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Old 07-29-2015, 04:53 PM   #21
DapperButch
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I agree with Shystonefem, I think it is a good idea to find out of someone you are getting involved with has a similar or opposite philosophy about money and spending habits. I've seen where money problems are high on the list of friction points for couples and can create a lot of problems.
Hell yeah, first date discussion (not really, but I probably do "poke around" during the first handle of dates to see how people relate to and think about their money).

I would never date someone who wasn't open to having a retirement plan in place. I don't want to work forever (to cover your lack of planning), sorry.
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Old 07-31-2015, 02:08 PM   #22
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This is one of the reasons I won't live with someone again. I've lived with three partners. One when I was bisexual and with my best friend and partner, a bloke. He was great to live with. We had our own bedrooms, we had our own bank accounts, paid our own bills, he did his share of the housework (urban living, no yard. I mean cleaning, laundry etc).
He never pushed me to do "women's jobs" because I would have thrown him off a bridge for it and he didn't want "a little woman to look after him." He wanted what we had. A partnership where things were done according to skill and desire. I was better at fixing the car than he was. He was good at playing guitar to me while I was in the tub.
My dad was the same. He was good at science and maths and baking. He also did the laundry, and split up the house chores on a rota between everyone that lived in the house.
The bills were all paid equally, into a kittie.

I never had the money issue, housework issue until I went dyketastic. Suddenly, a whole bunch of gender roles I never learned with money and housework were thrown at me.
And I have been told that "doing house work is upsetting to me because of the gender thing. I feel like I'm being feminized because my family..."
Wow. That sucks. I'm princess gender. I hear you. My gender requires I sit on the couch and eat cake while you vacume. I feel your pain."

Same thing goes for money. But I find its bent against me - since I'm the nurturer and carer, it's also up to me to pay the bills and do all the admin stuff.

So, I just make it really simple: im 46. We aren't raising kids together. Nor am I going to raise dogs with you. You can support yourself. I can support myself. It's going to stay that way. You be my fantastic, amazing best ever fabulous guest when you stay at mine, I'll be your fantastic, amazing, best ever, fabulous guest when I stay at yours.

That way the domestic responsibility is clear (your house, your responsibility; my little urban apartment, my responsibility) and I can avoid all the nonsense I've put up with with money etc.
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Old 07-31-2015, 04:13 PM   #23
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I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.
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Old 07-31-2015, 04:37 PM   #24
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Secure saver
Does having money in the bank give you peace of mind? Do you enjoy putting your money away even when there’s nothing in particular to save for?
It’s clearly very important to have savings to provide security for you and your loved ones, as you never know when you might need them.
But remember that being secure isn’t just about saving wisely – it means spending wisely as well. Make sure you’re not denying yourself too much in the present with unnecessarily tight budgeting for the future.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:24 PM   #25
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Have a fair bit of money...just don't talk about it.

Don't have any money...talk about it all you want.

Either way, someone will be offended.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:28 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Orema View Post
I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.
I got the same thing. Indulger, low risk. I just don't spend what I don't have.
Thanks!
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Old 01-21-2018, 02:44 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by DapperButch View Post
Hell yeah, first date discussion (not really, but I probably do "poke around" during the first handle of dates to see how people relate to and think about their money).

I would never date someone who wasn't open to having a retirement plan in place. I don't want to work forever (to cover your lack of planning), sorry.
I really agree with you. One of my mentors, when he was thinking of dating this woman asked her financial questions (to make sure they were on the same page financially speaking) and they were. He has around $80m now, and much of this is to his wife's working with him on finances.

I also came from a fortunate background, and would be most comfortable with someone from my own background.. more in common, more in synch, same financial beliefs, values, etc.

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Old 01-21-2018, 03:08 PM   #28
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Secure saver

To you money represents security. You like to save it for a rainy day.
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Old 01-21-2018, 03:31 PM   #29
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Secure saver

To you money represents security. You like to save it for a rainy day.
me 2 dee secure saver
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Old 07-09-2022, 09:19 AM   #30
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I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.
This time I scored Generous Indulger with Moderate Risk of Money Troubles. The differences are: my income is lower because I retired since I last took the test and I'm spending more money when I'm anxious or worried, but that's just a temporary thing.
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Old 07-09-2022, 02:22 PM   #31
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Generous indulger & Moderate risk of money troubles.
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Old 07-10-2022, 11:04 AM   #32
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Generous indulger & Moderate risk of money troubles.
Ditto. A little different than when I took it years ago.
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