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05-18-2020, 07:09 AM
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#901 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,196
Thanks: 12,170
Thanked 8,458 Times in 2,630 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851   |
Corny Jokes
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
Maybe What do you call someone who has had too much to drink? A Cab When is the moon broke? When it's down to it's last quarter. |
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05-19-2020, 06:53 AM
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#902 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog, because it croaks every day. |
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05-19-2020, 11:09 AM
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#903 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,196
Thanks: 12,170
Thanked 8,458 Times in 2,630 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Corny Jokes
Two bed bugs fell in love and are getting married in the spring.
Did Adam and Eve have a date in the garden? NO they had an apple. Shortest will ever written. Being of sound mind I spent it all. |
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05-24-2020, 05:45 PM
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#904 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
__________________
Kätzchen _____  ______
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05-24-2020, 09:07 PM
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#905 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,196
Thanks: 12,170
Thanked 8,458 Times in 2,630 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Jokes
How do dog catchers get paid? By the pound.
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer. What has T at the beginning, T in the middle and T at the end? A TEAPOT |
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05-25-2020, 07:57 AM
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#906 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Baby Boi Relationship Status:
She is my sunrise and sunset. 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Shore Chicago
Posts: 1,523
Thanks: 10,737
Thanked 10,783 Times in 1,440 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847 |
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll you have'?" The rabbit says, "I dunno, I'm only in here because of Auto correct."
__________________
* * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable |
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05-27-2020, 10:16 PM
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#907 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
What's the hardest thing to sell to a ghost?
Life Insurance
__________________
Kätzchen _____ ______
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05-28-2020, 11:26 AM
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#908 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,196
Thanks: 12,170
Thanked 8,458 Times in 2,630 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Corny Jokes
The moron swallowed his watch yesterday he thought it was time consuming however.
Why are dogs not good dancers? Cause they have two left feet. Why did the chicken cross the road? For foul reasons. |
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06-04-2020, 05:10 PM
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#909 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one. |
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06-05-2020, 06:23 AM
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#910 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Baby Boi Relationship Status:
She is my sunrise and sunset.
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Shore Chicago
Posts: 1,523
Thanks: 10,737
Thanked 10,783 Times in 1,440 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847 |
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.....
She told me to stop going to those places!
__________________
* * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable |
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06-05-2020, 09:11 PM
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#911 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?
A: By their bark.Q: How do you put a baby alien to sleep? A: You rocket.Q: How do you know the moon is going broke? A: When it's down to its last quarter.
__________________
Kätzchen _____ ______
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06-06-2020, 07:14 AM
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#912 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~
How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed |
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06-06-2020, 07:18 AM
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#913 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~~~
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can't tell me that's just a coincidence! |
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06-06-2020, 08:01 AM
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#914 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
☀️☀️☀️ 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 14,770
Thanks: 28,402
Thanked 39,525 Times in 10,204 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
You won't believe this...but...
Pretzels are knot bread.
__________________
 kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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06-06-2020, 09:11 AM
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#915 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Monogamously Attached to my boyfriend and future husband. Join Date: May 2010
Location: He’s usually with me unless I am with Him.
Posts: 15,084
Thanks: 36,003
Thanked 31,991 Times in 9,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
The Toy Story Edition
My two son's absolutely went GaGa for the Toy Story characters, Buzz Lightyear and Woody, years ago.
Here is a few clean jokes that I think are so cute. Q: Why is Buzz Lightyear so good at Maths? A: Because he can count to infinity and beyond.Q: What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to? A: Neptunes.Q: What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy? A: You've got a friend in me.Q: Why is Jesse undefeated in Darts? A: Because she always hits the bullseye.Q: Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school on the sun? A: To get brighter.Q: What does Buzz Lightyear like to read? A: Comet books.Q: Where is Woody directing his new film, called "The Sun"? A: It's set in the west.Q: What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear? A: A lot. There were 3 Toy Story movies.
__________________
Kätzchen _____ ______
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06-06-2020, 01:41 PM
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#916 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
~~~~
Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, “Do you think my chin is getting fat?” I smiled lovingly and replied, “Which one?” |
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06-06-2020, 01:49 PM
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#917 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Relationship Status:
..... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle
Posts: 38,565
Thanks: 20,811
Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
Q. What did the big flower say to the little flower? A. Hi, bud!
Q. Did you hear the one about the little mountain? A. It's hill-arious! Q: Which fruit is a vampire's favorite? A: Neck-tarine! Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? A: Because there are so many plots there! Q. What do you call two birds in love? A. Tweet-hearts! |
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06-06-2020, 03:36 PM
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#918 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
☀️☀️☀️
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 14,770
Thanks: 28,402
Thanked 39,525 Times in 10,204 Posts
Rep Power: 21474862 |
Quote:
__________________
kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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06-14-2020, 07:42 AM
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#919 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Baby Boi Relationship Status:
She is my sunrise and sunset.
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Shore Chicago
Posts: 1,523
Thanks: 10,737
Thanked 10,783 Times in 1,440 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847 |
Perhaps not so much corny, but still jokey.
Last week, while driving, I picked up a hitch hiker. After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer? I told him I thought that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car at the same time were probably extremely small.
__________________
* * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable |
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06-14-2020, 09:52 AM
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#920 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,196
Thanks: 12,170
Thanked 8,458 Times in 2,630 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Corny jokes
My gf, knowing how hard it is for kids the first day of class asked me to get our 6 yr old ready for school, so I punched him, knocked him down and took his lunch money.
Mexico called. They want to pay for the wall themselves now. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. |
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