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04-22-2010, 08:22 AM
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#1 |
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Member
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What do YOU need to feel loved?
I have been thinking about this for the last few days. Sometimes I think, we think we know - but do we really? Can we actually say or explain our needs to another person?
What makes YOU feel secure and loved? Is it a way that someone talks to you? That they pay attention to how you feel and are in tune with your emotions? Do they make you feel interesting and special? Is it being able to say nothing and just "be" with that person? Or is it in gestures? Flowers, breakfast in bed? Notes on the pillow? Is it routine? Coming home every Friday and knowing that Friday is always pizza night? Making the bed together every morning? Sunday is cleaning day? What do you need to feel loved the way that you need to be loved? |
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04-22-2010, 08:28 AM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
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Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status:
Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009
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For me show me. Actions speak louder than words although I wanna hear it too.. If your actions arent matching your words I wont "feel" anything.
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04-22-2010, 08:39 AM
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#3 |
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Member
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mouthy but adorable; kinky Gerbera Preferred Pronoun?:
hey, cutie (or dudette) Relationship Status:
xoxo 
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A very nifty thread—kudos, adorable! Articulating one’s needs is really important—how can someone know that you need something if you don’t tell them?
Just a few from me (because, yes, I do have a list): *laughter—lots of shared laughter *surprise texts, voice mails, etc. throughout the day *supportive of anything that makes me happy (like my career), even if it is dull to the other person—or translates to less “personal time” every-so-often *not grumbling when I disagree or taking automatic offense (how else can a mature conversation be had when someone fears that s/he is going to be automatically besieged?!) I'm a lucky grrl, daisy
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You can’t change that system by just getting your own rights, tinkering with the engine and leaving. You have to take on the whole machine.
--Riki Anne Wilchins Hold on to the lessons, let go of the pain. --Leslie Feinberg |
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04-22-2010, 08:45 AM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
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Ok I will write in detail
Romance Lots and lots of affection Sweet emails, texts Laughter Being supportive Being loyal Being patient with me Being understanding Be sensitive to my needs and others needs |
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04-22-2010, 09:16 AM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
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femme Relationship Status:
Married 
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For me to FEEL loved and secure...
Show me you love me by being mindful of me... By listening when I say something is important to me... by being consistancy in your actions... For me to FEEL loved.. I need to trust that I can count on you... If I don't then I start building walls, taking back my trust, my belief in you... I won't rely on you, won't expect anything... and for me.. that's the beginning of the end... For me... Romance is wonderful, but it's not what makes me KNOW that I am loved...
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~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood" |
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04-22-2010, 07:19 PM
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#6 | |
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Senior Member
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Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status:
Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009
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Quote:
except I enjoy Romance
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05-22-2011, 09:44 PM
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#7 | |
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Member
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butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?:
Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status:
Back to Bachelorhood 
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Quote:
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06-27-2011, 06:14 PM
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#8 | |
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Senior Member
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Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status:
Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009
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Quote:
Also someone who values relationships as I do. Someone who doesn't move from relationship to relationship.
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04-22-2010, 09:16 AM
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#9 |
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Member
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Partnered 
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Trust is the biggest thing I need. I don't need lots of reassurance or much affection or any romance. If we trust each other then I know she loves me. I need someone I can trust and someone who is emotionally independent and her own woman. That makes me feel loved. Rufus.
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04-22-2010, 09:40 AM
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#10 |
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Pink Confection
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Dating Myself 
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Trust and respect.
I am not very romantic.
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04-22-2010, 10:29 AM
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#11 |
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Member
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Lucky, very lucky
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Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.
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04-22-2010, 10:47 AM
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#12 | |
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Senior Member
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femme Relationship Status:
Married
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Quote:
I hadn't thought of people as plants... but we are like them arn't we? You just have to have the right gardener...
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~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood" |
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04-22-2010, 10:47 AM
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#13 |
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Infamous Member
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She Join Date: Nov 2009
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Respect and a true commitment to work through the tough as well as easy times.
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Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke |
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04-22-2010, 11:30 AM
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#14 |
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Timed Out
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Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.
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04-22-2010, 03:39 PM
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#15 |
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Infamous Member
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Hey boy!!! Relationship Status:
counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009
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love this thread!!
Strong trust bond...
I would rather someone talk to me about a fear or insecurity before making up stuff in their head about it. I know I am gonna try like hell to do the same. Checking in with each other regularly... I am gonna approach the person I am with and ask if everything is ok with the relationship. I am gonna ask if there is something I can do to make things easier/smoother. I am gonna ask if I am igniting the fire on the regular or if I need to step it up. My expectation is my partner do the same. I have had some great all night long conversations from this approach. Support the girl and the growth... I am a proud sponsor of the "you go on and grow girl" club . No membership fee required to join. Life is short and we all gotta get our piece of the pie in every compartment of our lives. I need this to be reciprocated. Common interests and support of things that are not so commonly interesting to one party or the other. Enthusiasm Passion and input please and I am not talking about sex. I am referring to opinions about the life we are living and having them. Sex is important to me in a relationship in order to feel loved. I am a lover of fucking and having painful raw dirty random renedevouz's so I am gonna be cruising my mate constantly inside the home and outside the home. I like to feel this reciprocated.  this makes me feel loved and secure this also makes me feel loved and securewillingness to negotiate is a good quality i may or may not be back to post more... |
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04-22-2010, 03:53 PM
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#16 |
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Timed Out
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just her
Apparently, all I ever needed was a sweet, brilliant, pixie Cubana with an amazing mind, incredible passion, raucous humor, and divine soul.
Life with my Queen makes me feel intensely loved. 
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04-22-2010, 04:23 PM
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#17 | |
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Senior Member
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The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) 
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Ditto, 'cept mine is Polish and comes complete with torture equipment. *sigh* Life is GRAND!
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04-22-2010, 11:54 AM
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#18 | |
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Magically Delicious
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Gentle Butch Relationship Status:
Single and content 
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Quote:
This is exactly what I need and how I feel. Trust has to come before anything else because where there is no trust there cannot be any love.
__________________
 Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo
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04-22-2010, 11:32 AM
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#19 | |
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Practically Lives Here
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Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
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For those that have partnered with me....the bad, the good, the indifferent...I do have to give them props because life with me is not easy. The things that I require to feel secure change as the tides of change come and go. Most of the time, I can articulate what I need, but there have been times where I was at a loss as to what I needed and that, of course, left them floundering too. Most of the time, I need affection and attention but not so much that I feel stifled and/or smothered. I need an open ear and a spare shoulder for when I have a bad day or situation in my life. I need you to 'fix' my problems only when/if I ask you to. I have my romantic days but I'm not a big flower-receiver. I prefer them living and in the ground. It has always seemed a bit off to me to give someone a gift that is dying a little bit every time you touch it. I do like dinners out and seeing shows but I think those things are more maintenance than what makes me feel special and loved and secure. It's the behind the scenes action that accomplishes that. Someone mentioned gardens and plants. Every plant requires a different amount of light (attention), a different kind of food (nurturing), a different kind of soil and a different area to plant in. I don't do well in frigid and dreary weather. Over time, I shrivel up and inward and I don't let people in. That can make a relationship very difficult. So, for me, this is a very relevant analogy. |
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04-22-2010, 03:20 PM
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#20 |
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Member
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kind gestures..kisses..emotional intimacy
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I'm misunderestimated. 
Hybrid Mode
