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Old 06-13-2021, 04:33 PM   #6841
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I am feeling exhausted, confused, annoyed, and emotional.

Much, much, much better than when I wrote this.
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Old 06-13-2021, 05:42 PM   #6842
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Happy. My poor son. J had a melt down Friday, I had a melt down Saturday. In between she told him – I quit! I told him – She's fired! We didn't talk with each other and we put him in the middle. Don't worry he assured her, he'd talk to me. Don't worry he assured me, I'll talk to her. We'll bring someone else in to relieve the stress on both of you okay? Her– fine by me. Me– fine by me. Then this morning we both woke up in cheery, sunny moods, apologized, quickly forgave each other and worked out a new game plan. Figured out what we could do differently in the future to prevent that sort of thing happening again. I'm surprised we can't see smoke coming out his ears. All that drama and then this? He's just shaking his head. Lesson learned, next time we just cut out the middleman. LOL – He's so touchy.
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Old 06-14-2021, 05:16 AM   #6843
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Good but a little tired. Hoping energy will pick up after riding the bike a bit.
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Old 06-14-2021, 04:59 PM   #6844
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Pretty good. I had a chill day at work because it rained cats and dogs, off and on, for nearly the whole day and I got the chance to talk to a good friend as well.
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Old 06-14-2021, 05:42 PM   #6845
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Loved, cared about, noticed. Best part, though the first two were from family and sort of expected, the third was from an anonymous stranger with a great big smile on her face. She was cute, and since I'd just had my teeth cleaned, I felt comfortable flashing one back.
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Old 06-14-2021, 05:57 PM   #6846
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I feel like with the right mindset - I can feel exactly how I want too, at any given moment - on any given day.
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Old 06-14-2021, 07:24 PM   #6847
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Great, actually! I just found this:

Kamala Harris becomes 1st sitting vice president to march in Pride parade.


Vice President Kamala Harris walked in the Capital Pride Walk and Rally in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, making history as the first sitting vice president to march in a Pride event.

Harris and second gentleman Doug Emhoff walked and waved, wearing graphic T-shirts that read “Love is love” and “Love first.” Harris greeted those around her with declarations of “Happy Pride!”

During the march, Harris delivered brief remarks to the crowd, advocating for the Senate to pass the Equality Act. The bill, passed by the House of Representatives in February, would prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation or gender identity.

“We celebrate all of the accomplishments, but we need to pass the Equality Act,” Harris said. “We need to make sure that our transgender community and our youth are all protected. We need, still, protections around employment and housing. There is so much more work to do, and I know we are committed.”

The Biden-Harris administration has brought LGBTQ issues to the forefront of its agenda. One of the president’s first executive orders called for an end to discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation. Biden also reversed his predecessor’s ban on transgender people serving in the military and restored transgender health protections. Earlier this month he issued a proclamation recognizing June as Pride Month, vowing to fight for equality for the LGBTQ community.

Harris’s emphasis on the work that needs to be done reflects the reality that LGBTQ rights are still uncertain in many states. This year has seen a historic number of state legislative attempts to push back on LGBTQ protections, including those covering transgender people. So far, more than 250 such bills have been introduced in state legislatures, and 17 have been enacted into law.

A day after the march, Harris released a video on Instagram emphasizing her dedication to fighting for the LGBTQ community. “LGBTQ Americans, I want you to know: We see you. We hear you,” she wrote in the caption. “President Joe Biden and I will not rest until everyone has equal protection under the law. Happy #Pride.”


I love her soo much!
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Old 06-15-2021, 04:00 AM   #6848
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Actually I feel pretty good. I had a good night sleep and am sitting here looking out the window and it appears to have rained all night. Lovely and cool out with only a slight breeze. Finished my muffin and coffee and am going for my morning shower.
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Old 06-19-2021, 04:30 PM   #6849
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I am feeling AMAZING. I had great day with lots of little and not so little moments of happiness and pure joy. The weather was sticky and gross but other than that, it was a fantabulous day.

First, I was doing a perimeter check near the highway and saw two bikers coming my way. Instinctively, I reached my arm out in the 'hi, there!' way that bikers do and the second guy beeped at me and smiled real big. Accidental happy emotional boop!

It's Pride and I decided to go ahead and officially come out to my favorite coworker of all time. I knew it wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't BUT then she came out to ME! My little baby bird is Bi! So then we spent an inordinate about of time talking about girls and butches the rest of the day, which--by itself--would be glorious for me but was extra fun because I've been missing family here and she was in front of me the past 2.5 years.

I have zero gaydar, y'all.

Also, we have pre-scheduled going to Pride together next year. We're going to take the whole weekend off and do it up right! With Father's Day tomorrow, this year just isn't going to work out for her and I don't want to go alone. I hate Providence and I don't feel like paying a ton for a ride share so that's that.

What else? OH!!! I have one customer that was going to be auctioned off next week and she screeched in a minute before close to make a hefty payment. She caused me to have to redo all my deposit and closing information but now I don't have an auction this month!!!

*happy dance*

Also, I love...love....LOVE the torrential downpours that happened today. My lawn needs it and Popcorn needs it. Popcorn is a plant that no one seems to know exactly what she is but I've determined that she's a she and she's butch and she has a butch cock and her name is Popcorn because her cock looks like an ear of corn popping with small yellow buds. She is my only female plant. All of the others are male. Why? Because I said so.

Currently, I feel like I have infinite time and can do anything and everything I could ever want to do. That, of course, is not true but I love this feeling of possibility that comes over me right after work on Saturdays.

I also feel like I might use my purple hair masque tomorrow and see how that turns out.
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Old 06-19-2021, 05:36 PM   #6850
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Today I am feeling just really good. My sister and I went to FYE and found some really good finds. My sister especially. Also, I had to talk her into treating herself - because she is always the one that worries about the bills and her fiance does not. So, today was a day she put a smile on her face - and that in turn made Me feel good. We also went to Auntie Anne's pretzels - we figured out the timeline and it has been years since we have gone- so that was a treat as well Then she stopped and got her eyebrows done - I wandered as this was taking place - so as to not look like a tree standing all by itself in a "girlie" shop. Then we hit up Burlington - and more finds there too. '

The part of the day though that made Me feel really good - was when I was driving home- and I drove the road that Myself and My siblings grew up on - where My maternal grandparents house still stands - where My Mom lived until 2020 when she sold her house. I had tears falling down My face and I turned up my stereo to one of My Mom's favorite songs - Midnight Train to Georgia - and I was singing at the top of My lungs - and then paused to tell My Mom - that her kids are doing alright... and that her oldest and second to the oldest shared happy memories of her as we walked the mall - and I kid you not- as I did this .. the inside of My truck lit up with the brightest sunlight I have seen in a long time.

It felt good to cry and smile at the same time. My heart is overflowing today and I feel blessed.
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Old 09-09-2021, 06:00 AM   #6851
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Feeling pensive.

Remembering where I was on 9/11/2001 (at work worried that nearby Camp Pendleton would be attacked).

Remembering where I was on 9/11/2011 (in the D grieving with some of my family over my sister's passing).

And where I was last year at this time (in Escondido wondering what changes were in store for me).

Changes are what makes the world go 'round, but I'm not always ready for them.
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Old 09-09-2021, 04:48 PM   #6852
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Relaxed, content, happy.
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Old 09-09-2021, 06:48 PM   #6853
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A special blend of happiness, contentment and joy.
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Old 09-14-2021, 07:08 PM   #6854
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Satisfied. Had a wonderful conversation and visit with a past relationship. It was really nice to catch up and make plans for what lies ahead.

Been on a mini vacation this week. Lots of things to do. Bought more furniture and lamps. Yesterday I had an EKG. I mentioned something and my Doctor investigated. Planted a small palm tree. Put up a backsplash in my bathroom. Two ceiling fans went up. Oh no. Not by me! Lol
I'm now a (really clueless) owner of a cordless drill.
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Old 09-14-2021, 10:41 PM   #6855
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Sore, sore all over. I've been forcing myself to stay up and on my feet for 6-8 hours a day and it's just as bad as I remember.
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Old 09-15-2021, 08:27 AM   #6856
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Tired, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well!

Learning to heal, accept what happened and move past it or work towards moving past it, has run me down.

I went on my trip and saw my birth father's grave, shit really hit me then! I apologized to him for cursing him for years, apologized for how much of a bitter old bitch my birth mother was to him and me.

Alot more truths came out in the past 6 months, I found out the true reasons why I was put up for adoption, as well as more past family history. It has been alot to take in and process, but I'm working on it.

After not knowing for 30 plus years, where and whom you come from, all the previous thoughts and feelings fade, change, etc....

Alot more time is needed, to heal.
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Old 09-15-2021, 12:43 PM   #6857
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Excited, my new chair is here, it looks like all the parts and pieces are there, I can't wait to get it assembled!
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Old 10-07-2021, 06:52 AM   #6858
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Good. Saw a osteopathic doctor for my neck and knees this week and I like her a lot.

We went over the x-rays and I have arthritis in my neck. She requested an MRI for me because I had a delayed reflex response when she was checking me out. I'll get the MRI in november and then we'll come up with a plan to manage the numbness and occasional pain.

We went over the x-rays for my knees. I'm a good candidate for knee-replacement surgery with the weight loss and bike rides. I see a surgeon in November. The sooner the better because I have bone-on-bone knee damage and they're starting to collapse (knees are knocking).

I'm feeling good because there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

I've come to dislike reflex tools.

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Old 10-07-2021, 08:20 AM   #6859
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Drained...

Emotionally and physically
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Old 10-07-2021, 05:54 PM   #6860
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I've had a bit of a dip lately....the scale has started to creep up again, I'm frustrated because my new hire has a great attitude and work ethic but is still not catching on after nearly two months on the job, the fatigue from working 6-7 days a week every week for the past two years is REAL, my ride or die has moved up her timeline to move away, the time to decide which of the cats I will be keeping and which I will be rehoming is NOW and that is stressing me out, I have a new health concern and I've been indulging a wee bit too much in retail therapy lately....so I need to get back on track. I'm feeling okay but it could be better.
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