Getting Sucked off

[Parker]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

And maybe it's because I'm so into someone else's pleasure that I follow a general rule... I usually try something 2-3 times with someone before I tell them "actually darlin, I'm not particularly fond of ___" before saying it. cause its a huge turn off to be told something someone likes does nothing for them.

**snip**

But I trust that people have good boundaries and will say stop if they aren't into something. Of course I wont do this with things I know would be off limit or upsetting (eg, penetrate someone who is stone, face slap someone who hates suprises etc, etc).

**snip**

I know this wasnt addressed specifically to me, but since I said I dont care for them, I wanted to respond with my thoughts....

I might be "meh" about it, but it isnt even close to what I would call a hard limit for me, so if I was with someone who liked giving strap-on cock BJs, I wouldnt say no or stop her - just as I didnt stop the woman who performed them on me back in the day.

Maybe I should say I could take or leave it; while it might not be something I would expect or ask for, if I was with someone who enjoyed that aspect of sex, I wouldnt say no either. Like honeybarbara, I am really into pleasing my partner, so unless it's a limit I just cannot cross, I wouldnt say no or stop her from doing it - just wouldnt be something I would enjoy as much as other butches (and femmes and transmen) might.

Damn - it's just so hard to explain! OK - because my cock isnt an extension of my clit, receiving a BJ would be enjoyable only in that the femme performing it would be enjoying herself - but I would not enjoy it in the same way a bio-man would or in the same way a butch/femme/transman would who are connected to their cocks as extensions of themselves. Did that make sense?

See how different it can be for everyone and how confusing it can be to explain to strangers, Femminator? lol I think the best you can do is communicate - either before with clothes on or during with clothes off and you are .. um, demonstrating what it is you mean to do.

[fatallyblonde]

totally agree Parker... there is no such thing as one true way for femmes and butches to enjoy sex together... and I think it is really damaging all these false ideals have been erected that we feel pressure to adhere to or else we're not "real". most important thing between partner is honest communication. I certainly don't think my butch should have to enjoy being sucked off... or just put up with it for my sake... and I would never judge her if she didn't want it... in the younger years of the butch-femme community where I live there were a few people who really tried to dictate what was 'real' butch or femme to the rest of us and it was so toxic and vile and had horrible impacts on many people's self-esteem and feeling of belonging... that shit can go to hell!

[Dude]

Then , there are butches Like me , who have been shoving stuff down their pants since they were 12. :] Because of That, I have a few times identified as a cock identified butch which leads people to assume all types of things. Does the fact that I have packed since I was 18 mean it is all sexual for me? Nope. Some of it , is a gender comfort (and I do I D as a woman) Do I pack all the time? Nope.Do I need to use it? No. I also don't consider blowjobs kinky (at all) but different strokes for different folks. Let's not shame people for doing what feels completely natural (for them.)

Don't people just go for >it <any more ? Sigh ;]






My advise: ( no talking ) just do it . She can tell you no or stop if she's not into it.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Daktari that actually that brings up a really good point. some cocks are easier to throat than others.

if you wanna just suck one, any is fine, the realistic soft skin ones are a bit nicer on the mouth, imo but the taste isn't always the greatest. well. neither is pvc but i don't really care.

but if you want to try and throat it as you get a bit more into it, after some practice, heres some suggestions: pick a narrower cock with a smaller head so you can actually push it past the first ring in your throat. Like and inch to an inch and half at most. trust me, even as a sword swallower, large head dildos do nothing but make you bruised and vomit, unless you are into that kind of thing, so are best left for mouth only.

the dlido should be a little bendy, it cant be one of those rock hard ones. and personally one thats too soft will make me gag more but that could just be me.

if you are having trouble but still really wanna manage don't do it from lower down or under. If they are laying down, change your angle to coming at it from above, like 69 but from the side - physically much easier and make sure to not to block the view.

if you still cant here's a trick. eat ice cream. but hold the ice cream in the back of your mouth. see if you can even put a daub on the end of a cock (handy over biocock) - the coldness numbs the gag response.

I would suggest looking at some porn to get ideas for visuals because porn is all about the visual. but for gods sake look at british bj porn, not american. for some reason in the last few years american porn actresses have taken to making this god awful "gauh, guah, guah" loud noise while deep throating with is actually completely unnessesary. *I've NEVER* made that god awful hilarous racket that sounds like a turkey and I've done a lot of it and even did seminars on it. Its a fabricated sound that is baffling to me and frankly, fucking awful. judgy me in my preference.

but if you like it, gobble gobble your socks off, of course!



eta: Parker... I did think you might think I was refering to your thoughts about thinking about BJs

no. I was blathering because I just was thinking about shit and flapping my fingers. as I am rambling about types of cock.

and taking something or leaving something is a lot different, to me, than "meh" when it becames all about me and she could read a newspaper while it's going on. Instead of getting excited with me. And what the measure of just how much excitement is considered enough? and some xymales hate blowjobs and some aren't all that moved by them. I know quite a few guys who have never cum that way cause it just doesn't drive it home for them. It's nice, they enjoy it but its not a giant cake of sex.

we all like things to different degrees. as long as slome thought, that's hot to watch... even it they aren't going into la la land and having 15 orgasms from it, that's good enough for me. Plus the vibrator trick while slipping a couple fingers up and sucking on the cock I find makes them reach other bonna even if it's just fun rather than "WOW I FUCKING LOVE BLOW JOBS, ME"

lol right?

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Dude

Let's not shame people for doing what feels completely natural (for them.)

I totally agree with this. That is why I spoke up in the first place - bc I have been shamed in the past for not packing, for not caring about strap-on cock BJs. People make a lot of generalizations about what butches should and shouldnt do and that is when I speak up - to show people that not all butches are the same, we are all different. I always say: there are as many ways to be butch as there are butches.

And when I do speak up, I use *I* statements to make it clear that I am speaking for and about me and me only so I dont shame others or make them feel judged.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

eta: Parker... I did think you might think I was refering to your thoughts about thinking about BJs

no. I was blathering because I just was thinking about shit and flapping my fingers. as I am rambling about types of cock.

and taking something or leaving something is a lot different, to me, than "meh" when it becames all about me and she could read a newspaper while it's going on. Instead of getting excited with me. And what the measure of just how much excitement is considered enough? and some xymales hate blowjobs and some aren't all that moved by them. I know quite a few guys who have never cum that way cause it just doesn't drive it home for them. It's nice, they enjoy it but its not a giant cake of sex.

we all like things to different degrees. as long as slome thought, that's hot to watch... even it they aren't going into la la land and having 15 orgasms from it, that's good enough for me. Plus the vibrator trick while slipping a couple fingers up and sucking on the cock I find makes them reach other bonna even if it's just fun rather than "WOW I FUCKING LOVE BLOW JOBS, ME"

lol right?

lol, right. (<-- not sarcasm)

And I wasnt sure if you were referring to me or not, but your post got me to thinking so I re-read my original post and wanted to at least try to clarify my feelings around it. Not sure if I made it more clear or muddier, but like I said, you got me thinking and I wanted to make the effort.

[imperfect_cupcake]

heh. don't worry, if I'm reffering to you, oh, you'll know...

you have issues with butch stereotypes... I have trouble with femme ones lol I'm not a lady. You'll know.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

heh. don't worry, if I'm reffering to you, oh, you'll know...

you have issues with butch stereotypes... I have trouble with femme ones lol I'm not a lady. You'll know.

lol, cool - I can live with that.

And my bff is a femme who is constantly told she is not femme or "femme enough," so I feel you on this.

[NitroChrys_Butch]

What works for some would never work for another. Communicate either with words or actions. It is difficult for some to put their desires into words. Opening up and saying what one wants can be a very frightening thing for some. To lay out their wishes on the table (so to speak) and express outloud what they want is difficult.

For Me. I. Love. It. All. of. It. It messes with her mind and Mine. It makes Me weak in the knees to look at her kneel before My knees and watch that sly little smile cross her lips before she unzips Me. She does this "thing" which I won't go into details that makes Me nuts. Fully clothed. Nuts. It blows My mind. Sometimes she is shy and I do not watch her. I don't make eye contact. Sometimes, she is in a different frame of mind and she is all about having Me watch every glorious second and what she does to Me.

Enjoy. Discover what is right for you. And My best piece of advice? Don't try to make this moment between you fit into someone else's framework.

I would never insist she do this if it didn't do something for her. While giving pleasure to someone while it does nothing for the other person sometimes "works" .. most of the time, it doesn't. I have done things that really don't affect Me greatly other than to know that I am driving her out of her mind, slowly and deliciously.

[RockOn]

growling ... Y-E-S

and spend some time ...

must add - only if she enjoys doing it


Thanks for the topic, hb!


*looking down at 501s*
yep, added task before I fall asleep

[Femminator]

Originally Posted by always2late

I know you were addressing the question to butches, but if I may add my two cents...I find that giving head to my partners that have strapped to be a huge turn on for me. And, for my partners, it has been an erotic and fulfilling experience for them. But I can only base my opinion on my own experiences. You said you partner is sexually shy, so perhaps this is something she would enjoy or that she wants to try, but has difficulty expressing it or asking for it. I think your best course would be to discuss it with her and, if she is willing, to give it a go!

I appreciate anyones input. I wasn't sure where to post it so I started here. LOL Anyone who has experienced it, please DO tell!

[Femminator]

Originally Posted by Bad_boi

Well it could go in any category really. All genders can strap up. I wouldn't really worry to much. There will always be a slight overlap with a lot of subjects.

I like getting sucked off its one of my favorite things to get me going. I would highly recommend giving it a try if all parties are willing.

I think that if your partner is shy about it then perhaps figure out why she is shy. If she likes it but is embarrassed its kinda one of those things that you can work though. Sometimes eye contact while getting a bj is awkward so that is a common factor for being embarrassed since a lot of it for the receiver is visual stimulation where they would like to watch. A quick glance up at your partner to see if they like it is just fine but more than that can make things a bit odd.

She really had a hard time coming out, and never used any toys with any other partners, so this is all new to her. Unfortunatly, she dated women who encouraged her to stay closeted and, I feel, encouraged her to be ashamed of her sexuality also. So, I really appreciate knowing not to watch while I do it, because it would probably not dawned on me.

[~ocean]

I think its very sexy watching ur butch watch what I am doing and when they watch during penetration ~

[Femminator]

Originally Posted by AnnRkey

I enjoy it very much. Again, I believe that one should be all and everything sexually to your partner. I've never believed in limiting myself sexually (well I've never been with males so I guess to an extent I limit males but that's different I've always been attracted to females) with any of my partners. Luckily I've only had a few partners that had some "donts" during sex. Which I understand, all our sexual experiences are different. But it's great when you can find someone on the same page as yourself.

I have been with males before, and they really like to push you into giving them head. I tried to give my date head once, and I got physically ill, ran out of the bedroom, and threw up in the bathroom. Last time I ever tried that......I feel absolutely no such feeling at the thought of doing that to my wife, I really, really, am excited to try it with her. So, that is good. I think that is why I was suprised that I was even wanting to try it.

I guess that should have been my first clue I was a Lesbian...... LOL

[Femminator]

Originally Posted by Parker

I know this wasnt addressed specifically to me, but since I said I dont care for them, I wanted to respond with my thoughts....

I might be "meh" about it, but it isnt even close to what I would call a hard limit for me, so if I was with someone who liked giving strap-on cock BJs, I wouldnt say no or stop her - just as I didnt stop the woman who performed them on me back in the day.

Maybe I should say I could take or leave it; while it might not be something I would expect or ask for, if I was with someone who enjoyed that aspect of sex, I wouldnt say no either. Like honeybarbara, I am really into pleasing my partner, so unless it's a limit I just cannot cross, I wouldnt say no or stop her from doing it - just wouldnt be something I would enjoy as much as other butches (and femmes and transmen) might.

Damn - it's just so hard to explain! OK - because my cock isnt an extension of my clit, receiving a BJ would be enjoyable only in that the femme performing it would be enjoying herself - but I would not enjoy it in the same way a bio-man would or in the same way a butch/femme/transman would who are connected to their cocks as extensions of themselves. Did that make sense?

See how different it can be for everyone and how confusing it can be to explain to strangers, Femminator? lol I think the best you can do is communicate - either before with clothes on or during with clothes off and you are .. um, demonstrating what it is you mean to do.

What you are saying makes perfect sense, not everyone likes everything sexually. I don't want her to feel she has to 'put up with it' because I would enjoy it. It would ultimately ruin my pleasure in the end if she did that. Sexuality and presentation of such is intensely personal.

She has only recently told me that she does happen to feel that it is an extension of herself when she straps, and she thought I would think her a freak for saying that. She said she kinda mentally gets off on it, so that is also why I think she would enjoy it. She is actually the first Butch to tell me this, the others I have dated have never really been interested in strapping, packing, or felt that it was anything other than something for me to enjoy. That they would not get any actual pleasure other than getting me to cum.

So, it's new to me also, these feelings, and I am so glad that everyone can tell of their experiences and that they are willing to discuss it.

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Parker

I might be "meh" about it, but it isnt even close to what I would call a hard limit for me, so if I was with someone who liked giving strap-on cock BJs, I wouldnt say no or stop her - just as I didnt stop the woman who performed them on me back in the day.

Maybe I should say I could take or leave it; while it might not be something I would expect or ask for, if I was with someone who enjoyed that aspect of sex, I wouldnt say no either. Like honeybarbara, I am really into pleasing my partner, so unless it's a limit I just cannot cross, I wouldnt say no or stop her from doing it - just wouldnt be something I would enjoy as much as other butches (and femmes and transmen) might.

Damn - it's just so hard to explain! OK - because my cock isnt an extension of my clit, receiving a BJ would be enjoyable only in that the femme performing it would be enjoying herself - but I would not enjoy it in the same way a bio-man would or in the same way a butch/femme/transman would who are connected to their cocks as extensions of themselves. Did that make sense?

See how different it can be for everyone and how confusing it can be to explain to strangers, Femminator? lol

You lost me with this. I'm trying to figure out how this would even happen if you told the person you don't care for it. Take it or leave it / meh? I've tried it , it does nothing for me but knock yourself out anyway? We aren't really talking about going to the beach when she'd prefer the mountains ,here. Maybe it's me but I would be pissed if someone wasted my time or energy by going through the motions just because I liked something they did not. Half hour later (meh) is not the kind of sex I want to be having. Instead of trying to make something mesh that does not wouldn't it be more compassionate to say this is just not a good fit?

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by Daktari

Well, yassee, you know how those fabulous experimental sessions go when there's much action, communication and laughter.

Well obviously said chatty femme wasn't talking with her mouth full but kept coming up for air; her hands wouldn't leave my then twitching cock and she would talk through her wide experience of giving bio boy blow-jobs. It was one of the most intense, hot sexual encounters I've had. I had just discovered packing at the time and was packing a wonderful cock that was soft enough for comfortable packing and hard enough to fuck with too. It was that femme who had given me the cock. The old chap got so well used I had to retire him

Ah, I get it now, thanks for that Mr D.

Rxx

[Words]

Not my/Hys thing. But...

It's amazing what some quality time with a finger or toe can achieve.

For real.

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

Oh, one of my favorite things to do!!

OK, now that I have that out of the way, I can REALLY share about this topic!

I came out late in life, so had LOTS of experience with bj's on bio men. Never really did a lot for ME, other than strangely gave me a sense of power, knowing just how crazed I could get them by things I could do with my lips, tongue and mouth. Never liked the end RESULT of that act, but hey.

So fast forward to my coming out at the age of 49. Had a cute little boi that used to pack only for play. Part of our play sometimes was the head trip of me going down on hym. Head trip for BOTH of us, I should add. Hy was not, when I got with hym, cock-centric. Hy was absolutely a butch, but was a female ID butch. See, I love the butch-ness of my butch, the male energy, but I am a lesbian and for ME, I also want to KNOW that I am with a woman.

So when I met Wolfz, I could feel the butch energy roaring back at my Femme energy. This is from a woman that is definately a female-ID'ing butch.

At that time, she did not pack, but she later admitted that she had always WANTED to, but had not been with a woman who would accept that part of her. She does not want to be a man, in any way shape or form. I don't want to be WITH a bio-man again, in any way shape or form. And since we are both exceedingly greedy at heart, we both get what we want!

Sooooo, for example, the idea of rolling over in bed, diving under the covers, pulling down her boxers and grabbing that wonderful soft pack and giving it a little squeeze, looking up at her from under the covers with a devilish grin on my face, oh yeah! To me, seeing her face, her eyes, riveted on me and waiting for what is next is priceless! Slowly sticking just the tip of my tongue out, to flick a bit at the underside of the head, oh yeah. Slowly, seductively, licking my lips, before lowering down, engulfing her cock in my mouth, feeling her sigh and hearing her moan, so so very sexy! Sometimes I love it when she grabs ahold of the hair on my head, directing the pace. (so much so that sometimes, if I REALLY want her to do that, I will grab her hand and squeeze her fingers into my hair to give her the nudge to do that! )

Alright, now, just a quick step back.... do we BOTH know and realize that no, she cannot REALLY feel the sensation of my tongue on the underside of the head of her cock? Of course. And that cock is not, I don't THINK to her, an extension of her clit. But what do they say, 90% of the sexual pleasure one gets is found between one's ears? It is all about the mind fuck. To ME, anyway, I love the fact that I am doing this sexy assed stuff to my woman. And it is turning her on tremendously. Which turns me on. Duh.

Like I said before, I am very greedy girl. I want to be able to fuck and suck a woman who is butch. I love the mind fuck that goes with me sucking on her cock. (Hey, I love the fact that the only excess liquid in my mouth is my own saliva!! I mean, eeeuuuuwww!) But I tell ya, after sucking her to her orgasm, I have a lot of saliva in my mouth. I come up from her cock, grab her hand and hold it up against the front of my throat, and let her FEEEEEEL me swallow! Hell yes, to us, I am swallowing her cum!

OK, now back to the fact that we are both greedy... oftentimes (but not all the time, it depends on where her mind is) I will be going down on her, and grasping the base of her cock in one hand, and my other hand will find it's way underneath the base to her pussy, and her clit. See, to me, that is pure mind play for me... I have a cock in my mouth, my wife's cock. And I have my fingers going in her, or flicking her clit. I have the male energy AND the female energy to play with. Heaven! And for her, she gets to be greedy too, allowing me to help her acknowledge her butch side with her cock, and feeling the wonders of woman-on-woman sex!

Don't know if any of this would be for anyone else, but like others here have said, this is what works for US. I have all kinds of ideas on the "hows" to do things, but sometimes I need to think through the "whys". But then again, the whys don't really matter anymore. We just both know we love it!

APG

[ProfPacker]

wow, you wrote my fantasy but I am femme and like to pack, I know I am very much a woman and like to be with femmes as well as butches. I love my femme cock being given a blow job and doing other wonderful things bringing mutual joy.