spiritual Warrior..She Ra..Baby Doll, or anything close..ha! Relationship Status: In perfect love and perfect trust I believe that will be directed..for now Just friends in my life. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Live in Utah but take trips to Arkansas. Plan to move there eventually. Posts: 2,579 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,073 Thanked 5,939 Times in 1,609 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My mom transended exactly 3 years ago today...Mothers day is very beautiful because of my children and also because my motther sooo dearly cherrished it..but due to her passing so close to it it has added a sadness for sure. Today is simply a hard day. __________________ Believe what people show you the first time. It will keep you in balance, and will show you truth! ~~ Author unknown ~~ When negative thoughts come to mind, Let them die stillborn. Speak and do posotive in any situation, And watch your dreams grow and flurish. If you can't say anything posotive, Zip it up. Do not give birth to that which you do not want to see grow. See it, Believe it, Own it, Have it! ~~ Lady Pamela ~~

05-06-2010, 07:30 PM	#31
Cowboi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Holding My Red Circle Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,051 Thanked 3,962 Times in 1,230 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	My Momma died March 3, 1993. Mothers day always makes me sad. To my Momma, The Yellow Rose of Texas!!! I miss you! Love always, your little Tomboi! __________________ Let There Be Cowgirls

05-06-2010, 07:59 PM	#32
ToXiC Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Mother's Day.... has become just another day to me. I have not spoken to my bio-mom for almost 3.5 years. She was the best person she knew how to be as we grew up. She was 15 when she got pregnant and honestly I think she blamed me for her missing out on her teen years etc, There was always some type of issue regarding me with her. I left home at 15 and moved in with my Paternal Grandparents. That was to me my mom & dad. I have lost them both due to cancer and various other medical stuff. I miss my Grandma really bad, some days are good some days are bad - However I know she was sick and is in a far better place. This Mother's day will not be a day for me to remember a woman who simply gave birth to me (my bio-mom) But I will think back on all the wonderful things my Grandma said, did and taught me throughout our time together. Her advice to me was always " Chin up and chest out" Gawd I used to cringe and roll my eyes at her only for us to both laugh. She assisted my fetish with Boy George - bought me the clothes only to tell me " You know someday you are going to act like him" --- Go Figure Gram! LOL When I told her I was into women, that I was gay and and not going to be the typical grand-daughter many would expect me to be.... She stood by me...hugged me and told me she loved me.... Then again as I look back she lit 2 cig's and was smoking them both she was so nervous. LOL I would go get my hair cut and she would call the hair lady and tell her " Dont let her cut her hair that short again, leave the curls" - I had to sit her down and calmly explain - Gram I am 30 - I want to cut my hair my way (which I did) but she still called....LOL I wish I could call her and say hello or what a wonderful women I think she truly is - Then again, I wish I could call her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day on Sunday - I cant obviously but I can and will remember our times. So Happy Mothers Day to anyone out there who is deserving of a title such as Mother. Remember anyone can have a child - but it takes a real lady in my opinion to be a Mother.

05-05-2010, 04:13 AM	#22
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	(((evolveme))) May you find peace.

05-05-2010, 07:23 PM	#25
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	I work in a daycare.. today .. lots of pregnant mommies. Difficult for me to see most days but around now, really really hard to deal with.

05-05-2010, 07:46 PM	#27
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	((((Lady Pamela))))

05-05-2010, 08:02 PM	#28
Oiler41 Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Happily Single! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nunya Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,574 Times in 790 Posts Rep Power: 18276166	I don't really get too down on Mother's day anymore, but I do get reflective. I lost mom in July of 2007 after a very short bout with cancer (7 weeks diagnosis to death). There are certainly things in my life that I wish she was here to share with me, and some that I'm glad she didn't live to see; For that first year, I felt a lot like an orphan having lost my dad in 1985 and really feeling like there was nowhere to call home. But these days, I hear a song, see a bird, hold something of hers in my hand, or see a gift she gave me over the years and my thoughts drift back to a different time when she was still here. She wasn't perfect, but then again, none of us are. When she was dying, we talked about how she raised us. She said "Well, they don't give you a book about how to raise kids when you have them; you just have to do the best you can with what you have". I told her then that she had done well in raising us. I do miss her still; some days more than others. She comes to visit fairly regularly,,those who know me know what I mean. My thoughts to all who struggle with the loss of their mother or the absence of her in your lives. Glynn

05-05-2010, 10:14 PM	#29
Unndunn Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: doesn't matter to me Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Connecticut Posts: 122 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 149 Thanked 167 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 676963	This will be the first Mother's Day without my mother and it's been bothering me quite a bit. My dad died in 2007 and then my mother died Aug. 11, 2009. The thing that bothers me the most is that ads for Mother's Day are everywhere. You can't escape them by reading the news, watching tv or even driving in your car. It has made me think a lot about how difficult it all must make it for young children who have lost their mothers. I'm an adult and I'm struggling. To be quite honest, I'll be happy when Mother's Day is over.

05-06-2010, 05:17 PM	#30
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	((((unndunn))))))

05-07-2010, 04:09 AM	#33
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	((((Cowboi))))) (((((Toxic)))))))

05-07-2010, 04:42 AM	#34
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,949 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	The other day I bought 2 Mother's Day cards. One for Shelia's mother and one for my stepmother. I cannot express how difficult it was to buy the one for my stepmother. I could not bring myself to get her anything mushy or cute but I wanted to acknowledge her somehow. It says "Wishing you a wonderful and happy Mother's Day." My Mom would have expected this from me out of respect to my stepmother but that did not make it any easier. Still I felt guilty, like I was betraying Mom or something. I'm not going to the cemetery this weekend. I will go next weekend. We always celebrated Mother's Day and Mom's birthday on the weekend between the two dates.

05-08-2010, 08:46 AM	#35
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	(((Miss Scarlett)))) Going out to try to take my mind off things. Keep myself busy. This will be a hard day... Mother's day is everywhere... and I always seem hyperaware of kids and moms and pregnant women in particular. They seem to come out of the woodwork. Will keep us all in my prayers for Strength and peace.

05-08-2010, 11:05 AM	#36
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Northwest Wind and Lake Michigan Preferred Pronoun?: Paesano Relationship Status: Solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore Posts: 1,546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,597 Thanked 3,732 Times in 1,096 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	[QUOTE=ruthie14;98451][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I have a very hard time with Mother's day. I was never able to have any children of my own and My stepchildren no longer talk to me , even though I raised them when NO one else wanted them. If it wasn't for my own mother I would just hybernate for the day. As it approaches, I get increasingly depressed and weepy. Dear Ruthie; I visited my mother nearly everyday in her old age and helped take care of her in her last days, often doing what the nurses would'nt. My ex-wife complained about it but all I said to her was "She is my mother, she brought me in the world and did her best with the little she had to take care of me, and now I'm going to help take care of her!" And that is what I did, and what we all should for good mothers/stepmothers if we could. Anything less is shameful and anyone who does otherwise I have no respect for.

05-08-2010, 02:13 PM	#37
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	Thanks for the support Popcorninthesofa ! As far as your ex not understanding about your desire to take care of your mother, I'm sure that is one of the reasons she is your ex. That would have made me crazy. My mother and I just bought a house together.. she makes me crazy.. but I wouldn't want her alone as she is getting older.

05-08-2010, 08:10 PM	#38
BornBronson Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently banned 7/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: Straight Butch Woman Relationship Status: Nice Tie Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In Love Posts: 177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24 Thanked 139 Times in 82 Posts Rep Power: 0	I really don't know if Mother's Day is a good day or a bad day for me,yet.It certainly is a strange day for me,I will give it that. My mother is dead,and when that date on the calendar rolls around I usually take a walk out to the family cemetery and stay there for an hour or so.Just remembering all the memories we shared together,the good and bad.I had her remains cremated and brought her ashes here to be laid next to her father and mother.When I dug a hole what now seems like three very long years ago I knew what I was burying was not my mother..but,well,ash.There are others I have 'laid to rest' in that cemetery,and when Mother's Day comes around for them,I will see flowers and stuffed animals left behind from their visiting family members.I gave those sort of things to my mother while she was living.

05-09-2010, 10:42 AM	#39
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5731586	How is everyone doing? I'm not doing too badly. A friend sent me a lovely thinking of you card. Mom is out getting a mani and pedi, so good for a little while. She loved the rosebush I got her for mother's day. On the flip side, Mom brought up memories of my sisters boy when he was a baby. That was hard to hear and keep smiling. I don't think she thinks before she speaks sometimes. Checked my email and nothing from the my stepkids. No texts, no card, no phone call. I just don't exist for them anymore. I feel very empty and sad. Forgotten. All the years of love, nuturing and sacrifice, and I am forgotten.

05-09-2010, 10:50 AM	#40
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,946 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	(((((HUGS))))) to all the people that don't have mom's to thank and love today!! But your mom is in your heart and soul, never forget that!!