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Old 11-02-2012, 07:48 PM   #241
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Originally Posted by Martina View Post
Rita Mae Brown??

Fannie Flagg??

Inquiring minds . . . .
Omg yes please spill who it is you know! We won't harass you for introductions, promise! (my fingers just might be oh so slightly crossed behind my back)
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Old 11-03-2012, 10:36 PM   #242
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Originally Posted by easygoingfemme View Post
Omg yes please spill who it is you know! We won't harass you for introductions, promise! (my fingers just might be oh so slightly crossed behind my back)
What I neglected to articulate in my post (hence mentioning that I was criticizing an author hy has a friendship with) was that it took hym basically saying "Hey wait, slow your roll....<insert personal stories here>" when I said I wished the author was more overtly queer in her writing.

I learn and have my most profound "aha" moments through personal stories and interaction. Those interactions can happen online, over the phone or in person.

Thanks for the awesome dialogue everyone and Snow for starting it all off..
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Old 11-07-2012, 09:31 AM   #243
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I'm jumping into this thread way way late, but I want to chime in on the original June Cleaver question.

I don't feel any sort of femme connection with Junie at all. She was unendingly dull because the only role she had was to facilitate the happenings in other people's lives. My memory may be blurry, but I don't recollect June ever doing anything interesting EVER. I mean, really, even Barbie went to the moon and became a veterinarian.

Plus June dressed EXACTLY like every single other girl on the block, and my flavor of femminess expresses itself through the way I doll up. I'm a girlygirl, but I certainly don't want to dress in standard girlygirl uniform.

I respect the value of taking care of others that June embodied, but we can certainly take good care of our loved ones while being vibrant femmes in our own right.
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Old 11-30-2012, 12:36 PM   #244
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Originally Posted by princesskathie View Post
I'm jumping into this thread way way late, but I want to chime in on the original June Cleaver question.

I don't feel any sort of femme connection with Junie at all. She was unendingly dull because the only role she had was to facilitate the happenings in other people's lives. My memory may be blurry, but I don't recollect June ever doing anything interesting EVER. I mean, really, even Barbie went to the moon and became a veterinarian.

Plus June dressed EXACTLY like every single other girl on the block, and my flavor of femminess expresses itself through the way I doll up. I'm a girlygirl, but I certainly don't want to dress in standard girlygirl uniform.

I respect the value of taking care of others that June embodied, but we can certainly take good care of our loved ones while being vibrant femmes in our own right.
I completely agree with PrincessKathie re: June Cleaver. I was born in the mid-70s so I don't remember seeing the show until I was an adult (and then in re-runs, obviously). I can see an attraction to the idea of 'playing' a 1950s-housewife role for kink reasons (but I'd certainly embody something more exciting than June Cleaver). I tend to like those greeting cards you see with the vintage housewife pictures on them and some subversive thought in a bubble above them (the whole notion of 'What were they /really/ thinking?) LOL.
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:14 AM   #245
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This was one of the best threads on the site. i’ve enjoyed re-reading it.
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:38 AM   #246
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Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
Know what pisses me off even more.

When I log in here and I see the Femme, Butch, Trans, Zie's, post a picture of a feminine woman and refer to her as Femme or when describing a straight (hetero) woman they see on the street and have a boner for as Femme.

It's a mixture of anger, hurst, angst, and seperation. It's nothing to do with insecurity, jealousy it's all to do with stop giving other's what is MINE and I've worked hard for!

i totally resonate with this post. i don’t think that butches realize, that even when they do this in the spirit of a harmless fantasy, that it causes some of us femmes to feel separated and angry as we have fought to shine in our femme uniqueness.We fight to be seen as FEMME, not a hetero feminine woman. It isn’t about jealousy, it’s about feeling that we belong in this community.

One thing that we have is that butches are attracted to us. If they desire straight (heater) women, we wonder where we really fit in.

If i were to come up with a list of people i am sexually attracted to, not one straight man or woman would come to mind.


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Old 01-17-2018, 06:39 AM   #247
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I've been referred to by STRAIGHT woman as June Clever ~ maybe to them I seemed that way ~ wasn't about the way I dressed cause I dressed very different ~ it was because I tended to my family and they along w/ my wife came first in my life and priority ~ The woman that did the June Clever reference were also drinking drug abusing mothers who had a lot to be ashamed of. I always took it where it came from. Aside from the 50's garb June wore the fact she cared for her family & children was always respectful way of looking at a parent.
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:48 AM   #248
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I've been referred to by STRAIGHT woman as June Clever ~ maybe to them I seemed that way ~ wasn't about the way I dressed cause I dressed very different ~ it was because I tended to my family and they along w/ my wife came first in my life and priority ~ The woman that did the June Clever reference were also drinking drug abusing mothers who had a lot to be ashamed of. I always took it where it came from. Aside from the 50's garb June wore the fact she cared for her family & children was always respectful way of looking at a parent.

did it piss you the hell OFF being referred to as a straight woman?

Why can’t femme be a gender in the real world! ?
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Old 01-17-2018, 09:56 AM   #249
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Originally Posted by girl_dee View Post

did it piss you the hell OFF being referred to as a straight woman?

Why can’t femme be a gender in the real world! ?
Dee you know if you don't look butch your always perceived as a straight woman lol ~ BUT I had a rainbow bumper sticker, a gay woman's decal on my car window , my key chain had a rainbow flag that was very obvious. , I wore a pink garnet triangle pinky ring, a Proviencetown bumper sticker on the back window, I seriously think people r blinded by a woman's looks.
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:18 AM   #250
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This whole Queen Latifah bend in the conversation is interesting to me. First, because I absolutely love her and, second, because although she resonates powerful, confident, badass woman to me....she has never read "butch"....with the exception of the character she played in Set It Off.

I wonder why we want to immediately assign "butch" to women with energy and strength that is traditionally deemed masculine.

I wouldn't say that I have any masculine energy....like zero. I'm not girly-girly, but I've even been surprised when I see myself on video that my gestures and body language are far more traditionally "feminine" than I would have thought.

However, in my work life, I'm in charge of project teams...and frequently what we call "tiger teams" - specialists who are charged with relentlessly hunting down and killing flaws in the design or function of the project. They aren't easy people to coordinate at times....and I am in charge of keeping them all on track, on time, on budget and working together. In my meetings, and in my projects, there is no doubt who is in charge. I speak softly, I am polite....and I am in fucking charge. Overstep my bounds and you (general you) will learn that quickly as you pull back a bloody stump....regardless of the title you wear in the company.

I think it's a fallacy that women have to have any masculine energy at all to be powerful. I also think it's a fallacy that they have to be "bitchy" to be in charge.

I can be soft, feminine, even quiet....and absolutely in charge.
My favorite post was Jo's.....

Particularly the ideas I highlighted with bold font in Jo's post.

<<<<<~~ Quiet, reserved, soft, polite, yet absolutely in charge of my own life.
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:45 AM   #251
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My favorite post was Jo's.....

Particularly the ideas I highlighted with bold font in Jo's post.

<<<<<~~ Quiet, reserved, soft, polite, yet absolutely in charge of my own life.
OHHH i do like that!
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Old 01-17-2018, 10:48 AM   #252
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Dee you know if you don't look butch your always perceived as a straight woman lol ~ BUT I had a rainbow bumper sticker, a gay woman's decal on my car window , my key chain had a rainbow flag that was very obvious. , I wore a pink garnet triangle pinky ring, a Proviencetown bumper sticker on the back window, I seriously think people r blinded by a woman's looks.
they are blinded.

i still wear my P-Town rainbow fleece! i don’t want to go through life as an invisible femme or being compared to straight women!
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