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10-23-2020, 01:56 AM
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#941 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889   |
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation with a goat? Because they are always butting in.
What do you call a baby goat who is sleeping? A kid-napper. What do you call a baby goat who is good at martial arts? The Karate Kid. Patient: Doctor, doctor - I keep thinking that I'm a goat. Doctor: How long have you felt like this? Patient: Ever since I was a kid. |
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10-24-2020, 10:03 AM
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#942 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~
Q. What do you get when you throw ungrateful kids in to a meat grinder? A. Bratwurst |
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10-24-2020, 10:13 AM
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#943 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either".... 
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10-24-2020, 10:16 AM
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#944 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~
My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly. |
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10-24-2020, 10:21 AM
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#945 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~
Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed? Everyone else is forbiden... |
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10-31-2020, 10:00 AM
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#946 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~
The two bears had to break up... they were polar opposites! How do you know when a bear is moving house? They put up a 'fur sale' sign up. What do bears pack in their suitcases? Only the bear necessities. |
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10-31-2020, 10:07 AM
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#947 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
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10-31-2020, 10:40 AM
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#948 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,195
Thanks: 12,160
Thanked 8,455 Times in 2,629 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Corny Jokes
Sue: I thought you were on a diet?
Mary: I am, I am just eating this fudge to test myself and so far I have failed. John, why did you run out of the operating room ? Well Harry the nurse said "be brave" So Why would that frighten you, thats nice. No its not, she was speaking to the Dr. |
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10-31-2020, 10:47 AM
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#949 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,195
Thanks: 12,160
Thanked 8,455 Times in 2,629 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Corny Jokes
Waiter "why don't you try some of our delicious smothered chicken sir"
Patron "Don't bother telling me how you killed it, just bring it". A simple guy walks into an office and asks for a job. The manager says "in order to get this job, finish this sentence. Old McDonald had a ----> Oh says the guy "thats easy, Old McDonald had a farm". Manager says "ok now spell farm". Easy says the simple guy "EIEIO |
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12-21-2020, 10:47 AM
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#950 |
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Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her, shawty Relationship Status:
Single 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,018
Thanks: 41,066
Thanked 34,075 Times in 8,585 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? A: Because the present's beneath them.
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12-24-2020, 02:09 PM
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#951 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
☀️☀️☀️ 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 14,766
Thanks: 28,400
Thanked 39,511 Times in 10,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby.
They were bragging about how good they are. It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
__________________
 kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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12-24-2020, 02:34 PM
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#952 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?:
Ma'am Relationship Status:
widowed - involved, poly  Join Date: May 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 5,654
Thanks: 37,045
Thanked 27,103 Times in 5,113 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
True story:
My sister texted and asked, "What beverages do you want me to bring you from the liquor store?" I said, "Uhm . . . I don't need any "beverages". Why? She said, "I thought you said you needed some Christmas spirit!" LOL
__________________
-GeorgiaMa'am  It's been so lonely without you here Like a bird without a song Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling . . . 'Cause nothing compares, nothing compares 2 U - Prince |
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12-25-2020, 10:25 AM
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#953 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~
Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa? He was Claus-trophobic. |
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12-25-2020, 10:26 AM
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#954 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~
What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar? Your days are numbered! |
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01-03-2021, 08:47 PM
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#955 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,082
Thanks: 36,019
Thanked 31,985 Times in 9,937 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
Q: Where do you learn to make Banana Splits?
A: At Sundae School.
__________________
Kätzchen _____  ______
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03-17-2021, 02:44 AM
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#956 |
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Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her, shawty Relationship Status:
Single
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,018
Thanks: 41,066
Thanked 34,075 Times in 8,585 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
What do you call an Irish spider?
Answer: Paddy long legs! ————————— Knock, knock! Who’s there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! 
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03-17-2021, 03:01 AM
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#957 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
 Knock, knock! Who's there? Pat. Pat who? Pat on your shoes and let's get to the St. Patrick's Day party...
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03-17-2021, 05:31 PM
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#958 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~
How can you tell if a leprechaun likes your joke? He’s Dublin over with laughter!  What’s Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O’Furniture. |
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03-18-2021, 09:29 AM
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#959 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
 .....What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. |
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10-07-2021, 07:12 AM
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#960 |
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Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her, shawty Relationship Status:
Single
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,018
Thanks: 41,066
Thanked 34,075 Times in 8,585 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck. |
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