Corny jokes - Page 40

homoe · 08-14-2018, 11:55 PM

homoe · 08-15-2018, 04:39 PM

homoe · 08-15-2018, 04:41 PM

homoe · 08-15-2018, 04:43 PM

homoe · 08-15-2018, 04:44 PM

homoe · 08-15-2018, 04:47 PM

Gemme · 08-16-2018, 09:59 AM

It's National Joke Day!!!

Wrang1er · 09-11-2018, 11:48 AM

How did the vacuum cleaner die?

It bit the dust!

What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants!

ksrainbow · 09-15-2018, 04:46 PM

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.

One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!”

The other guy replies “You are on the other side!”

Ks-

ksrainbow · 09-21-2018, 06:33 PM

A young man was about to play golf when an old gentleman shuffled onto
the tee and asked if he could accompany him.

Eventually on the 9th fairway the young man found himself with a tough
shot. There was a large pine tree directly between his ball and the
green.

The old man said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right
over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and
hit the ball, which smacked solidly into the tree and dropped to the
ground about one foot from where it had started.

The old man remarked, “Of course, when I was your age that tree was only
3 feet tall.”

Ks-

ksrainbow · 10-13-2018, 01:33 AM

What do cows read?

CATTLE-logs

What do you call sad coffee?

Depresso.

Ks-

A. Spectre · 10-13-2018, 09:36 AM

How do monsters like their eggs?

TERRI-FRIED!

A. Spectre · 10-26-2018, 03:45 AM

Q. What is the opposite of irony?

A. Wrinkly

homoe · 10-26-2018, 09:11 AM

ksrainbow · 10-26-2018, 06:27 PM

What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball?
Between you and me something smells.

Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

Doctors at a hospital went on strike. Hospital officials said they would find out what the doctors’ demands were just as soon as they could get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.

Ks-

Esme nha Maire · 10-29-2018, 04:47 AM

Spotted in the comments thread to a tech news item that IBM (aka "Big Blue" boo!) bought Red Hat (yay!) yesterday:

"A ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint.

The survivors were marooned."

homoe · 10-29-2018, 09:36 AM

charley · 10-31-2018, 05:55 AM

Why didn't the skeleton go out trick-or-treating on Halloween?

He was gutless.

homoe · 10-31-2018, 10:50 AM

homoe · 10-31-2018, 10:51 AM

08-16-2018, 09:59 AM	#787
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,585 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,168 Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,657 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	It's National Joke Day!!! __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

10-13-2018, 09:36 AM	#792
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,523 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,737 Thanked 10,782 Times in 1,440 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	How do monsters like their eggs? TERRI-FRIED! __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

10-26-2018, 03:45 AM	#793
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,523 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,737 Thanked 10,782 Times in 1,440 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	Q. What is the opposite of irony? A. Wrinkly __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

10-31-2018, 05:55 AM	#798
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Happy Samhaim Why didn't the skeleton go out trick-or-treating on Halloween? He was gutless.

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08-14-2018, 11:55 PM	#781
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

08-15-2018, 04:39 PM	#782
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

08-15-2018, 04:41 PM	#783
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

08-15-2018, 04:43 PM	#784
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

08-15-2018, 04:44 PM	#785
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

08-15-2018, 04:47 PM	#786
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

09-11-2018, 11:48 AM	#788
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	How did the vacuum cleaner die? It bit the dust! What do clouds wear under their shorts? Thunderpants!

09-15-2018, 04:46 PM	#789
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 762 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,680 Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies “You are on the other side!” Ks-

09-21-2018, 06:33 PM	#790
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 762 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,680 Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	A young man was about to play golf when an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany him. Eventually on the 9th fairway the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree directly between his ball and the green. The old man said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.” With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and hit the ball, which smacked solidly into the tree and dropped to the ground about one foot from where it had started. The old man remarked, “Of course, when I was your age that tree was only 3 feet tall.” Ks-

10-13-2018, 01:33 AM	#791
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 762 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,680 Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	What do cows read? CATTLE-logs What do you call sad coffee? Depresso. Ks-

10-26-2018, 09:11 AM	#794
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

10-26-2018, 06:27 PM	#795
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 762 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,680 Thanked 2,149 Times in 561 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? Between you and me something smells. Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom. Doctors at a hospital went on strike. Hospital officials said they would find out what the doctors’ demands were just as soon as they could get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs. Ks-

10-29-2018, 04:47 AM	#796
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,089 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310768	Spotted in the comments thread to a tech news item that IBM (aka "Big Blue" boo!) bought Red Hat (yay!) yesterday: "A ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint. The survivors were marooned."

10-29-2018, 09:36 AM	#797
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

10-31-2018, 10:50 AM	#799
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889

10-31-2018, 10:51 AM	#800
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,586 Times in 14,918 Posts Rep Power: 21474889