Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > LOVE > Romance

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-23-2011, 10:36 AM   #1
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Unhappy Long Distance - How do you cope?

I've never done anything long distance until now and I'm finding it VERY hard. The chemistry and connection is insanely high and I want to make it work but struggle with not having frequent physical contact (we are both very physical people).

So far we have chatted a million hours over messenger and on phone, and today I downloaded Skype which I also hope will help. Are there any ways in particular that you find to keep feeling connected? To deal with the physical withdrawal and loneliness?

If it helps, we're in a D/s dynamic, possible Daddy/girl, romantic dynamic and unsure yet in terms of how to define as it is very early on. We live in different countries, and a good amount of travel time apart. Travel is likely going to be limited to once every 3-4 weeks.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 10:59 AM   #2
Julie
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch *
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 4,674
Thanks: 17,676
Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,632 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850
Julie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

Okay... Here goes.

I am in a very long distance relationship with Dreamer. Dreamer lives in Australia and I live in New York - There is 16k miles between us and right now a 14 hour time difference. We have been doing this for about 18 months. I have been there 2 times and Dreamer has been here once. It is HARD.

Video chat - Skype - Yahoo Video - Movie Nights - Dinner -- Sometimes the video camera is on from the time Dreamer wakes up, till I go to bed. Sometimes we don't even talk. We say goodnight on the phone every night.

Communication is KEY! And so is arguing and not being afraid to be cranky and everything else that goes with relationships. I get really cranky - ask anybody who knows me. I cry a lot and I yell a lot. Dreamer is more balanced, because really only one of us can fall apart at one time and it seems to be me. I fall apart a LOT. But you have to let the other person fall apart TOO - I am not so good at this, but trying to be less selfish, which is also a struggle - cause I am realllllllllllllllllllllllly selfish.

Seeing one another every 3-4 weeks is really quite glorious. Be happy for this and who knows... You live in Canada, a country which allows partner immigration and marriage. The United States does not. At least not yet.

Also --

When you are having doubts or feeling like you cannot do this one more minute - Just imagine the alternative and if it does not sit well or makes you sad - then the alternative is not an option.

Good LUCK!

Julie

__________________
“Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.”
~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


I Love You ~ I Love Us
May 17, 2014
Julie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2011, 11:05 AM   #3
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Smile

Thanks for the ideas Julie, especially the last part about no alternative. Very good way to evaluate it.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 11:10 AM   #4
DaddyMenace
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Her
Relationship Status:
Daddy to Silverseastar
 
DaddyMenace's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Denver
Posts: 1
Thanks: 1
Thanked 5 Times in 1 Post
Rep Power: 0
DaddyMenace is on a distinguished road
Default Settling In

::settling in, watching the thread::: such good advice already.

The alternative, as I said, it simply NOT an option.

Sir
DaddyMenace is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to DaddyMenace For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 11:45 AM   #5
DapperButch
Roadster Guy

How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
 
DapperButch's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,930 Times in 5,775 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
DapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Have you guys met in person yet? It is not completely clear from your post.

If you haven't met yet, I'd say do that first before becoming overwhelmed. I only ask because I have seen people describe themselves as being in a relationship and even pronoucing love before they have even met (and often it is not clear from their posts that they haven't). One never knows if they will be a match until they actually meet. Don't put the cart before the horse.

If you have met...ummm...listen to Julie!

The longest distance I have done was 5 hours away and that was doable. That was a relationship I wasn't looking for. Long distance has never been an option for me. I figure if I don't know what I am missing (a person I have never met), than I am not missing anything!

Good luck. Lots of people make it work.
__________________
-Dapper
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Are you educated or indoctrinated?
DapperButch is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to DapperButch For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 12:11 PM   #6
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Default

*giggles*

Yes of course we've met. Oh my goodness did we meet. That is exactly why it's SO hard.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 12:17 PM   #7
DapperButch
Roadster Guy

How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
 
DapperButch's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,930 Times in 5,775 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
DapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverseastar View Post
*giggles*

Yes of course we've met. Oh my goodness did we meet. That is exactly why it's SO hard.

You may find it strange that one would profess a relationship before meeting, but it certainly happens!

(not that there is something wrong with that )
__________________
-Dapper
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Are you educated or indoctrinated?
DapperButch is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to DapperButch For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 12:27 PM   #8
PapaC
Member

How Do You Identify?:
FTM-Queer
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: west coast
Posts: 214
Thanks: 412
Thanked 485 Times in 111 Posts
Rep Power: 1281631
PapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST Reputation
Default

DapperButch raises a very good point though. So often people say they're in relationships with someone they haven't met in person, and I look at that and cringe (based on personal experience, not trying to be all judgey over here).

Anyway, I'm in a perpetual long distance relationship. Going on 9 years, 5 of it married (in Victoria, BC --- waving across the waters to you Silverseastar). I'm in/always have been in Canada, my wife is in California. Some years it's been great, other years it's been disasterous.

We've had years where we saw each other once every 2 months (that seems like a luxury now), and other times it's been once or twice a year.

Communication and visits and all that blah blah blah that's been mentioned is all great advice. But I caution anyone: This may not be for you. The longer you're in a LDR, particularly as you grow more attached/in love with this person, the harder it's going to be for you. Especially if you're a physical person.

How one copes is ... tricky. Right now, I'm trying to cope by taking care of myself, and making myself priority #1. But anyone who knows me at all knows this hasn't been the case (for many years). I cope by making strides that matter in my life: whether I'm married or not. This might sound harsh to you while you're in the beginning stages of new relationship energy. But you'll feel the tugs and strains of longing like you've never felt before. I find it analogous to being an immigrant and leaving close family behind. I watched my own mom suffer over the years, longing to be 'back home' with her sisters. Endless phone calls when it used to cost $2/min to call Europe.

Long distance relationships can be a money and energy draining monster. Do you have the resolve? Time will tell right? Do you have a plan to be together one day? Again, time will tell.

I may sounds like a downer but I am presenting a reality check here.

Good luck
PapaC is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to PapaC For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 01:12 PM   #9
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Thanks for sharing the challenges PapaC although it is a little heartbreaking to hear.

If all progresses nicely I would not stay living apart more than we would absolutely have to. The maximum I would hope that would be is 4 years. I'm willing to relocate.

I agree that there is a huge emotional cost and commitment and thanks for being honest about what they are for you. I do know people who do it successfully however. I'm just hoping we will be those people.

L.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 01:30 PM   #10
PapaC
Member

How Do You Identify?:
FTM-Queer
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: west coast
Posts: 214
Thanks: 412
Thanked 485 Times in 111 Posts
Rep Power: 1281631
PapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST ReputationPapaC Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Well sure, and it also depends on how you define 'success'. right?
There's been a LOT of good stuff along the way. Don't get me wrong.

One thing I'd stress is: be aware of the limitations of long distance but don't let it limit you. Don't let it be the key factor to not growing or not loving.

For example, we're not as prone to just 'running away' from an arguement anymore. We're not as prone to... ignoring the other (because it can be SO effin' easy to do when it's hard and long distance).

Both of us have .... taken great strides to staying connected, even when it's hard. Being aware that a challenge or fight doesn't spell 'the end'

But like when it comes to fights/arguements it is so much harder to talk it out long distance versus say, when you're with that person, a hand is placed on a thigh and all is forgiven in that moment. We don't have that ... luxury, but beccause we have been together for periods of time where we know what that feels like, we can draw on past experiences of being together, and say... yes, we can cope/survive/work through the hardship.

So I don't mean to be doom and gloom about it. And I am talking during a time where it's been a challenge, but I hope you can glean a bit of wisdom/perspective from this even so.

I wouldn't shy away from another LDR even now, because I know the risks. And every LDR is different too

that's all I have for now. I hope however you cope you continue to find ways to stay connected. It's not always the same way. If txting doesn't work, use email, if email isn't the same, skype. Use video, use the phone. ... be sure to not remain "stuck" in any one method of communication. and most of all: be true to yourself.

PapaC is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to PapaC For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 01:32 PM   #11
Scorp
Italian Stallion

How Do You Identify?:
DNA Usually...
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In a van, down by the river..
Posts: 2,702
Thanks: 1,557
Thanked 4,728 Times in 1,277 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848
Scorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST ReputationScorp Has the BEST Reputation
Default

In MY case, I am living proof that it works. I'm not speaking on behalf of anyone else but myself. I know/knew a lot folks who did the long distance thing and it ended up being disasterous. You really need to do be sure it's the right thing for you and mostly, be sure the person you're having these feelings for is the REAL THING. It takes a lot of time, communication, patience, trust, etc. etc.

You need to be careful and stick to your gut instinct if something isn't right. Don't take what you're feeling for granted in that respect. Luckily I have great intuition and know when something just doesn't feel right.

A lonnng time ago, I use to talk to a ton of girls long distance and can honestly say, very few were the real thing and had qualities I liked. Think with your head. If I was falling for someone I wanted everything out on the table, it probably felt as though they were being put on a witness stand. I'm not a freak in that way, but, I wanted/needed to be sure, especially if I was considering having an ldr.

Also, I didn't want any broken promises made. Been there, done that. And now that I mention that, maybe that's why I wanted to be sure I wasn't getting myself into something that was bad (somewhat) like the first time.

In my first LDR it was for other reasons that it didn't work out and I was in that long distance relationship for 4 years. Toward the end there were a lot of problems, between the distance playing a big factor, and broken promises made to me, bla bla bla. Finally I couldn't deal with it anymore because of excuses and she couldn't commit to relocating after she told me many times she would. It was best for both of us.

I can't believe I had the patience to wait for her all that time, but again, there were other red flags and it was time for me to break it off. And, to be honest, toward the last few months of that relationship, I started to stray. I knew in my heart it was over.

I had NO interested in doing a long distance relationship ever again. It was time consuming and not to mention, my heart was broken. After the break up, I come to realize maybe I "thought" I was in love. But after everything, I realized it possibly wasn't. That experience grew me up a lot and I learned a lot from it. I lost 4 years of my life and wanted some "ME" time and the last thing I was thinking about was getting into another relationship.

So needless to say, I was against long distance relationships and basically didn't want to get involved with anyone else whatsoever, and mostly anyone who wasn't in located in my state. I'm no glutton for punishment.

Then lo and behold time went by and it happened...I was like wtf??? I can't let this happen again. Why the fuck am I digging girls who are not local??!! I never expected for this to happen, but...it did...

We talked on the phone every single day and night (very long hours during the night), would use vacation time (thankfully I got 4 weeks time each year) I would go see her and she would spend her vacations at my place) 1 - 2 weeks at a time. We could also plan accordingly because we both didn't have children and that was also a factor for us. We could be spontaneous with phone calls, visits, just about everything.

After one year of doing the long distance thing, she relocated to be with me. The first year we both continued to live in our own apartments (we were 2 or 3 miles from one another). Then after one year again, we moved in with each other.

With this, it's now recently been a total 9 years for us. We bought a home 4 years ago, have 2 fur babies and...We're finally getting married next month.

I hit the jackpot with having a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, woman in my life. Of course we have our moments just like any other couple, but it sure is a great relationship.

Mostly, be smart and make sure it's the right decision for you. Try and visit as often as you can with each other. The same also applies for skyping, phone calls, whatever you can do.

I look back and say "wow". If someone were to tell me 9 years ago I would be in the relationship I'm in, I'd tell them they have rocks in their head and are crazy.

Again, this is MY story and how it worked out for ME.

I wish you all the best with everything.

-Scorp-
Scorp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2011, 02:41 PM   #12
Julie
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch *
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 4,674
Thanks: 17,676
Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,632 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850
Julie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST ReputationJulie Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

One really important (uber important) matter.

Keep your relationship private. You will find that many people meet in such forums as this or other online venues, such as dating sites, etc... Keep it private.

Very few people knew Dreamer and I even existed. We kept quiet about our relationship for close to a year - Only a few people knew and they kept it quiet. Thank you PEOPLE (you know who you are).

People TALK - People LOVE Drama and everybody has a fucking opinion. And for god sake, do not listen to YOUR FRIENDS. They Do NOT know what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you. When you are sobbing, because you miss that person, don't call your best friend expecting them to simply say, this to shall pass, because they do not really know. And do not listen to the friends who say - Are you crazy? You are setting yourself up for hurt! Honestly, I have seen outside people destroy even the strongest relationships, because they seem to think they know what's best for you. Talk to one another.

This is about TWO people - You and Her/Hym - If your friends cannot be supportive, then perhaps you need to reevaluate.

And most important - Do not bring your fights here (online). While your relationship is online, your relationship does not need to be.

Okay - I am done -- For Now!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and have lots of phone sex. Sometimes, it's all you get.

Kiss Kiss!
Julie
__________________
“Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.”
~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


I Love You ~ I Love Us
May 17, 2014
Julie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2011, 03:02 PM   #13
Tommi
Circling the Planet

How Do You Identify?:
Usually "Hello"
Relationship Status:
Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira )
 
Tommi's Avatar
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach.
Posts: 8,130
Thanks: 13,591
Thanked 21,254 Times in 5,948 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
Tommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default Love you girl...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie View Post
One really important (uber important) matter.

Keep your relationship private. You will find that many people meet in such forums as this or other online venues, such as dating sites, etc... Keep it private.

Very few people knew Dreamer and I even existed. We kept quiet about our relationship for close to a year - Only a few people knew and they kept it quiet. Thank you PEOPLE (you know who you are).

People TALK - People LOVE Drama and everybody has a fucking opinion. And for god sake, do not listen to YOUR FRIENDS. They Do NOT know what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you. When you are sobbing, because you miss that person, don't call your best friend expecting them to simply say, this to shall pass, because they do not really know. And do not listen to the friends who say - Are you crazy? You are setting yourself up for hurt! Honestly, I have seen outside people destroy even the strongest relationships, because they seem to think they know what's best for you. Talk to one another.

This is about TWO people - You and Her/Hym - If your friends cannot be supportive, then perhaps you need to reevaluate.

And most important - Do not bring your fights here (online). While your relationship is online, your relationship does not need to be.

Okay - I am done -- For Now!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and have lots of phone sex. Sometimes, it's all you get.

Kiss Kiss!
Julie
Yes & Yes again
Julie, you must have a golden hammer for the nails you just hit. You expressed it so well, and wrapped it all up in nice tight package, and put a ribbon on it. All I can say IMO is ~ it is fucking hard, and that is ALL I am saying.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

---- MASTER
Tommi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Tommi For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 03:43 PM   #14
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I hear ya Julie and I am SO not a drama queen that way. I'm okay with folks knowing we are into each other. Ironically we met irl, not a forum, but many of the folks who were there and instrumental in us meeting are HERE. So far I've only experienced a lot of support and I hope I've chosen my friends wisely in that respect.

But I'll take your wise words under advisement nonetheless.


L.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 03:50 PM   #15
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Default

PapaC that clarifies it and makes me feel more hopeful, thank you. You must be committed to her and the relationship and that is something special right there. The idea around shaking up the communication is an awesome one as well. Oh, and I forgot to wave across the water to you! I have dear friends in Sooke and a brother in Victoria.

Scorp that is an awesome story of risk and payoff. It gives a clear picture of the reality in all relationships really. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But dang if we don't move towards seeing what is there out of fear we may lose out on something amazing. I'm willing to risk that hurt because so far walking away would feel incredibly wrong.
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 04-23-2011, 09:26 PM   #16
Goo
Member

How Do You Identify?:
dapper and androgynous by nature, human by choice
Preferred Pronoun?:
i usually answer to anything
Relationship Status:
in a LDR since Oct 2010
 
Goo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere on Planet Earth, in a house, in a city
Posts: 116
Thanks: 68
Thanked 119 Times in 55 Posts
Rep Power: 505449
Goo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST ReputationGoo Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Ya'll are so on the nail about LDR's, being in one myself. I know it's hard as he** to deal with the loneliness that goes along with being in one. I usually try to see my Daddi at least every month or every other month. Right now it's going on 3 months, because of finances. But after my court date in early May, I'll be moving down there to be with her.

Must commend everyone who is in a LDR here, whether it be the next state over, or even across borders. It's a tough thing to do, but the heart wants who the heart wants.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


The Artist formerly Known as CottonCandy
Goo is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Goo For This Useful Post:
Old 04-24-2011, 02:16 AM   #17
msW8ing
Member

How Do You Identify?:
multi-faceted gem, femme, submissive babygirl if the chemistry is there.
Preferred Pronoun?:
lady
Relationship Status:
working on myself
 
msW8ing's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lewiston, Idaho
Posts: 920
Thanks: 4,700
Thanked 2,494 Times in 655 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
msW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST ReputationmsW8ing Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Been in a couple LDR's myself. It's the bittersweet of the internet. Meeting all types of people from all walks of life and all over the world. Amazing and astounding to me. Such good advice from everyone. Being the pathetic romantic i am personally. We mailed or collected articles of clothing to sleep with so we had at least one anothers scents to drift off with. It got to be a fun game bartering for articles of one anothers. And it indeed made the phone sex much more personal to have Hys scent with me. Hy worked construction and I always wanted Hys sweaty work tees. (Yes i know i'm a sick puppy) lol But it helped alot. Just my two cents.
__________________
Don't judge me by my past..I don't live there anymore

A lady who knows the ropes..will never be bound. ~Mae West
msW8ing is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to msW8ing For This Useful Post:
Old 04-24-2011, 03:34 AM   #18
Tcountry
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Country Boi
Preferred Pronoun?:
call it as u see it
Relationship Status:
Completely...complete ;)
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Either at the beach or in the pool
Posts: 1,665
Thanks: 3,929
Thanked 4,285 Times in 1,181 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
Tcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST ReputationTcountry Has the BEST Reputation
Default

For the most part I agree with what has been said...
Stay connected however you can(txt, call, Skype, msg, pictures, videos, movie night, voice mail, etc etc). Even get creative with it...cards or 'snail mail' or surprise flowers/gifts...the things that show eachother that u are thinking about them.
Don't get so caught up in the ldr that u forget to do the things that made u happy before u met hym/her(job, family things, doing stuff with friends)...
It is super hard tho...especially after you have spent 'in person' time together...u know what it feels like to wake up together & some days you feel like you would give anything for one touch or kiss or whatever....
On the other hand you have an Awesome opportunity to talk & get to know everything about eachother without getting too "distracted" with the physical...have fun with it. Play 20 questions or the 'what if' game & be honest & learn the things about eachother that no one else knows.
When it is worth it....you'll do just about anything to make it work...but don't forget to just be yourself...
__________________
"You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"
Tcountry is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Tcountry For This Useful Post:
Old 04-24-2011, 09:17 AM   #19
Silverseastar
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Singular
 
Silverseastar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 491 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095516
Silverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST ReputationSilverseastar Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Great advice TCountry, thank you! I think we have "talked" an average of 5-6 hours a day since we've been apart as we can message each other at our workplace. More time talking than many get to have in the same city.

MsW8ing, I can so relate to wanting her stuff with me. She has something of mine but I don't of hers. When I see her next month maybe I can "barter" for something.

CottonCandy- so lucky you can be with your Daddi soon!

We tried Skyping yesterday for the first time and at first it actually made my heart ache all the more that she was right there but not there if you know what I mean. Then after a while it became wonderful to hear her voice and see her facial expressions. I think I'm a convert!
Silverseastar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post:
Old 05-02-2012, 04:51 PM   #20
Darbonaire
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
MALE
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
Relationship Status:
Working on myself, thank you
 
Darbonaire's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 186
Thanks: 343
Thanked 552 Times in 145 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Darbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST ReputationDarbonaire Has the BEST Reputation
Default It's hell actually

The LD thing is hell...to me anyway...or was rather. My soon to be ex-wife of 10 years couldn't do it. She "needs" someone she can touch & hold.....I can understand & I wish her the best. We lived together for 8 of the 10 years. I certainly am not looking for a lover....LD friendships are great though.......so, if anyone is interested in chatting please do. I would need to BE with someone in person though if I ever get with someone again. Like I said...after living with my wife in the same house for 8 years...the last 2 as LD weren't all that.

I wish everyone success at whatever they feel is best or works for them.
Darbonaire is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Darbonaire For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:02 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018