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Old 08-04-2013, 07:10 AM   #1
Mopsie
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Smile Corny jokes

I work in mental health. My part time job is at a group home. One of the residents loves corny jokes. Everytime I come to work she has a new one to tell me. Then I tell her a corny joke back. I have now exhausted my knowledge of corny jokes. I know I could just google corny jokes but I thought a thread would be more fun!


So what are the corny jokes you know?
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:14 AM   #2
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Default

Here's a joke she told me yesterday:

There are two potatoes standing on a street corner.

How do you know which one is the prostitute?

Answer: The one wearing the sign "Idaho."

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Old 08-04-2013, 07:42 AM   #3
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Default What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:45 AM   #4
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What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Pati-o furniture :-p


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Old 08-04-2013, 09:14 AM   #5
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Default Cute/fun thread Mopsie! :)

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

An algae-bra.
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Old 08-04-2013, 10:57 AM   #6
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How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.
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Old 08-04-2013, 11:35 AM   #7
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Two french fries were walking down the road, and one was a-salted.
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Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi
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Old 08-04-2013, 11:53 AM   #8
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Default God forgive me but I thought this was funny....

So, the Three Wise Men have arrived in Bethlehem, and have found the stable with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. As the enter the stable, the 1st Wise Man ducks through the low door, turns his head and calls over his should "Heads up, low beam". The 2nd Wise Man ducks as well, but doesn't warn the Wise Man following, who walks straight into the knotty pine beam. "Jesus Christ!!" he exclaims, slapping a hand to his bruised forehead.

"You know, I like that better than Irving!" Mary says to Joseph....
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Old 08-04-2013, 01:41 PM   #9
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Default =)

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
U nique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
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Old 08-04-2013, 02:27 PM   #10
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Default

What did the mother buffalo say when her boy went off to college?

Bison!
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Old 08-04-2013, 02:31 PM   #11
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How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.
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Old 08-04-2013, 03:17 PM   #12
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What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

~You look flushed
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Old 08-04-2013, 03:32 PM   #13
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Default Here's another one my client told me last week ...


Q: What do you call a pig who takes karate lessons?

A: Pork chop!

(Said with appropriate accompanying hand gestures ... which made it cuter.)
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Old 08-04-2013, 03:53 PM   #14
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why did the clown go to the doctors?

~he was feeling funny
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Old 08-05-2013, 03:02 AM   #15
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What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?

A doughnut.
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Old 08-05-2013, 08:12 AM   #16
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Default A classic


Q: What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?

A: Sanka
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Old 08-05-2013, 08:34 AM   #17
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Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feely crumby!

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Old 08-05-2013, 10:24 AM   #18
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What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:25 PM   #19
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Default

Why is 6 afraid of 7?


7 8 9...............these are the jokes folks!
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Old 08-05-2013, 01:00 PM   #20
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Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because A is too small, and D is too big.
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